How is it possible to so deeply miss someone you have yet to meet? This is an ache with which I have become very familiar. I experienced it with many tears and prayers for two years before finally conceiving Benjamin. It has been my companion once again for these past 16 months. Today my hopes of being pregnant with a second child before turning 30 were dashed. At least this time I was wise enough to wait another day before putting myself through the heightened disappointment of another false pregnancy test. It still sits untouched in a drawer waiting for a more opportune time.
A few months ago I was driving and praying, silent tears streaming down my cheeks as I told the Lord, "I ache for my future children!" I felt Him whisper back, "I ache for Mine too." His words caught me off-guard, and my prayer that day shifted from seeking the fulfillment of my desires to seeking the fulfillment of His. If I can feel such a deep pain of longing for my children yet to be born, how much does His heart ache for His children who have yet to be born again? Father, fill me with love for the children You are longing for, and use my life to help "birth" them into the Kingdom. Sustain my heart as I wait for the blessing of my own future babies. Thank You that they already exist in Your heart.