A Night for Grace
Grace twirled in front of her bedroom mirror in her brand
new dress, checked to make sure her hair and make-up were just right, and
smiled wide. Tonight was a very special night. She had celebrated her
fourteenth birthday a few days prior, and this evening she was going on her
very first date with a very special someone. Butterflies of excited
anticipation fluttered in her stomach as she grabbed her purse and bag and got
ready to head downstairs for her big night. She had been instructed to dress up
for dinner but have a change of comfy clothes ready for activities later in the
evening. As she descended the staircase, her date was waiting for her at the
bottom, dressed in suit and tie, holding a bouquet of red roses and beaming
with a huge smile spread across his face. As she reached his side, he bent
down, gently kissed her on the cheek, and whispered, “You look beautiful,
Princess!”
“Thank you, Daddy,” Grace giggled. “The flowers are
gorgeous!”
“I’ll put them in a vase for you, Honey,” her mother said
smiling. “And now you two stand together so I can get a picture!”
A few minutes later the pair exited the house and headed
for the car. Grace’s dad opened the door for her as she slid in, shutting it
gently behind her. “I’ve been looking forward to this evening for a long time,”
he said as he put the car in gear and pulled out of the driveway. “Let’s go
make some memories!”
Grace let out a gasp of delight about ten minutes later
when they pulled into the parking lot of the nicest restaurant in town. Patrons
could only dine there if they had made prior reservations. The candlelit tables
were set with beautiful linen and fine china. The service staff members were
all dressed in their best, ready to wait hand and foot on their customers.
Grace had only driven by this high end place but had never dreamed of eating
there. “We’re having dinner here?!” she exclaimed.
“Only the best for my princess,” her father replied with a
grin.
They received a warm greeting from the staff as they
entered and confirmed their reservations for the evening. As they were led back
to their table set by a beautiful bay window, Grace noticed the hanging
chandeliers, the lovely flower arrangements, and the small, live orchestra
playing softly in the background. She was already feeling like a princess!
“Grace, please order anything you want on the menu. What
looks good?” There were so many tempting options, but she finally decided on a
savory grilled chicken dish, with creamy mashed potatoes, a generous tossed
salad and steaming homemade bread rolls. Her dad ordered a juicy steak just the
way he liked it with a delicious assortment of sides as well.
After their order was taken, and they waited for their
dinner to arrive, Grace commented “Daddy, this place is beautiful! Thank you so
much for bringing me here.”
“It’s my pleasure!” he replied. “Tonight is a special
night, and I want you to feel just how valuable you are to me.” They continued
their conversation through their delicious dinner talking about Grace’s school,
her upcoming music and sports events, her friends, their family and anything
else that popped up. They laughed together, shared from the heart, and had a
wonderful time. For dessert, they split a piece of decadent chocolate cake.
As they finished their meal and the dishes were cleared
from the table, Grace’s father shifted the conversation. “Grace, as I already
mentioned, tonight is a very special night. I want you to know that your mom
and I are so proud of you! You are growing up to be a beautiful young woman,
inside and out. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of taking you on your
first date.”
“Daddy, thank you
for taking me out tonight. You’ve made me feel so special!”
“You are special, Grace, and that’s what I want to
demonstrate to you tonight. I want you to remember that you deserve and should
expect to be treated like a lady. You are entering a new season of your life,
and I want you to know that your heart and your body are valuable gifts to be
saved for the man who will one day commit to making you his wife. We have been
praying for him since the day you were born, praying that he will be a man of
love, integrity and purity—a man who will respect you and cherish you for life.
Smiling and teary-eyed Grace replied “Daddy, tell me again
the story of how you and Mom fell in love.”
“Gladly!” he said smiling. “As you know, we met while we
were in college. It seemed we kept running into each other on campus. I
recognized that she was a beautiful woman, but at that point I wasn’t on the
look-out for a relationship. I was focused on my studies and enjoying my time
as a single. She wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time either.
However, with each encounter, we found that there was such an ease for
conversation, and we really enjoyed each other’s presence. In time, our
“chance” encounters became planned encounters as a friendship began to grow. We
spent time with groups of friends, but we also took walks around campus, or
hung out at the local coffee shop talking about anything and everything. We
were quickly becoming the best of friends, and it wasn’t long before I realized
that I was falling in love with this amazing woman. After having a serious
heart to heart one night, I made a call to her parents the next day, requesting
permission to date their daughter.”
“Why did you ask permission, Daddy? Weren’t you both old
enough to decide for yourselves?”
“We were, but we wanted to invite our families into our
developing relationship. I wanted to honor your mom by honoring her parents who
had raised her. If she was to become my partner for life, I knew I would also be
joined to her family as well. This is a big reason why we have such a close
relationship with your grandparents today!”
“What was it like when you started dating?” Grace asked.
“It was exciting and a bit surreal as well. We had
developed such a close friendship, and now we were trying to transition into
something even deeper. We made a decision together early on that many people
may not understand or even agree with. It wasn’t a decision we had to make; it was a decision we chose to make. We agreed that we would
save our first kiss for our wedding day, and if it turned out that we didn’t
marry, we could gracefully walk away from the relationship, knowing that we
hadn’t given that part of our hearts away.”
“Why did you want to wait to kiss each other? Would it
have been wrong to kiss?” Grace inquired.
“No, it wouldn’t have been wrong. For us it wasn’t about
right or wrong but about better or best. We felt that the best decision for us
was to wait, even for a kiss. We had both been in previous relationships where
we had kissed. We knew that kissing awakened physical passion in a greater way,
and we knew that we gave a piece of our hearts away with each kiss. We both
carried regret and some painful memories from those earlier relationships. We
wanted to protect ourselves and each other from further regret, should our
relationship not end in marriage. As I
said before, your mom is a beautiful woman, and of course I desired her. I also
respected her and valued her. Protecting her heart and her purity was very
important to me, and she felt the same way. We weren’t keeping something from each other, but saving something for each other when it could be given
its full expression in commitment and purity. I knew she was worth the wait!”
“Wasn’t it still really hard to do? Some of my friends
have boyfriends and they kiss. They tell me how romantic it is and how good it
makes them feel.”
“There were times it was hard, but since we made the decision
together, it was much easier than most people would imagine. During the time we
dated, we continued to focus mainly on our friendship, not on physical
expressions of affection. Even after I proposed to her and we began making our
wedding plans we continued to wait. We knew that the closer we came to our
wedding day, the greater our desire for each other would become. We were
committed to maintaining our virginity for our wedding night, and we didn’t
want to add needless temptation in this area. It’s also important to recognize
that sometimes physical connection can become a substitute for relational
connection. It can make you feel so close to a person. It can make you feel
like you really know them; but if there isn’t genuine friendship as a foundation,
it can be very misleading. If we had brought greater levels of physical
affection into our relationship as we dated, we may have focused more on that
than on our friendship. Your mom and I were best friends before we started
dating and our friendship only continued to grow; we are still best friends
today. Romantic feelings come and go in every relationship, but friendship is
enduring.”
Grace paused for a moment, considering what her dad just
shared before asking, “What was it like when you finally kissed?”
Smiling, he replied, “It was one of the most incredible
moments of my life! When your mom entered the church sanctuary, she took my
breath away. She was the most beautiful bride I could have ever imagined. I
could hardly focus on the wedding ceremony; I was so captivated by her! When
the time came for us to seal our marriage with a kiss, I felt like my heart was
going to beat out of my chest. Our first kiss was one of the most beautiful,
memorable moments of my life. It’s a memory I will always cherish. I know your
friends have told you about how special it is when they kiss their boyfriends,
but special moments now can become painful memories in the future if those
relationships don’t last. Every time you kiss, you offer a piece of your heart.
It’s important that the one you give this precious gift to is one who can be
trusted with your heart, not someone just using you for their own momentary
pleasure.”
Grace was silent again as she let her father’s words sink
in.
“Grace, please understand that I am not telling you what
you have to do. You will be
responsible to make your own choices in this area. However, I do want to encourage you to make decisions that
will benefit you and your future husband and protect you from needless pain.
You may decide to approach the area of dating differently than your mom and I
did, and you have the freedom to make that choice. Whatever you choose to do in
time, I just want you to remember that your purity is a gift, and only you can
choose who will open it. I know that you’ve committed before to saving your
virginity for your marriage, and that commitment is a priceless one. We just celebrated your birthday, but there’s
one more gift that was saved especially for tonight!” With that, he reached
into his pocket, pulled out a small velvet box, and gently handed it to his
daughter.
“What’s this?” Grace asked with surprise and delight in
her eyes.
“Open it.”
Grace carefully opened the small box and gasped. Inside
was a beautiful white gold ring with a heart at the center outlined in delicate
emerald stones—her birthstone. “Daddy! It’s gorgeous!” she exclaimed.
Smiling, he gently removed the ring and slipped it on her
left ring finger. “Grace, this is your purity ring. It is a representation of
your commitment to God, yourself, and your future husband to save your
virginity for your marriage bed. One day it will be replaced by a wedding ring
from the man who will commit to you and cherish you for life. Your mom also
received a purity ring as a teenager. She presented it to me as a gift on our
wedding night. I cherish that ring and what it represents to this day.”
“Daddy, I don’t know what to say,” Grace replied as she
gazed at the sparkling ring on her finger. “This means so much to me! I will
wear it every day.”
Grace’s dad looked at his daughter affectionately and
said, “Honey, I am so very proud of you! You are such a treasure to me, and you
will be a treasure to your husband someday… But that day is still a ways off,
and we’re not done with our date!
What do you say we get changed, and I challenge you to a game of miniature
golf?!”
“Absolutely,” Grace responded, “but you know that I can
beat you!”
“We’ll see when we get there!”
An hour later Grace jumped up and down excitedly yelling,
“Go, go, go!...Yes! I got a hole in one!”
“Okay,” her dad conceded. “You beat me on that one, but
we still have half the course to go. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve!”
He pulled her into a side hug and planted a kiss on her forehead before heading
to the next hole.
Giggling, Grace looked down again at her beautiful new
ring, shimmering as the emeralds caught the light. “Yes,” she thought, “I do
want to save myself for a man who will cherish me, a man who honors me and
values my purity, a man who I can trust with my heart…a man just like Daddy!”
