tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64963367162387647562024-03-14T02:00:48.028-07:00Reflections from HollandStories from life with our son with Down syndromeDanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.comBlogger125125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-71272476187022750622021-10-03T19:41:00.004-07:002021-10-03T19:41:52.378-07:00Barren to Fruitful<p> <i>(After allowing nearly a year to slip by without posting a new blog, I was starting to wonder if maybe this blog had run its course. Honestly, I've had a pretty bad case of writer's block the last several months. Inspiration finally came recently! I feel more alive and refreshed when I write. It's good to be at the keyboard again...)</i></p><p>Barrenness...many women throughout the ages have experienced this heart-wrenching pain. Carrying the deep longing to carry a baby and being unable to brings with it a specific grief that at times can feel all-consuming. The tension of hoping and waiting, mixed with piled up disappointments can feel crushing. There were some extended periods of time in my life when I felt this pain so keenly. Sometime during our first year of marriage, Shawn and I were becoming increasingly convinced that we may have a surprise pregnancy. Our anticipation and excitement began to rise, only to ultimately be disappointed. We quickly realized we no longer wanted to wait to start a family, yet months, followed by years, began to slip by with no baby. Meanwhile, other young couples around us were welcoming children into their lives. We began to wonder if we could have a baby. Since my earliest memories, I knew I wanted to be a mommy someday. The thought that I may be barren was absolutely devastating! My constant prayer was <i>Lord, open my womb. Fulfill my desire!</i></p><p>Then came the fateful day a few years later when the pregnancy test was finally positive, and I could not stop weeping for joy! You can read more <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/02/companys-coming.html">here</a>. We could never have ever expected that our joy was soon to be mixed with deep pain as our precious son would be delivered early by emergency C-section, fighting for his very life. We would never have considered ourselves prepared for a diagnosis of Down syndrome, life in the NICU, and congenital heart defects which would require surgery at two months old. Benjamin's first year was a blur of doctor appointments, surgeries, hospital stays, seizures, hearing loss followed by hearing aids, and the painful reality of significant developmental delays. <i>(A few years later, our son's hearing was miraculously restored! You can read more <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2012/06/you-heard-what-i-said-part-one.html">here</a> and <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2012/06/you-heard-what-i-said-part-two.html">here</a>.) </i>Though we never could have imagined being prepared for these trials, God's grace and goodness carried us through the darkest of moments, and our unconditional love for our sweet son gave us the motivation to persevere through each new hurdle. We learned and grew so much in those early years, and the growth has continued as we have faced new challenges, including our son's diagnosis of autism when he was 8 years old. You can read more about that <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2017/04/he-is-still-my-son.html">here</a>. We so love our precious firstborn who is now 12 years old!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA2wT-WiaaNKoWPXjFkSAxviuzWmjzjNzfdGTLsEO90V0DMQ6BsO6cXTtynhAat2pb31t9N9bEKpPJ8V-97ERI9uHBoBL1lYm6PomDOgThPzyDWOo6UEkNw0v6C3TCAw_cCXEiIaEEDjBo/s604/Ben+baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="453" data-original-width="604" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA2wT-WiaaNKoWPXjFkSAxviuzWmjzjNzfdGTLsEO90V0DMQ6BsO6cXTtynhAat2pb31t9N9bEKpPJ8V-97ERI9uHBoBL1lYm6PomDOgThPzyDWOo6UEkNw0v6C3TCAw_cCXEiIaEEDjBo/w200-h150/Ben+baby.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvm0xcyN0BbPt-7V1N-M-C1F6_2rqhgB3jDGNsgK8PsvO6Dt8lNBFSd3NDMJR6aaHLyPu55PI1LWv6-01E_QY1wKZdrFoYoaVawqK6fAbzjb0Bow_VZdMCMyGMopm2vHzxqAuIpVYUVaqo/s960/Benjamin+and+Mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvm0xcyN0BbPt-7V1N-M-C1F6_2rqhgB3jDGNsgK8PsvO6Dt8lNBFSd3NDMJR6aaHLyPu55PI1LWv6-01E_QY1wKZdrFoYoaVawqK6fAbzjb0Bow_VZdMCMyGMopm2vHzxqAuIpVYUVaqo/w150-h200/Benjamin+and+Mom.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p>I know that it has been common for many families who start out with a child with special needs to make the decision not to have any more children. What if something goes wrong again? How could they juggle caring for another child considering the extra needs they currently must meet on a daily basis? Though these struggles are very real for many, this was never even a thought for Shawn and me. We knew we wanted our family to grow, and after that first shaky year, we were hoping to welcome a second child soon. Yet, once again, the months began to slip into years. The desire for another baby was completely consuming me once more, and I kept asking the Lord to grant my desire. It was at this time that I felt Him gently but clearly speak to my heart, <i>Lay down your desire for more children on the altar. Surrender it to Me completely. </i>Could He really mean this? My desire was good! Was He really requiring me to lay it down entirely? </p><p>As much as I wanted to reason this away, I knew deep down what I was being asked to do. With a trembling heart, and countless tears, my prayer shifted to, <i>Lord, I surrender my womb. I lay down my desire. </i>It was a painful process that had to be re-affirmed day by day, sometimes hour by hour. I knew that it was not enough to simply say the words; I had to literally be willing to give up my desire, not knowing if He would ever grant me more children. I had to be willing to trust Him and love Him, even if He never fulfilled my desire. At this same time, a few of my girl friends announced that they were expecting babies. The test was severe, but by God's grace, I was able to truly lay my longing on the altar. It was incredibly painful, but wonderfully freeing as well, as I surrendered my control, knowing I could fully trust my Father's plans for my life. In His goodness, it was not long after this process that we learned with delight that we were expecting again! Another test of faith came when I experienced a few frightening months of bleeding during the end of my first trimester and into my second, but thankfully the Lord sustained our baby. Shortly before Benjamin's 4th birthday we welcomed our beautiful daughter Joelle into our lives with much rejoicing!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglZhGqE1er5GqJWasNq83mpuie9sLc9VHjHd29iZabWflrE-q7sl_w43Y6YHiLpGmt3AJH8wHZ0VIbDTBMWokYVQOLatmjWjQyIRLTprSb_WEEGW4w9YU5DEb9M0Th7LWehNSNRNx1y4NL/s2048/DSCF8344.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglZhGqE1er5GqJWasNq83mpuie9sLc9VHjHd29iZabWflrE-q7sl_w43Y6YHiLpGmt3AJH8wHZ0VIbDTBMWokYVQOLatmjWjQyIRLTprSb_WEEGW4w9YU5DEb9M0Th7LWehNSNRNx1y4NL/w200-h150/DSCF8344.JPG" width="200" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ5o5iBe_0TY2FIwLdvwxFgAVR-KMLDt_CJpY95sNQU6maSCAMwJBYl55PijQHDZX7fwLdUWU6kU-FuqGdPbXZOOyAZLYkzFu0qWz9ZUo_6k5aJqBle0_Snb5ZnRZIC5GvhGFAjyYdz-IH/s960/Joelle+and+Mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ5o5iBe_0TY2FIwLdvwxFgAVR-KMLDt_CJpY95sNQU6maSCAMwJBYl55PijQHDZX7fwLdUWU6kU-FuqGdPbXZOOyAZLYkzFu0qWz9ZUo_6k5aJqBle0_Snb5ZnRZIC5GvhGFAjyYdz-IH/w150-h200/Joelle+and+Mom.jpg" width="150" /></a></div></div><p>Sometime after we adjusted to being a family of four, the Lord began to speak to my heart again through the story of Hannah in the Bible. She longed for a child, but for years was unable to conceive, and in the culture of that day, she felt much shame. 1 Samuel 1:10-11 records her heartfelt prayer:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, "Lord Almighty, if You will only look on Your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget Your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."</i></p><p style="text-align: left;">Soon after her prayer, God blessed Hannah with a son, and the mighty prophet Samuel was born. She was true to her word and dedicated him to the Lord's service, which altered the trajectory of an entire nation! God continued to bless Hannah, and she welcomed many more sons and daughters into the world. What struck me in this biblical account was that Hannah was desiring a son, but God was desiring a prophet. He was looking for a willing vessel. I realized that my prayers to that point concerning children had been focused on my personal desires, even when it came to surrendering them, yet it had never occurred to me that God had desires He wanted to fulfill in this area. My prayer once again shifted to, <i>Lord, I offer You my womb. Fulfill Your desire through me. </i></p><p style="text-align: left;">It wasn't long after this that the Lord blessed us once again, and our little Josiah was born on the exact day that Joelle turned two-and-a-half. Considering the shift in my prayer, I had an increased sense of destiny and purpose over our son's life all throughout the pregnancy. Of course I believe that God has plans and purposes for all of our children, but my awareness of this was even more keenly felt with Josiah. What a shock it was then, when he experienced complications at birth, which nearly caused us to lose him! </p><p style="text-align: left;">Due to my medical history, I was required to have repeat C-sections for each delivery. At the moment Josiah was pulled from my womb, he inhaled amniotic fluid into his lungs instead of air and literally began to drown! Doctors worked feverishly to suction his lungs and get him stabilized, while a nurse applied pressure to my open abdomen, hoping to stem the blood flow until I could be stitched back up again. It was only later that I learned how miraculously God sustained me during this ordeal. The doctor later confided that she fully expected that I would require a blood transfusion as a result, yet against all medical reason, I lost <i>less</i> blood than during a routine C-section!</p><p style="text-align: left;">I only had one brief glimpse of Josiah when he was very first delivered. Once he was stable enough, he was transferred to an oxygen tent for close monitoring, while I was taken to recovery. I was aching to see my baby, but he was not yet stable enough for them to bring him to me. I felt like I was reliving the nightmare that surrounded our first son's birth. (I had waited hours to see Benjamin after his birth, and wasn't allowed to hold him for nine days). A few hours later Josiah had another breathing episode, and the pediatrician ordered his transfer to a NICU an hour away, as our local hospital did not have this facility. I still hadn't seen my son. With shock and heartbreak, I realized I would not be able to see him for some time. My surgery required me to remain in the local hospital for the next few days. Shawn and I agreed it was most important for him to go spend as much time as possible with Josiah. Friends and family stepped up to watch our other children and to come visit me while I recovered and ached with longing for my baby. </p><p style="text-align: left;">After three days that felt like an eternity, I was finally released from the hospital. Shawn drove me home briefly to hug and kiss Benjamin and Joelle, and then he took me to Tulsa to finally see my baby. Thankfully, Josiah had improved enough to be discharged that same evening, and we gratefully took our precious boy home. Life eventually found its new rhythm once again. Though I'm jumping ahead in the story for a moment, we faced another trial of faith when Josiah was also diagnosed with autism at age 4. How could this happen? Having one child with special needs was a big challenge in itself, but now two? Why would God allow this to happen? What about the strong sense of purpose and destiny I had felt about Josiah's life? Surely autism couldn't be part of that plan? Once again, I have had to surrender my desires and expectations to the Lord. None of this has caught Him off-guard. He is Sovereign. I have had to remind myself, often with tears, that Josiah having a diagnosis of autism in no way negates God's plan for his life. God's ways are not our ways. It is for me to trust Him and follow Him, no matter what unexpected turn life's path my take. Though I would not have chosen this path, I can accept with joy the lot we have received, knowing that I only see the here and now, while God's eternal purposes are unfolding. I have high hopes for our sweet son.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMiRNeSfDzCdveZ1Wwfy6a7CtptH2VjhHedIlc7VIoZsvUV2SgWtJ-n-KltfjboRWxHrOLjzJNbAYBKBmGAgm5zu9Z360xcJV4WV_MmPkEvbKxoug74qNuljS9zkQSFJeMFtgH9hVKLgMx/s540/Josiah+baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMiRNeSfDzCdveZ1Wwfy6a7CtptH2VjhHedIlc7VIoZsvUV2SgWtJ-n-KltfjboRWxHrOLjzJNbAYBKBmGAgm5zu9Z360xcJV4WV_MmPkEvbKxoug74qNuljS9zkQSFJeMFtgH9hVKLgMx/w200-h200/Josiah+baby.jpg" width="200" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZBIeeSG3MzZqoTt7YPpm7PZi4dVg0Lr6cBFJyMELYyo-hASGD1k_zpgNKdIqdWiurp_L2ji5SBGz2ykZIc4weiZqHT53gHpVvfAne38nTA6H5QAmmR_swbz6e-9bi9jLfZszyq2dDkf7/s960/Josiah+and+Mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZBIeeSG3MzZqoTt7YPpm7PZi4dVg0Lr6cBFJyMELYyo-hASGD1k_zpgNKdIqdWiurp_L2ji5SBGz2ykZIc4weiZqHT53gHpVvfAne38nTA6H5QAmmR_swbz6e-9bi9jLfZszyq2dDkf7/w150-h200/Josiah+and+Mom.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><br /></div><p style="text-align: left;">Before Shawn and I ever had any children, three names had already made our list of baby names. Shawn had long wanted a Benjamin. When he offered the name Josiah should we ever have two sons, I readily accepted it, but then told him, "I'm picking a girl name!" When I read the name Joelle in a book dedication shortly thereafter, I knew that was the one! Now that all three names had been fulfilled, we wondered if maybe the Lord had given us all the children He intended. However, our hearts remained open. I was gripped by the passage Romans 12:1 in the Bible:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship.</i></p><p style="text-align: left;">I couldn't help but be challenged by the thought that as Christians we talk about surrendering every area of our lives to the Lord and living for His purposes and glory, yet we by and large do not apply this to the area of bearing children. Yet the Bible is full of rich passages speaking of the blessing of children and the Lord's desire for godly families. In fact, in Malachi 2:15 the Lord says:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>Has not the one God made you? You belong to Him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.</i></p><p style="text-align: left;">The more I pondered these things, the more I realized that the Body of Christ has had a tendency to adopt the culture's mindset toward child-bearing. We say we surrender our lives to Him, <i><b>but not the womb.</b> </i>The common sentiment, even among believers, is to ask, "How many children do <i>you</i> want, and to be quick to cut things off when <i>we </i>feel like it. Yet do we even consider to ask the Lord what His desire and intent may be? I realize I am undoubtedly stepping on some toes with these statements, but please hear my heart. I am not saying that God requires everyone to have a large family. There are plenty of examples from the Bible when He only purposed one or two children (ex. Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, etc...) There are also some He calls to a life of singleness or those who are unable to have children naturally. Motherhood is greater that only biological children. Many woman mother through foster care, adoption, or simply investing in the lives of others. God's plan will look different for each one. The whole point I'm trying to make is that, as followers of Jesus Christ, we should welcome the Lord, His wisdom and counsel into all these areas of our lives. He is trustworthy. </p><p style="text-align: left;">After Josiah's birth I was content. If God did not purpose more children for us, I was at peace with that. If He wanted to give us more, I wanted to be a yielded vessel. My prayer became, <i>Lord, I yield my womb to You. </i>It still came with some element of surprise, however, when I discovered I was expecting once again a few months after Josiah's second birthday. We were overjoyed with the discovery that another baby girl was coming, and after some debate, we settled on the name Ava. Though I was well into my mid-thirties at this point, I was blessed with my easiest pregnancy yet, followed by a complication free delivery. What a healing experience that was for me! Our second little girl is the only red-head of our crew, with a fiery personality to match, tempered by a heart-melting sweetness as well. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEIuTG1W56AiiuSVM5TlYPLnb9rr7IjdOB5IgtukSwfiJpV8KaAX7dbEjFgvDp1Wik-rIORFOurAv-xBx6IeMsrSgAqzTCJUJeXDxNlSWS8SPV4bqRviA37KdlCRjQTkUJ1fwsGrryevU5/s960/Ava+baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEIuTG1W56AiiuSVM5TlYPLnb9rr7IjdOB5IgtukSwfiJpV8KaAX7dbEjFgvDp1Wik-rIORFOurAv-xBx6IeMsrSgAqzTCJUJeXDxNlSWS8SPV4bqRviA37KdlCRjQTkUJ1fwsGrryevU5/w150-h200/Ava+baby.jpg" width="150" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBqYj7vn4YRXR8wuU4MvrPUGGGROWxhcLxoTtf9ax5XR4qEf8HCxpD7WgHmHV9oCjAug6YQdqvcObxDIbFZU6fZMNToMChu7zeLP0AgJSUm34pBFLi8JRSwvlYiwMPDJaGCKFh4_wc6q5E/s960/Ava+and+Mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBqYj7vn4YRXR8wuU4MvrPUGGGROWxhcLxoTtf9ax5XR4qEf8HCxpD7WgHmHV9oCjAug6YQdqvcObxDIbFZU6fZMNToMChu7zeLP0AgJSUm34pBFLi8JRSwvlYiwMPDJaGCKFh4_wc6q5E/w150-h200/Ava+and+Mom.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><br /></div><p style="text-align: left;">At this point, I really did think that God had more than likely completed our biological family, though our hearts have always remained open to the possibility of adoption. Yet in April of this year, He saw fit to open my womb once more, and in a few short months we will welcome our third son Elijah! I am now 39 and can certainly feel the changes in my body as the aches and pains of pregnancy seem to be more keenly realized, yet my heart is filled with awe and gratitude that we are being entrusted with another little eternal soul, straight from the heart of Almighty God Who knows the end from the beginning, and has a purpose for this life I carry inside. The reality of having another major surgery in a few months does feel daunting, but I am trusting the Lord to sustain both baby and me through the process as He has been faithful to do each time. I also have a sense that Elijah will be healing for Shawn and me as well, as we have grieved the disabilities of our other precious boys and have had to readjust our expectations of what life with them will look like. I so look forward to the prospect of being able to have a conversation in time with our third sweet son; an experience I have not been able to have with Benjamin and Josiah, though I am still very hopeful that one day Josiah will converse.</p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5vK-by8HJnrTc2xgxIXuSeriFEMkquhK2uJrqF0lD9CZxcdlXpnBOWJxzbmwL6lWHTxkFVMha6xZGnPFOnhcWnCPHcqUVyv7IuRVYW4ulsX21dJUuRoIr7C_VML-LnqYLhLhzP5DoALtt/s2048/pregnant+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5vK-by8HJnrTc2xgxIXuSeriFEMkquhK2uJrqF0lD9CZxcdlXpnBOWJxzbmwL6lWHTxkFVMha6xZGnPFOnhcWnCPHcqUVyv7IuRVYW4ulsX21dJUuRoIr7C_VML-LnqYLhLhzP5DoALtt/w150-h200/pregnant+pic.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><br />Regardless of what the future looks like moving forward, though, I want to be found faithful in loving, nurturing, and discipling these precious souls entrusted to us, pointing them to the Lover of their souls, who knows them and loves them even more deeply than I ever could. They belong to Him first and foremost, and I am honored to have the privilege of these years to invest in their lives and destinies!<div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix4Vj16xg_eF95cen3n8gxgrJ6NUp5qUiPhmbR4TzL-Z4txpCsiaatJPbkgmZpSs6Aka26M0VHINhjNDi7lSUawbSxVNz6sGVYafnfvDfXdJHm9ZGbBzUMH0ftnn76R7o9yU2tho0UAHzU/s1024/%25E2%2580%259CLet-the-little-children-come-to-me-and.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="1024" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix4Vj16xg_eF95cen3n8gxgrJ6NUp5qUiPhmbR4TzL-Z4txpCsiaatJPbkgmZpSs6Aka26M0VHINhjNDi7lSUawbSxVNz6sGVYafnfvDfXdJHm9ZGbBzUMH0ftnn76R7o9yU2tho0UAHzU/s320/%25E2%2580%259CLet-the-little-children-come-to-me-and.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i>*If you would like to read more about Benjamin's miraculous story, check out my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a></i></div><br /><div><br /><p> </p></div>Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-82544113184634261922021-01-30T12:28:00.002-08:002021-01-31T12:48:08.843-08:00The Writing on the Wall<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaBqZm1JeyZr6bzEGzidjEXSm1XX3ZrjzljoyxRxiMwS5kgEv-d41EJnj05u87fRoNu_H8YBWr_I4F3gIKIB2FBjk3gLXPnlCN1MIEOX_JnIqekfBE4sb5EjUQdYt9NIkDMeEXHVuD-Yl1/s400/faded-flag-email.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="267" data-original-width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaBqZm1JeyZr6bzEGzidjEXSm1XX3ZrjzljoyxRxiMwS5kgEv-d41EJnj05u87fRoNu_H8YBWr_I4F3gIKIB2FBjk3gLXPnlCN1MIEOX_JnIqekfBE4sb5EjUQdYt9NIkDMeEXHVuD-Yl1/s320/faded-flag-email.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p>Suffering--it's not a topic we like to discuss. We cringe to hear the word, and by nature we are prone to try and avoid it at all costs. Yet, as ones living in a fallen world, it is an inevitable part of every life to one degree or another. No matter how much we want to run away from suffering, it is sure to find us out multiple times as we journey through this life. This is the human condition. </p><p>As a young, married couple eagerly anticipating the birth of our first child, we could never have imaged the level of suffering we were about to walk through with our son's traumatic <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/02/unexpected-arrival.html">birth</a>, life-threatening health conditions, and diagnosis of Down syndrome. We never expected to be living in and out of hospitals for the first few months, or handing our tiny infant over to a surgical team for open heart <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/03/mended-heart.html">surgery</a>. The pain and suffering were real, and that season confronted some unconscious life expectations we unknowingly held--<i>"Something like that could never happen to us."</i> Yet happen it did, and we had a choice to make as to how we would respond to the unexpected suffering that had turned our idealistic world upside-down. We could have chosen to retreat into anger and bitterness, allowing it to fester until it poisoned our lives and relationships. We could have chosen to simply shut down emotionally, becoming mere shells of who we once were. OR, we could choose to give our pain to the Lord, inviting Him to heal our hearts, reveal more of Himself to us, and fashion us more into His likeness. I'm so thankful He protected us from staying on the first two paths but instead drew us close to His heart, teaching us to find <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/09/sighting-day.html">joy</a> in the pain. He is good! </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUjV-o6xktCFn2fUiep5ksymr4SDjNfg2yMeMxccfLbQO_wbM-nw230JlSRXMvsm3QoC_dZ9sc-mpWZGbhHs0T3i0HjzHYMT1cxHACGHJrbiwnKdzi-3YpAWfgThTN2y-BxKpho9Ag95sI/s2816/DSCN1400.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2112" data-original-width="2816" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUjV-o6xktCFn2fUiep5ksymr4SDjNfg2yMeMxccfLbQO_wbM-nw230JlSRXMvsm3QoC_dZ9sc-mpWZGbhHs0T3i0HjzHYMT1cxHACGHJrbiwnKdzi-3YpAWfgThTN2y-BxKpho9Ag95sI/w200-h150/DSCN1400.jpg" width="200" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhETpBrKcmG9tZJKseV3HOGXvHHWzg6y4b82akW1TTklCi4lcJuN7kt9-JQBjJ0FaDCTPCDG5RuGdSTVEJ6jjDfTAsSTjRwSyLDKziV7nhfKHzMHZweHpUI2K5VFA0GWYiST35KynEn5nhi/s960/M+and+B+2019.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhETpBrKcmG9tZJKseV3HOGXvHHWzg6y4b82akW1TTklCi4lcJuN7kt9-JQBjJ0FaDCTPCDG5RuGdSTVEJ6jjDfTAsSTjRwSyLDKziV7nhfKHzMHZweHpUI2K5VFA0GWYiST35KynEn5nhi/w150-h200/M+and+B+2019.jpg" width="150" /></a><br /><br /></div><p>Yes, we will all encounter suffering in our lives, but I want to focus our attention on a different type of suffering than those things that are simply common to the world in which we live. We have no doubt heard the stories of saints of the past who endured suffering and even martyrdom for the sake of Jesus Christ. Hopefully, we are aware of the incredible suffering Christians are experiencing around the world in our modern times. For many this is a daily reality. When they make a decision to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ, they are fully aware that they are placing EVERYTHING on the line, including their own lives. Yet the beautiful reality of the Gospel, the TRUTH that salvation is only found through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ for sinful humanity, compels them to risk it all for that which can never be taken from them. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBVndvD4EtDzXq_PxJgqb67qzcbfQ1Qdeq2SLEiP5ev3f4CfdF633NDn49tBzxAhG5jWGWqGxVHX1zcd3hkJblQDLJ7tDnbYTJubBv0XsDy87OuX3yjkxFBdDkAvdT3UxtPUHgMUsNApYC/s1334/Matthew+5.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1030" data-original-width="1334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBVndvD4EtDzXq_PxJgqb67qzcbfQ1Qdeq2SLEiP5ev3f4CfdF633NDn49tBzxAhG5jWGWqGxVHX1zcd3hkJblQDLJ7tDnbYTJubBv0XsDy87OuX3yjkxFBdDkAvdT3UxtPUHgMUsNApYC/s320/Matthew+5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>In the Western world, we have long been shielded from much suffering or persecution for the witness of the Gospel. America has long been considered a beacon of religious freedom, personal liberty, and freedom of speech. Yet we find ourselves now in an unprecedented hour in which these very freedoms are under attack. Sadly, many do not see it. Maybe they are unwilling to see it. After all, this is America! <i>"Something like that could never happen to us."</i> However, the handwriting is on the wall, and we ignore it to our own peril. The Body of Christ in America needs to wrestle through the reality that if we truly desire to live faithfully before the Lord without compromise; if we truly desire to stand firmly grounded on the truth of His Word, we must be prepared to endure suffering. It is at our door.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin0hEABTguElKTKMqdbaFlv-3yY0kBcJk-NWgiay7Rmxex426xY3-A4xZcHL4Zxfn65Rt0Nqep26izBvKjady4pnVcFlLc4pDt6T1czwWYydnHpl4VyQCwjp1RUbR5qMBhH2t48TdzvSby/s759/2-Timothy-24.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="506" data-original-width="759" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin0hEABTguElKTKMqdbaFlv-3yY0kBcJk-NWgiay7Rmxex426xY3-A4xZcHL4Zxfn65Rt0Nqep26izBvKjady4pnVcFlLc4pDt6T1czwWYydnHpl4VyQCwjp1RUbR5qMBhH2t48TdzvSby/s320/2-Timothy-24.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>For decades now, secular humanism, often referred to as progressive liberalism or "woke" culture, has been gaining inroads in pretty much every facet of our society. It is now entrenched in media, entertainment, education, Big Tech, government, corporate America, and sadly, even in the church through the increasingly popular trend of "Progressive Christianity." This worldview stands in stark contrast to a truly biblical worldview (a worldview that believes the Bible is the inerrant, authoritative Word of God which should be the plumb line of truth for every aspect of life). </p><p>Consider the trends we are seeing...The progressive left is constantly claiming to be for "unity," "diversity," "tolerance," and "love." Yet what are we witnessing? If one dares to stray from the acceptable "group think," if one does not adhere to the ideology of "woke" culture, they are under threat of the mob. Cancel culture has be exploding past any standards of reason or merit, demanding the destruction of those who dare to hold a different perspective. Dissenters must be intimidated, silenced, shamed, de-platformed, demonized, and delegitimized, so that they are prevented from speaking in the public square or operating within society. Instead of unity, the demand is for conformity. While diversity of race, sexuality, religion (except biblical Christianity), etc. are celebrated, diversity of thought and ideology is quickly condemned. There is absolutely no "tolerance" for those who do not bow the knee to their agenda. And while there is much talk of "love," we see increasing levels of hatred being spewed across the spectrum. </p><p>Now, I realize that these are blanket statements, and I want to clarify that I am not claiming that they accurately characterize the heart and mentality of every individual who has chosen the path of liberalism. I know many genuine people, who do their best to love others, regardless of beliefs, and who sincerely want the best for others. In the same vein, there are certainly people who identify as conservative who are hateful, demeaning, and intolerant of those who disagree with them. At the very root, the problem is sin in the heart of man, and the only true remedy is the transforming power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What I am addressing, however, are the <i>societal trends</i> we are witnessing right now in our nation. </p><p>Another alarming trend is the Critical Race Theory that has taken center stage, corralling every one into categories of the oppressor or the oppressed. Martin Luther King Junior's famous quote, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character," seems to be increasingly falling on deaf ears. If you are a white conservative, how quickly you may be labeled a "white supremacist," "racist," "sexist," "bigot," "Nazi," or whatever "phobic" the mob decides to pin on you. Black conservatives are often times labelled as "traitors," or "Uncle Tom's" for the sin of rejecting progressive liberalism. And while not all conservatives are Christians, many Christians are conservatives. We seem to be the biggest target. But should it really surprise us?</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbZunyVH0WXjAV8xXyPe8ng5jgJ__8Yet8KNlOZ0YioaSY5DKwZM4lqKcEjKG0QGadIqZiYe7zcwx5WXbTgul1-8djFWR7H8y0ndjAmm3CXp0_uv4f3Dv-2lnpyNqZYBHZEdtHtTNe7Ork/s895/John+15.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="784" data-original-width="895" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbZunyVH0WXjAV8xXyPe8ng5jgJ__8Yet8KNlOZ0YioaSY5DKwZM4lqKcEjKG0QGadIqZiYe7zcwx5WXbTgul1-8djFWR7H8y0ndjAmm3CXp0_uv4f3Dv-2lnpyNqZYBHZEdtHtTNe7Ork/w320-h280/John+15.png" width="320" /></a> <br /><br /></div><p></p><p>While the shocking events that unfolded at our Capitol on January 6 were completely wrong and without excuse, the tsunami of response in the wake of that event has in some ways been equally shocking and alarming. There will certainly be many unanswered questions and interpretations as to what truly unfolded on that day, possibly for years to come. However, two things should be clear: One, the VAST MAJORITY of the nation stands in condemnation of what transpired. Two, the unacceptable actions of a few (comparatively speaking considering the hundreds of thousands who truly came to peacefully assemble) is in NO WAY an accurate reflection of conservatives and/or Christians as a whole. Not even close. Yet this is the dangerous message being sent out to the nation ever since. We saw immediate and widespread censorship of, not only the sitting President of the United States, but also of multiple conservative voices across the social media world and the airwaves, and then the shocking destruction of alternative platforms through the partnership of Big Tech and Amazon. Freedom of speech is under unprecedented attack. </p><p>This recent <a href="https://www.afa.net/the-stand/culture/2021/01/hitler-s-censorship-and-propaganda-machine-invades-america/?fbclid=IwAR2lq1HPtdZRG7vmamN3CFeE5EqVleCVol3Rn70--OTWe5mxLXS3ZXmDlDw">article</a> highlights the dangerous trends we are witnessing and highlights many of the incendiary statements that have been made by leaders in government and media in recent days. The writer then summarize it all...</p><p><i>There you have it, in their own words, what they think of conservative Trump supporters. We are religious extremists, cultists, radicals, and domestic threats that need to be deprogrammed, deradicalized, and reeducated. Then if that doesn't work, we must be cut out like cancerous growths.</i></p><p>Or consider recent <a href="https://dailycitizen.focusonthefamily.com/cnns-jim-acosta-trump-supporters-conservative-news-an-existential-threat-to-this-country/?fbclid=IwAR33fY5JuBiB_WwxbPvCw0tn_oaQKbRqVY5GOASXAs_sdBE2Ae0zh74aUrg">statements</a> by CNN's Jim Acosta, claiming on national television that Trump supporters and conservative news outlets are an "existential threat to this country." These are just a few examples of the sudden push to paint conservatives and Christians as some sort in interior "threat" to the nation. Never mind the summer of widespread violence, destruction, and murder that was unleashed across our nation through BLM and Antifa. We could easily spend an entire blog post discussing the discrepancies here, but I'll simply say that the double standards are truly astounding. </p><p>As I stated earlier, the writing is on the wall, and we ignore it to our own peril. Those claiming to be "anti-fascists" are increasingly employing fascist strategies against any who would dare to oppose them. And regardless of how you may have felt about Donald Trump, the reality is that we now have a federal government that is by and large controlled by progressive liberal ideology. Many of the values and goals stand in stark contradiction to biblical truth, and they are being implemented at lightening speed through a flurry of executive orders. Legislation is in the works as well, such as the Equality Act, which will result in direct attacks on religious liberty, threatening the freedom of many to live by their biblical convictions. </p><p>The Bible tells us in Isaiah 5:20, "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." Can any born again follower of Jesus Christ deny that we are seeing this magnified in our day? Supporting the "right" to slaughter of innocent babies is "compassionate" while standing up against the bloodshed is "oppressive." Sexual immorality and perversion of all kinds is celebrated, while sexual purity and biblical marriage are scorned. Gender confusion abounds, and those who would dare to stand on biological reality are accused of "hate." Romans 1:22 comes to mind, "Claiming to be wise, they became fools."</p><p>We are at a crossroads in our history as a nation, and the true followers of Jesus Christ have a choice to make. Will we stand firm in our commitment to Jesus Christ and stand unapologetically on the authority of His Word, conforming our lives to His ways? Or will we allow ourselves to be intimidated into silence by an increasingly hostile culture and even government? Sadly many will probably follow the siren song of the Progressive Christianity <a href="https://www.impact360institute.org/articles/progressive-christianity-2/">movement</a>, which will comfortably allow them to embrace and be accepted by the culture of the day while still claiming to love Jesus and His Word. They will exchange the life-changing Gospel of Jesus Christ for the politically correct social justice "gospel." They will trade the authority of the life-giving Word of God, by which we are conform our lives and transform our minds, for the emotionally and fleshly appealing practice of re-interpreting, cherry-picking, and otherwise twisting the Bible to fit their preferred worldview. These are indeed dangerous times in which we live. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKCu7KrlkWmV_tPofDNTkWQH_QhWRQOxTgO7Mp7pTUUzEsQxG6GwZJreWOafaetjMIOhGsqsXZ35Rb_QmeOcX0EdADoOsVUEH_-efwoM7VfNhu_n38e51qtzGYfF5HR4VvA__gmS2AF5Bs/s300/matthew+24.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKCu7KrlkWmV_tPofDNTkWQH_QhWRQOxTgO7Mp7pTUUzEsQxG6GwZJreWOafaetjMIOhGsqsXZ35Rb_QmeOcX0EdADoOsVUEH_-efwoM7VfNhu_n38e51qtzGYfF5HR4VvA__gmS2AF5Bs/s0/matthew+24.jpg" /></a></div><p>However, for the Bride of Christ, those who have surrendered their lives to Jesus Christ and are committed to following Him faithfully no matter the cost, there is hope. We may be heading into tumultuous times, but the Lord Himself goes before us, and He will sustain us. As pressures mount, I believe glory will be released. As the world rages against Christ and His followers, I believe that the Gospel will go forth with power. I am praying that we see a great revival--a great ingathering of the precious souls Jesus shed His blood to redeem. We were chosen to be alive in this chapter of history, and God does not make mistakes. This world is passing away, and eternity is before us. Let's renew our commitment to "seek first His Kingdom and His righteous." Let's commit to pray with greater focus and purpose. Let's commit to worship and praise, no matter how dark things may get. Let's commit to love and serve, even the face of hostility. Let's commit to readily forgive, and not allow offense to take root in our hearts. Let's commit to boldly share the hope we carry with a lost and dying world. Let's commit to trust unwaveringly in the promises of God, no matter what it looks like around us, for our God is FAITHFUL. Let us rejoice if He should count us worthy to suffer for His Namesake as we "fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart," (Hebrews 12:2-3)</p><p>COME LORD JESUS! </p><p> </p><p> </p>Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-54338285906853762142020-11-27T10:32:00.000-08:002020-11-27T10:32:10.232-08:00Abortion Hurts Families--A Personal Story<p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLGy1KDMueLmau1ATsxG8A0ZZSc-rEHOrn_5pFRr91ofA8OkbTZIiUbYt0t5ka6uDlkcqVEmGnD6Dw2koWKmZ_KYLmfCzTh20nseBNaaBdlzGTlsksCEIN_wXgfNHBBBXb_ZjLCpkN55Um/s1280/broken+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLGy1KDMueLmau1ATsxG8A0ZZSc-rEHOrn_5pFRr91ofA8OkbTZIiUbYt0t5ka6uDlkcqVEmGnD6Dw2koWKmZ_KYLmfCzTh20nseBNaaBdlzGTlsksCEIN_wXgfNHBBBXb_ZjLCpkN55Um/s320/broken+heart.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">For those who know me or who have followed my writing
over the years, it should come as no surprise when I say that I am passionately
pro-life. I have not shied away from speaking and writing about this issue and
have always been crystal clear about where I stand. My deep convictions in this
regard stem from a few different roots that are all intertwined to make me who
I am today. At the very core, as a born-again Christian with deep love for my
Lord Jesus Christ, I believe that every life, born and unborn, is created in
the image of Almighty God and has intrinsic worth and value. I believe God’s
Word that says “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my
mother’s womb,” (Psalm 139:13). I believe God’s Word which instructs “You shall
not murder,” (Exodus 20:13) and that God hates “hands that shed innocent
blood,” (Proverbs 6:17). I cannot see abortion as anything other than the
intentional ending of an innocent life. In short, abortion is murder, and it is
morally wrong.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I am also the parent of a child with Down syndrome. My
heart breaks as I consider how many women choose to and/or are pressured to
abort their precious children with an extra chromosome. Some nations have even
boasted of nearly “eradicating” Down syndrome through this evil practice in
eugenics. It is my desire to demonstrate to others how very valuable every
child is, regardless of any disabilities or struggles they may have. Our sweet
Benjamin has been a source of much learning, growth, and joy in our lives, and
it is my privilege to be his mother! </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4zBicYin4CZgOFAibiFGm0D3eAeGuV5n_o_C8vKCqo8M-NcFScFjPfOWCm1DSzzm_X1djOpEDhMZOnKEdIvYRlYRoCMXv5g6gvtmT1OgbC0qKU2A3ZqfqzlfEmh92kh0IpfoM7RZQOKkp/s3098/IMG_7347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2357" data-original-width="3098" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4zBicYin4CZgOFAibiFGm0D3eAeGuV5n_o_C8vKCqo8M-NcFScFjPfOWCm1DSzzm_X1djOpEDhMZOnKEdIvYRlYRoCMXv5g6gvtmT1OgbC0qKU2A3ZqfqzlfEmh92kh0IpfoM7RZQOKkp/w200-h152/IMG_7347.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">What I have not shared up to this point is that there
is another very personal reason I am passionately pro-life. This reason is very
deep, at times very raw, and certainly very real. I have not had the liberty to
write openly about this until now, though it’s been burning inside of me for
years. The burden I carry is one that I believe countless others carry as well,
though it seems there are few stories to be found. I carry the grief and pain
of having lost a sibling to abortion. And now it’s time to tell my story…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I grew up as the oldest of two, with one younger
brother. Whenever I saw families with sisters, there was always a sense of
longing inside of me. Though I wouldn’t have even known how to give voice to it
at the time, there was always a part of me that felt like I “should” have a
sister—as though she was “missing” somehow. My parents were divorced when I was
eight years old, but the longing within remained. I even unknowingly
embarrassed my single mom at a Sunday evening church service when I was ten
years old. Christmas was just around the corner, and our pastor asked the small
group gathered what we would ask for if we could have anything we wanted.
Without considering any logistics or ramifications, I shot my hand up and
wholeheartedly declared, “A sister!” I was perplexed by the laughter that
followed and the red blush that crept up my mother’s face! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It would be a few years later, at age thirteen, that I
would learn a dark secret—one that would shock, rattle, and confuse me—one from
which the full weight of impact would not hit me until my young adult years.
With a heavy countenance and pain-filled voice, my mom disclosed to me that I
was not actually her first baby. As a teenager only a few years older than
myself, she had been taken advantage of by an older boyfriend and over the
course of time ended up pregnant. When my grandma found out, she only offered
one course of action—abortion. It was 1970, and abortion was only legal in a
few states, New York being one. They took a snowy flight to this destination a
few days before Thanksgiving, where a Planned Parenthood completed the bloody
deed. She estimates that she would have been 14-15 weeks gestation at the time.
In only a few short years, the nation’s doors would be swung open to the mass,
legalized bloodshed of the innocent that continues to plague our nation to this
day. My mom and my unborn sibling were some of the early victims of this
monstrosity, and the effects for her have been lifelong (more on that
later).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As a thirteen-year-old, I didn’t really know how to
process what she was telling me. I was only mildly familiar with what abortion
even entailed—I certainly didn’t know the gruesome reality of the procedures. But
I was left feeling hurt, angry, and confused. Why did my grandma do what she
did? Why didn’t she want her grandbaby? Why didn’t my mom try to stop it? How
was I to process that I could have had an older sibling? After the initial
shock, however, I buried the issue deep inside, and it would be years before it
would surface again. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Fast forward to December 31, 2004. I was twenty-two
years old and had just graduated from Oklahoma Wesleyan University that spring.
Shawn and I were in a serious dating relationship, though not yet engaged. We
had recently been introduced to the International House of Prayer in Kansas
City, MO, where they have literally held unbroken day and night worship and
prayer since 1999. They were hosting their annual One Thing Conference—a
gathering especially targeting young adults with a call to make knowing Jesus
the center of their lives and to usher in the New Year with teaching, worship,
and prayer. We carpooled with a group of friends to attend the event. That
weekend was lifechanging and a turning point for me in many ways, but I want to
focus on one particular incident that truly rocked my world. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">On the last day of the conference, Lou Engle got up to
speak and to lead in a time of intercession for the ending of abortion in
America. I was not familiar with him before this time, but he is truly a father
in the prayer movement, having founded The Call, which drew large gatherings of
solemn assemblies for prayer and fasting all across the nation. For the last
twenty years he has also carried what he believes is a divine mandate to raise
of a generation of intercessors who will fast and pray for the ending of
abortion in America. As he spoke, his overwhelming passion and conviction for
this issue were provoking, convicting, and deeply inspiring. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As we moved into a time of prayer following his
message, I felt a deep impression to pray for women whose wombs had been
damaged during abortions, resulting in future infertility. I prayed that God
would not only heal their hearts but would heal their bodies, making their
wombs functional again. I prayed that justice and redemption for the loss of
their aborted babies’ lives would come through future children born to them who
would carry the justice cry of heaven concerning this shedding of innocent
blood and would be used in their generation to be a voice for the voiceless. As
I prayed, I felt the Holy Spirit speak to my heart as clear as day, “You are
one of those babies!” I. Was. Stunned. I immediately began to weep, completely
overwhelmed. I know that thought did not originate from me. It was nowhere on
my screen. How could it be that my own birth and life could be part of an
answer to a prayer I was now praying? Something deep had taken place inside of
me, and I knew that I could never be silent or apathetic about this issue
again! <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I’m really stepping out on a limb even sharing that
particular piece of my story. It is so deep, and so precious to me that I don’t
want to treat it lightly, and hesitated putting it out there for all to see, knowing
the potential misunderstandings and criticisms that could come as a result.
However, this story has been burning in me for so long. I feel like it’s time
to get it out. All of it. Lord, use this as You will.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Shawn and I were married at the end of 2005, and in
2007 we both were hired to work at The Salvation Army (TSA), following Shawn’s
graduation. I worked there until 2009 when our first child was born. During the
two years at TSA, Shawn and I participated in and spearheaded multiple prayer
initiatives. We also had permission from our supervisor to use the chapel after
hours whenever we wanted to come to pray. One particular evening as we were
praying there together, we focused our intercession on the issue of abortion.
Without warning, deep sobs erupted from the core of my being. At the time we
were struggling with infertility, and longing for a baby of our own. As I wept
over all the precious babies whose lives were being ripped apart, it suddenly
became really real to me for the first time that I had truly lost a sibling. It
was my first experience of grieving for the relationship that was lost. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Now that I’ve really opened the door of vulnerability,
I’m going to take it deeper. Fast forward to April 5, 2012. It was Good Friday,
and I was standing in the Dallas Convention Center with over 4,000 other women
for the Esther Call. Once again, I was directly impacted by Lou Engle’s
ministry, as he had spearheaded this one day gathering of fasting and prayer
for women to cry out to the Lord for the ending of abortion in our land. It was
named the Esther Call after Queen Esther from the Bible, who petitioned the king
to reverse the evil death decree against her people the Jews. In the same way
we were petitioning the King of Kings to bring revival to our land and reverse
the death decree of legalized abortion. Leading up to this powerful gathering
was the 21 day Back to Life Prayer Walk. Beginning in Houston at the largest
Planned Parenthood facility in the nation, 39 women, representing 39 years (at
the time) of legalized abortion walked 250 miles to Dallas, the “birthplace” of
Roe v. Wade. They called it the “Women’s Trail of Tears.” As they walked, they
were interviewed about their personal stories and why they chose to walk for
the ending of abortion. Some were post-abortive women, living with the grief
and pain over their decision to end their child’s life. Some were abortion
survivors. Some, like me, had lost siblings through abortion. Their stories
were powerful.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIJWCZFBuAdGdKDgkaoBB8ieBZuXZzDQRQB0keoavYVMfgufEVtdBIlwEMB0p9f14dTIDbV0We4Zec6UAH9GjrDjtabIUht0QPzcPCHSKUDq78tYMnqoutuNNEL7FhVHSWshsrX2Q8oeVq/s960/Esther+Call.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="717" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIJWCZFBuAdGdKDgkaoBB8ieBZuXZzDQRQB0keoavYVMfgufEVtdBIlwEMB0p9f14dTIDbV0We4Zec6UAH9GjrDjtabIUht0QPzcPCHSKUDq78tYMnqoutuNNEL7FhVHSWshsrX2Q8oeVq/s320/Esther+Call.jpg" /></a></div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Over the course of the day I heard testimonies that
hit a deep place within me. Stories of men, women, and children who always felt
like someone was “missing” from their family, only to later learn that their
sibling had been aborted. The grief, pain, and loss are real, but these stories
are rarely heard. I finally understood the gaping hole I had felt as a child
with my longing for a sister. Another woman shared about an experience she had,
either a dream or a vision (I can’t remember), in which she saw a multitude of
babies in heaven who had been aborted. They were holding mantles, representing
the purpose and destiny that was supposed to mark their lives but were never
given a chance. In this experience, she saw the babies throwing the mantles
down to earth and asking the Lord that someone would pick them up and carry
them. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This really resonated within me. I began to pray that
God would redeem the destiny of my lost sibling in my life. I had no idea what
that would really mean, but the prayer came from deep inside. I also asked the
Lord if my aborted sibling was a boy or a girl, and I felt Him speak to my
heart as clear as day that the baby was a girl, only reinforcing to me why I
had always longed for a sister. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">At one point we were also encouraged to declare out
loud with one voice that “Children are a blessing from the Lord!” I joined in
with this declaration with wholehearted fervor and a deep ache inside. At the
time we only had Benjamin, and I already mentioned that I had struggled with
infertility prior to his conception. We had been praying for a second child for
nearly two years, and the longing at times was overwhelming. Little did I know
that less than a year later our beautiful daughter Joelle would be born. Josiah
would follow in 2015 and Ava Rose in 2018. The Lord has blessed us indeed!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSiV-8OKPDyEHLh6yNud7fmPk1MSjK6R71az1gclXHeRGxq4IxORfPlkrwTjsQA4xyjBbcXYB27cpcDPIktJnh6CX-wI3OV4NjfQoAaHvVPdAfROyJuODOyEQFrD-LZ7UciR2YTadVwNP/s3092/IMG_7333.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3092" data-original-width="2412" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSiV-8OKPDyEHLh6yNud7fmPk1MSjK6R71az1gclXHeRGxq4IxORfPlkrwTjsQA4xyjBbcXYB27cpcDPIktJnh6CX-wI3OV4NjfQoAaHvVPdAfROyJuODOyEQFrD-LZ7UciR2YTadVwNP/s320/IMG_7333.jpg" /></a></div><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I returned home from the Esther Call, feeling very
glad that I had attended, but at the same time strangely numb. However, that
would soon change. On the morning of Easter Sunday, I was getting ready for
church and pondering the recent gathering. I considered the confirmation the
Lord gave me about losing a sister. I considered that my mom had always known
she wanted to name her first daughter “Dana.” She had told me that if she had
ever had a second daughter, she would have named her “Charlotte.” I felt like a
ton of bricks hit me as I realized that my aborted sister would have been Dana,
and I would have been Charlotte. It may sound strange, but I almost began to
feel somewhat of an identity crisis in that moment. It also felt so incredibly
unfair that I had been given the gift of life while she had been deprived of hers.
Suddenly a DEEP well of grief opened up from inside, and the tears flowed for
the rest of the day. I was part of the worship team at our small church at the
time, and I could hardly sing through my tears and pain. Later in the day I was
literally curled up on our bed sobbing and wailing with grief. It caught Shawn
completely off guard, and he wasn’t sure how to best help me or to respond. It
caught me off guard as well. I had never grieved in such a deep way before. It
felt like the years of a lifetime of loss were all surfacing at once, and it
was suffocating! Before the evening was out, I had written a poem to my sister.
I have been very vulnerable with everything I have shared thus far, but I’m not
ready to be that vulnerable. I don’t know if I will ever share what was written
that day or not, but it was what I needed to do at the time. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When I considered our names that morning, I looked up
the meaning of “Charlotte” in a baby name book. One meaning was “little woman.”
One of the meanings for “Dana” is “bright as day.” As I grieved and processed,
I felt the Lord comforting my heart that I’m not simply a “little woman,” but
one who has been called to shine as “bright as day” for Him and for His
Kingdom. I knew that part of how I could honor my sister and help to protect
other women from the pain my mom experienced, would be to take an unapologetic
stand for life and continue as a voice for the voiceless. I could also do so by
welcoming all the children the Lord would be pleased to bless me with and model
to others the beauty and value of motherhood. As the years have passed, this
fire within me has not dwindled, but continued to burn stronger and hotter. I
will continue to cherish my children and the gift of motherhood as I pray for
the sanctity of life to be highly valued in our nation and the scourge of death
to be ended. I will continue to pray for post-abortive women to finding healing
and wholeness in Jesus Christ and have the courage to share their stories with
the world. I will rejoice in the fact that I will get to meet my sister one day
in eternity. What a beautiful reunion that will be!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">*As mentioned at the beginning of this post, this is a
story I have waited long to tell, but in honor of my mother, I knew it had to
be when she was ready. This week marks the 50-year anniversary of her abortion.
She has lived with decades of grief and regret. She experienced physical damage
from her abortion that nearly caused her to miscarry my brother. The emotional
wounds, however, have been deep and lifelong. This year she had the courage to
share her experience in her own words on her personal blog. I am including a
link to her written story (much shorter than mine), and I encourage you to read
it <a href="https://jan-randomlyspeaking.blogspot.com/2020/11/fifty-years-later.html?spref=fb&fbclid=IwAR0Zge83liUzvqGCCEYF_V8CpuBii5_K8hc3ckcUELPWVgoWzyovyYiMVd0">here.</a> I love you, Mom! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDlQiN3us-eOb41bWTMSSwNEp9XkqLCtWgrzl-EJzOi4-nGNd6rX8aHCHlOQ_p59FtjKqxeRU6t8o1b2thbhFOXF7zZSFrXelDkzt3BEC2mKt06WP1RKBD6BbwlrPv6qaeD4eS1HK534Ge/s960/the+girls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDlQiN3us-eOb41bWTMSSwNEp9XkqLCtWgrzl-EJzOi4-nGNd6rX8aHCHlOQ_p59FtjKqxeRU6t8o1b2thbhFOXF7zZSFrXelDkzt3BEC2mKt06WP1RKBD6BbwlrPv6qaeD4eS1HK534Ge/s320/the+girls.jpg" /></a></div><br /><o:p></o:p><p></p>Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-37554091583796073312020-10-03T12:28:00.000-07:002020-10-03T12:28:56.849-07:00The Moral Argument<p>October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month--a month to celebrate the lives and stories of individuals with Down syndrome and the beauty of each one. Our sweet son Benjamin is no exception. He has brought joy to our family and to the lives of so many others who know him, and I am proud to call him my son! </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxP4oeNFospxf4YDUNjMkaQp3v0HUxCYHaezJ0QBI6OyN3Gffo8INhqLzjqW0fFGMw3u0h05UII6rVT5qGqkCjijhXJLOBdlkZnnIIRafQUJ-6q_BYtPdqFy6nIaJPcqLu2izmpNWnZU45/s960/Benjamin+2020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxP4oeNFospxf4YDUNjMkaQp3v0HUxCYHaezJ0QBI6OyN3Gffo8INhqLzjqW0fFGMw3u0h05UII6rVT5qGqkCjijhXJLOBdlkZnnIIRafQUJ-6q_BYtPdqFy6nIaJPcqLu2izmpNWnZU45/s320/Benjamin+2020.jpg" /></a></div><p>I will, however, be taking this blog post in a rather unexpected direction today, as something has been weighing heavily on my heart. While this is a month to celebrate the LIVES of people with Down syndrome, the heartbreaking reality is that many of these precious lives were never even given the chance to live. According to an <a href="https://www.tennessean.com/story/opinion/columnists/2020/07/08/abortion-debate-down-syndrome-fetal-heartbill-tennessee/5368918002/">article</a> by The Tennessean, "The best calculations suggest that 67% of US pregnancies where it is suggested that the baby would be born with Down syndrome end in abortion." The seeming prevalence of Down syndrome related abortions has even led some states to seek passage of legislation that would prohibit abortions solely based on a pre-natal diagnosis of Down syndrome. Of course many cry "foul" at such laws, claiming they unfairly limit a woman's "right" to an abortion. Others say (rightfully so) that it is a form of discrimination to end the life of a child through abortion simply because they have a disability. Yet let's take a moment to consider what legislation like this is really saying...</p><p>If it is discrimination to abort a child due to a disability, then clearly that child is a PERSON who has rights and is deserving of protection. This immediately blasts a hole in the entire abortion debate. If it is wrong to end the life of a pre-born baby due to a disability, then WHY ON EARTH would it be okay to end the life of a pre-born baby who does not have a disability? The baby in the womb cannot be considered a person in only select circumstances but not in others for convenience sake. Human beings give birth to human beings. The baby inside the womb is just as human as the baby outside the womb. Abortion ends a human life. Abortion. Is. Murder.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Go4rdZMXVRXzvro9TSNCZLSSBmtMvFicX7EXmWuC4EY84fBx-zBqpaQ1h-MmapvF7Fya7yXOM173-KRdUmRreSKLlPnYjO4VjYPrlu3eW4TjtO7qTEGBH0uYaA0MxaN02KXHwMEddZN1/s236/Ds+abortion+quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="214" data-original-width="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Go4rdZMXVRXzvro9TSNCZLSSBmtMvFicX7EXmWuC4EY84fBx-zBqpaQ1h-MmapvF7Fya7yXOM173-KRdUmRreSKLlPnYjO4VjYPrlu3eW4TjtO7qTEGBH0uYaA0MxaN02KXHwMEddZN1/s0/Ds+abortion+quote.jpg" /></a></div><p>This brings me to my next point. In addition to all the euphemisms about it being "the woman's body" and "the woman's choice," one of the most trumpeted arguments favoring abortion is "Well, you can't legislate morality." Is that so? Well how is it then that we have any laws? By their very nature, laws are more often than not the legislation of morality. We have laws that prohibit theft, rape, murder, fraud, domestic violence, child abuse, etc. All of these are moral issues, and we rightly have a system of laws in place to seek to protect against such behaviors. When these laws are violated, consequences are to follow. Without the legislation of morality we would live in frightening anarchy. </p><p>On a side note, many of the laws we have are rooted (whether intentionally or not) in the wisdom of the 10 Commandments found in scripture. I believe that much of the breakdown we have seen in our society in recent generations has been because we have moved further and further away from God's commandments, which are not meant to be a hindrance but a protection. For example, how much heartache would be avoided in the lives of countless families and individuals if we followed the wisdom of God's law to not commit adultery? </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIk5GYbIH4cruSv-VuXUlQWgMbgoAjGXSUsh7B10vI7uoROd4RAs5f-JkKuIlGtOTYpx07MOXP83tBo8RE2Wnv7U94fMRnMuVg_f-xOa51QvEFe-Aos3waslQRCab8WtbaYNetQ30cU9c8/s850/mother+theresa+quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="850" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIk5GYbIH4cruSv-VuXUlQWgMbgoAjGXSUsh7B10vI7uoROd4RAs5f-JkKuIlGtOTYpx07MOXP83tBo8RE2Wnv7U94fMRnMuVg_f-xOa51QvEFe-Aos3waslQRCab8WtbaYNetQ30cU9c8/s320/mother+theresa+quote.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Since the Garden of Eden, Satan has been waging war against women and against her seed. All throughout human history he has sought to destroy the fruit of the womb. When the ancient Israelites were enslaved in Egypt, Satan worked through Pharaoh with the evil decree to throw all the newborn Hebrew baby boys into the Nile River. After taking possession of the Promised Land, Israel would later come under God's judgement for their adoption of the wicked pagan practices of the nations around them--one of the most horrific being child sacrifice. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>"You shall not worship the Lord your God that way; for every abomination to the Lord which He hates they have done to their gods; for they even burn their sons and daughters in the fire to their gods."</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Deuteronomy 12:31</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>"But they mingled with the Gentiles and learned their works; they served their idols which became a snare to them. They even sacrificed their sons and daughters to demons, and shed innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters, whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan; and the land was polluted with blood."</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Psalm 106:35-38</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In the New Testament we see King Herod issue the death decree against every male child two years old and under in his demonic attempt to kill the baby Jesus. History itself is littered with horrific human rights abuses and genocide, including infants and children. Over 61 MILLION babies have been aborted in the US since the fateful passage of Roe vs. Wade in 1973. Are we any less barbaric than the ancient pagan practices of child sacrifice? Living babies are violently suctioned, ripped apart piece by piece, poisoned, and chemically burned in our various methods of "women's healthcare." Satan has destroyed generations through our legalized murder as the world triumphantly cheers that we are "empowering women." God have mercy on us!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Another widespread argument used to justify legalized abortion is that if we do abolish it, women will still seek abortion and many will die from "back alley" abortions and unsanitary conditions. The premise of this argument has already been refuted (see <a href="https://www.lifesitenews.com/pulse/debunking-the-myth-of-back-alley-abortions">here</a> ). Also, though it often goes unreported, women still die from complications related to "safe and legal" abortions. Still the logic goes, "If women are going to do it anyway, we better make it legal so we can make it safer." Let's dig a little deeper into this rationale... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am going to lay out a perfectly OUTRAGEOUS idea with the hopes of illustrating just how ridiculous this argument really is. Rape is against the law. Rape is violence against another human being. Rape results in mental, emotional and physical harm to the victim. Rape can result in unwanted pregnancy. Rape is against the law, yet we all know that evil individuals will still rape and women will still be hurt. So, in order to better protect women should we set up legalized "rape centers?" Should there be places where assailants could take birth control measures and women would have immediate access to physical and mental healthcare following an assault? Of course we don't want anyone to be raped, but since we know it's going to happen regardless, shouldn't we provide some legal "safety nets" to limit the damage done? Would this cause rape numbers to go down or only further incentivize the brutality? I fully realize how absolutely PREPOSTEROUS this analogy is, but is it really any less unconscionable that we think it's necessary to make the widespread murder of innocent babies legal as a "safeguard" to protect women? (On another side note, allowing abortion in the case of rape is not the answer. Sentencing an innocent child to death for the sin of the father is horrific and the violence and trauma of abortion often only ADDS to the woman's mental/emotional and even physical harm).</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Legalizing the murder of babies will only lead to more widespread murder of babies--over 61 MILLION! Instead of funding abortion, why not channel resources into pregnancy care centers, adoption agencies, etc.? Don't pit the mother against the baby. Love them BOTH. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwdHOulVOdQd66Cfkx1t0fdkDnJVnXe0Sz06ZPeCKm_OzObxX8g4AFFJAB5bAP6GaO045T_0rfgCjOs752Qt2NmQJM9CVgHEf7ztr72nExQVkNKaoG8eSnxDZN7cLrVgSK2_qkChv441Xd/s271/love+them+both.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="186" data-original-width="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwdHOulVOdQd66Cfkx1t0fdkDnJVnXe0Sz06ZPeCKm_OzObxX8g4AFFJAB5bAP6GaO045T_0rfgCjOs752Qt2NmQJM9CVgHEf7ztr72nExQVkNKaoG8eSnxDZN7cLrVgSK2_qkChv441Xd/s0/love+them+both.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div>Finally, many prefer to go the route of neutrality, claiming "I'm personally against abortion, but who am I to tell someone else what they can or cannot do?" To those I would ask, "Do you believe abortion ends the life of a human being?" If your answer is no, then you are choosing euphemism over reality and turning a blind eye to basic biology. If your answer is yes--if abortion ends the life of another human being--how can you be possibly be neutral? That would be akin to saying, "I'm personally against child abuse, or pedophilia, or human trafficking..." You get the point. How does history view those who were neutral and/or accepting of the great travesties of their time? What about those who remained silent about the horrors of slavery in America's earlier days? What about those who remained silent during the Holocaust that claimed the lives of at least 6 million Jews? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We are at 61 MILLION BABIES and counting as the silent slaughter continues day after day and year after year. Don't tell me we cannot legislate morality. How will future generations look back on our hard-hearted apathy. LIFE. IS. PRECIOUS. Regardless of the circumstance. Regardless of the chromosome count. Regardless...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Don't stand on the sidelines of history. Let your voice be heard. Stand up for life. Cherish life. Vote for life. Future generations are counting on us...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2tVclPnvgrM2qHgGUQmL66ANrRcJh2laTXJn6ppk1cI7cLgxuccR7HJwtNGflQ8mAlktgBPOWxs-VXnDWl0hxY2sdiabhWRn7rkLQHzumgHjFcpW1uCIGXFGVAry5YOaRj8MTXEt6DOQf/s850/silence+in+the+face+of+evil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="850" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2tVclPnvgrM2qHgGUQmL66ANrRcJh2laTXJn6ppk1cI7cLgxuccR7HJwtNGflQ8mAlktgBPOWxs-VXnDWl0hxY2sdiabhWRn7rkLQHzumgHjFcpW1uCIGXFGVAry5YOaRj8MTXEt6DOQf/s320/silence+in+the+face+of+evil.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><br /> <p></p>Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-31098409465724388152020-08-09T13:09:00.004-07:002020-08-09T13:09:51.142-07:00Why I am Voting for Donald Trump<p>I cannot believe how much time has gone by since I last posted a blog--lots of change and transition in our lives and so much happening around the nation that most could not have fathomed 6 months ago! At some point I hope to get back on here and give some family-related updates, but that will have to wait for another day. While the ultimate purpose of this blog has never been to be political, I had some thoughts that I felt the need to get out, and this is the best platform I have to do so at this time....</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg06C2jlsjmLBspzw5vWQsksnYk9NGqhcxx6lmQ3Kf8U0DaTjrF11-zBTeNmlpKdFc0R1i1Wzp1i63eswGVqQ69RS-xcbMvpJllpicND4TJa05OmMLUKB3VMy1jBhJBM0me5yHiNiHO233g/s696/FS_American_Flag.png" imageanchor="1" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="392" data-original-width="696" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg06C2jlsjmLBspzw5vWQsksnYk9NGqhcxx6lmQ3Kf8U0DaTjrF11-zBTeNmlpKdFc0R1i1Wzp1i63eswGVqQ69RS-xcbMvpJllpicND4TJa05OmMLUKB3VMy1jBhJBM0me5yHiNiHO233g/w410-h230/FS_American_Flag.png" width="410" /></a></div><p>I realize that the very title of this post will rub some people the wrong way. We are living in a time of great division on many levels, and people hold very strong convictions/opinions on “both sides of the aisle,” so to speak. My purpose in writing this is to share clearly and thoughtfully why I hold the convictions I do in regard to the upcoming election. </p><p>A few disclaimers first: There are people I love and respect who hold different political views than me. I do not believe that God belongs to a political party. He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I believe that both parties have many flaws, and there has definitely been corruption in both. I recognize that both candidates have flaws and areas of questionable/inappropriate conduct. My support of Donald Trump does not mean that I agree with or justify everything he says or does. The reality is, there will never be flawless leaders or governments anywhere on the earth until Jesus Christ returns. His leadership is the only perfect leadership. He is my Hope. He is my Savior. That being said, God has given us a stewardship on this earth, and I believe that as a Christian I will be held accountable for how I choose to vote. I cannot base my decisions on cultural mindsets (which are increasingly steeped in humanism/secularism) but on the Bible. The long-term ramifications for this election will affect things in our nation for long after either candidate’s presidency has ended. From a biblical perspective, I cannot in good conscience support the present platform and trajectory of the Democratic Party. I have multiple reasons for this, but I want to highlight the three most significant ones for me. </p><p><b>1. Abortion </b></p><p>“Their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed innocent blood; their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; wasting and destruction are in their paths,” (Isaiah 59:7). The Bible is clear that God hates the shedding of innocent blood (Proverbs 6:17). Over 60 million babies have been slaughtered in the womb since Roe v. Wade was passed, and the numbers keep climbing. For instance, in New York City a black woman is more likely to abort her baby than birth her baby. This is the same Democratic run city that chose to light up the WTC in pink to celebrate the passage of abortion legislation that removed virtually all restrictions on abortion up until the moment of birth. They literally cheered. Think about it…They <i>celebrated</i> greater “freedom” to kill babies, not to mention the mental, emotional, and often physical harm many post-abortive women suffer. </p><p>By and large, the current Democratic Party is championing abortion on demand, for any reason, up to the moment of birth. They are also adamant about continued tax payer support for Planned Parenthood, the largest abortion provider in the nation that has been caught harvesting and selling the body parts of aborted babies and has been complicit in the cover-ups of minors who are being sex-trafficked. Many times, I have heard arguments to under-cut the abortion debate through “what-about-isms” in which multiple other human rights issues are presented. I recognize that there are other serious, human rights issues in our culture that are important and in need of attention. However, I believe that abortion is the greatest human rights issue of our time and the greatest sin of our nation. There is NO OTHER demographic of people in our society who are being brutally murdered by the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS every year. It must come to an end. Donald Trump has shown more support for the pro-life movement in both word and policy than any other president in modern history. In stark contrast Joe Biden (endorsed by both Planned Parenthood and NARAL) has called abortion “essential healthcare” and vowed to “codify Roe v. Wade,” promising his support of abortion “under any circumstance.” Abortion MURDERS children. I cannot support those who support this. </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmThTa6u6EVNGwxw1ukIXQ7nO7aG_haYsrGt7sXiP3GWOMTdEanKuXcbpz7VSzSADWmF4iSMCtb5bcI0aoQyQVxkMsnDRTRcMBw97mVAxHxAncpYLcvcoh5-Ie4IJQ4R9s1ItpIQhp7rDk/s629/abortion+kills+children.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="629" data-original-width="629" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmThTa6u6EVNGwxw1ukIXQ7nO7aG_haYsrGt7sXiP3GWOMTdEanKuXcbpz7VSzSADWmF4iSMCtb5bcI0aoQyQVxkMsnDRTRcMBw97mVAxHxAncpYLcvcoh5-Ie4IJQ4R9s1ItpIQhp7rDk/w206-h206/abortion+kills+children.jpg" width="206" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"> <b style="text-align: left;">2. Marriage/Family</b><span style="text-align: left;"> </span></div><p></p><p>“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it…” (Genesis 1:27-28) From the dawn of time God created two distinct genders and ordained the sacred union of marriage between one man and one woman with the purpose of producing children, whom He calls a gift and a reward (Psalm 127:3). The marriage union itself is a prophetic picture of Jesus’ love for His Bride, the church. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,” (Ephesians 5:25). Much of the turmoil we have in our society is related to the breakdown of the nuclear family as God intended. We have de-valued both marriage and children, which has led us to an “anything goes” mentality. Our culture’s attempts to “re-define marriage” are a mockery and an affront to God’s prescribed wisdom and ways. </p><p>Jesus dearly and deeply loves all people, including those who are living in a homosexual lifestyle. However, His love does not condone sin--not my sin, not your sin, not anyone’s sin. His love calls us to REPENTANCE from sin and a turning back to His ways. When we stray from His ways, there will always be destruction left in the wake, and we are keenly seeing it in our nation with ever increasing immorality, confusion, perversion, and broken families. </p><p>The Democratic Party leaders have been front-runners in promoting and celebrating the re-defining of marriage and even the re-defining of genders, which is already taking a toll on religious freedom across the nation. Much of the legislation they desire to pass (and that Joe Biden said would be his first legislative priority) would gut religious freedom protections even further. Regardless of how anyone perceives his spiritual life, Donald Trump has been an advocate for preserving religious freedom in our nation. I want these protections to continue for my children and grandchildren. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFM5fH8kSDLQNb7FQojaeE8TnQ0p4xzY-pc6v5rCgN3u5-yo3LPmuGkkkmskyZWHquPLIPtZVc7mj3vRAW4rIjeWeSLD2pRJkym2wsZCccC_RuLpHu8pSgTX6Vpb05Fn_RunT7G22SljHx/s960/big-family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="960" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFM5fH8kSDLQNb7FQojaeE8TnQ0p4xzY-pc6v5rCgN3u5-yo3LPmuGkkkmskyZWHquPLIPtZVc7mj3vRAW4rIjeWeSLD2pRJkym2wsZCccC_RuLpHu8pSgTX6Vpb05Fn_RunT7G22SljHx/w328-h219/big-family.jpg" width="328" /></a></div><p><b>3. Support of Israel </b></p><p>“I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed,” (Genesis 12:2-3). This was God’s promise to Abraham, the father of the nation of Israel. God ordained Israel to be His chosen people—the people through whom He would send the Messiah, Jesus Christ, who offers eternal salvation to all mankind if they will place their trust in Him and submit to His Lordship. God’s promise still stands. He has not forgotten the nation of Israel. When Jesus returns again He will set up His Millennial Reign from Jerusalem. It is my firm belief, rooted in scripture, that we cannot be rightly aligned with God if we stand against Israel. Donald Trump has shown great courage in his support for Israel, moving the embassy to Jerusalem—a promise which our nation promised long ago but never followed through with until now. I am thankful for the President’s bold stance. Within the Democratic Party, there has been a growing trend of anti-Israel sentiment, and while this may not characterize the party as a whole, it does raise concerns.</p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkCjIpMQMRSUFYmRKaBdekrWFvxRQixAjQs6IbzM7a5XQySm3ck1U532-Y-J0NaYw5GSU4RipD4Vjwv8X6byD1LtSHTceqT2j_ENmF5788a3mN_myC-7zNuLHD5fgYWNxeUWmClxoPAenA/s1200/stand+with+Israel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="627" data-original-width="1200" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkCjIpMQMRSUFYmRKaBdekrWFvxRQixAjQs6IbzM7a5XQySm3ck1U532-Y-J0NaYw5GSU4RipD4Vjwv8X6byD1LtSHTceqT2j_ENmF5788a3mN_myC-7zNuLHD5fgYWNxeUWmClxoPAenA/w328-h171/stand+with+Israel.jpg" width="328" /> </a></div><p></p><p>These three, pivotal points are the main guiding factors in how I choose to cast my vote in any election. However, I believe that this coming election may perhaps be the most consequential one of my life time thus far. I am increasingly alarmed by the Democratic Party’s push towards Socialism and Marxist ideologies. History has proven time and time again that the descent into Socialism and ultimately Communism, brings forth horrific oppression, suffering, poverty, and destruction. Millions of lives have been snuffed out in decades past (and the bloodshed continues today) in nations where this ideology has taken over. In every place this has been implemented, Christians have been persecuted. We are watching some very dangerous trends unfold in our nation at present, and I pray that America does not continue down this road. I pray that my precious children and future grandchildren will still be able to live in a nation that truly upholds freedom. I will pray for our nation. I will pray for our leaders. I will vote according to my biblical convictions in November. And above all, I will pray that God sends revival once again to America, turning the heart of our nation to Him and His ways that we can truly become “One Nation, Under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All!” </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIFxEyter6HK2A27lqU1iTJTzReghJV2nGeXXXKSnLTw6fjOQ_EjELUap0dfmx7KMy2_N56Wg_e4RMtQd7gfOsniSlnzChyPBBFSzZlkDQ1mR4OzWurxcly9LmoaR2UUmHFBMXPOFBARp5/s720/pray+for+America.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="622" data-original-width="720" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIFxEyter6HK2A27lqU1iTJTzReghJV2nGeXXXKSnLTw6fjOQ_EjELUap0dfmx7KMy2_N56Wg_e4RMtQd7gfOsniSlnzChyPBBFSzZlkDQ1mR4OzWurxcly9LmoaR2UUmHFBMXPOFBARp5/w262-h226/pray+for+America.jpg" width="262" /></a></div> <p></p><p> </p><p> </p>Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-9403200527988668922019-12-07T10:30:00.002-08:002019-12-07T10:30:14.027-08:00Gently Lead<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My eyelids were feeling heavy at the end of another busy day, and my heart was feeling even heavier. As I slipped under the covers, I turned my thoughts to God, asking Him to speak to me before drifting off to sleep. Isaiah 40 popped into my mind, so I quickly grabbed the Bible on my bedside table and flipped it open to the passage. My heart took comfort as my eyes fell on verse 11...<br />
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This last month has been a difficult one for our family. We've had some sudden and rather frightening medical concerns for Benjamin catch us completely off-guard, and we are still waiting for definitive answers. A few days after the Lord strengthened my heart with above verse, we received some difficult news concerning our second son Josiah as well. We are still waiting for more clarity; we are still processing what we know so far; and honestly I am too emotionally raw to go into more details at this time. Ultimately my boys will be okay, but this mamma's heart has been aching. </div>
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As parents, we are given the extraordinary responsibility of shepherding the little ones given into our care. It is an enormous undertaking; one that should never be taken lightly. When special needs are thrown into the mix, the task can feel even more daunting. So often there are more questions than answers. Every time our child hurts, we hurt as well. The constant demands can feel draining. The progress we see in our efforts to teach and lead effectively can often feel unbelievably slow. There are times when challenges can seem insurmountable. Yet the promise remains...</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>"He will...gently lead those who are with young."</i> </span></b></div>
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I'm so thankful for my Good Shepherd who is leading me in this journey of motherhood in good times as well as in times of struggle. I can look back and see the evidence of His leadership and care, even when it was not always clear to me in the moment. He is faithful. </div>
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As we prepare to enter the holiday season I reflect on the first Christmas when the angels appeared to a group of lowly shepherds to announce the birth of the Savior. It is significant that the Father chose to first reveal the birth of His Son to those who were poor and of little standing in their community. He came for the least of these. I believe that it is ALSO significant that the <u>shepherds</u> were the first to receive this glorious good news because their very occupation was a prophetic picture of the ministry of the Messiah. Jesus is the Good Shepherd come to seek and save the lost. </div>
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The One to whom I have entrusted my eternal soul is certainly trustworthy with each little lamb He has so graciously given to me, even when things look differently than I expected or wanted. He is my Shepherd, and I will follow Him, come what may...</div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-45458847728422011472019-10-26T11:25:00.002-07:002019-10-26T11:25:29.825-07:00Awareness that it's HardSeriously, sometimes I feel like I blink and another month has flown by! Between school drop-offs and pick-ups for Benjamin, a new venture of homeschooling my six-year old, and keeping up with a preschooler and a toddler, my life feels like a whirlwind most days. So, here we are nearing the end of October, and I am finally sitting down to pen a blog in honor of Down Syndrome Awareness Month. In all honesty, the past few years I have struggled to know from what angle to write during this month. My goal is to always be truthful and to speak from the heart. We are ten years into our journey of raising a child with Down syndrome, and two-and-a-half years along the unexpected twist in our road with Benjamin's more recent diagnosis of autism.<br />
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Maybe it's just me, but sometimes I feel an unspoken pressure, especially during the month of October, to only write the "feel good" posts about life with Down syndrome. I have written much over the years about the joys and delights we have experienced with our son, but raising a child with special needs is in many ways a two-sided coin. There is joy, but there is also grief. There is beauty, but there is also struggle. There are victories, but there are also many defeats. To say it plainly, it's HARD, and no amount of sugar-coated sentiment or rose-colored glasses views can change that reality for those of us who are living in the trenches day in and day out.<br />
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I think that it if we truly desire to promote Down syndrome awareness, we must be honest about the joys AND the struggles. We have to be honest that some days, many days, are just plain hard, <i style="font-weight: bold;">and it's okay to admit that it's hard. </i>I believe that parents/caregivers of children with special needs, especially moms, can often fall prey to feelings of guilt when we admit our sadness and struggles. The lies and accusations internally screaming in our ears can be jarring...<i>If I really loved my child enough I wouldn't struggling so much...I must not be accepting enough of who my child is if I'm feeling this way...What right do I have to be grieving when others have experienced much harder circumstances? My child is still with me. I should just be grateful...</i>You get the idea.<br />
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This quote speaks volumes. When you are raising a child with special needs, you are often living in the tension of both joy and pain. One does not cancel out the other. Both are present, though one may be felt stronger on certain days than others. As I live life with my sweet Benjamin, there are moments when my heart feels as though it will burst with love and affection, and there are moments when my heart feels as though it will shatter with grief and pain. No matter what I'm feeling at any given moment, the constant thing is that I LOVE MY CHILD, and acknowledging the difficulties does not undermine the strength and sincerity of my love. If anything, it is a testimony to it. The greater the love, the greater the possibility for pain.</div>
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This journey can be a lonely one for parents. Well-meaning friends can come across as dismissive or out-of-touch with our struggles on the occasions in which we open up our hearts with vulnerability. I have felt the sting of this when others have tried to relate to a difficulty I am experiencing by comparing our situation to a very different one involving their typical child. I have felt this sting when others have tried to give what they sincerely believe to be an "encouraging" response in an attempt to make me feel better. (ex. "God only gives these children to special parents because He knew you could handle it.") Sometimes the best response someone can have is to simply LISTEN. Acknowledge that it's hard. Don't pretend to understand when you haven't walked in our shoes. Don't feel like you have to find the "right" thing to say. Just be present and allow us to share. (I wrote about this in greater detail in the post <i style="font-weight: bold;">Help that Hurts. </i>You can read it <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2012/08/help-that-hurts.html">here.</a>) </div>
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Over the last ten years I have become increasingly aware of my own weaknesses and shortcomings, and I have had to come face to face with the often glaring contrast between my good intentions/ideals for motherhood and how I'm actually mothering on a given day. I will never be a perfect mom. I will never "have it all together." It's okay for me to grieve. It's okay for me to admit that it's hard. However, it's NOT okay for me beat myself up with guilt and unrealistic expectations or to wallow in self-pity. It's ESSENTIAL for me to acknowledge that I can't do this in my own strength. I was never meant to do this in my own strength. I need help. I need community. And above all--I need JESUS. </div>
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He is the Strength I must draw from in the midst of my weakness. He is the Hope I must cling to when I am tempted to feel hopeless. He is the Shepherd I must follow when I feel lost. He is the Servant I must model as I serve my family. He is the Healer to whom I can entrust my heart. He is the Source of joy in the midst of pain. He is the place of Comfort in which I can rest my weary soul. He is the only One who can truly meet my needs as I raise my child with special needs. He is the Love that fills me and empowers me to love with greater capacity. The greater my awareness of Him, the greater my ability to walk out this journey with faith and with joy, even on the hardest of days. </div>
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If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please check out my <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=dana+hemminger&qid=1572114211&sr=8-1">book</a>, <i>Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome, </i>available in paperback and Kindle. Thanks for reading!</div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-63817988610525432222019-09-02T10:31:00.000-07:002019-09-02T11:53:44.071-07:00The Family Table: Burden or Blessing?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Over the summer, a presidential candidate proudly celebrated her birthday at a Planned Parenthood Action Fund event. (Yes, you read that right). She enthusiastically stated, "What better way to celebrate my birthday than right here with Planned Parenthood?" I could easily write an entire post about the sickening irony of this scenario, but it was something she went on to say that prompted me to sit down and write today. Speaking at the event, she made a link between restrictions on abortion "rights" and the feminist disdain for the seemingly oppressive role of homemaking as she defiantly declared, "You're not going to lock women back in the kitchen. You're not going to tell us what to do." (You can read the article <a href="https://www.theblaze.com/news/2019/06/25/warren-birthday-planned-parenthood/amp?fbclid=IwAR3LTO1JjAMz1TIowMPXu_IMLzb6Ugrg6hDpFDUaZGtMtJfZcim02hQhGI4">here</a>)<br />
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The modern feminist movement has been pushing the narrative for decades now that marriage, homemaking, and child-bearing are somehow oppressive and degrading to women; chains put in place by a patriarchal and domineering society. According to them, true freedom and empowerment for a woman comes from pursuing a career, foregoing starting a family (at least in her youth), and indulging in sexual relationships with whomever she wants, whenever she wants, without consequence. This is their prescribed path to success, contentment, and happiness we are told. There is so much we could unpack here, but I want to focus today on the politician's specific reference to the "kitchen."<br />
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Recently I was in my kitchen preparing dinner for my lovely family, when I began to reflect on the sheer volume of meals that have been prepared in this little space. We have lived in our current home for over nine years now. Three meals a day for nine years adds up to 9,855 meals served. Wow! Obviously this is only an estimate. There have been vacations, meals eaten out, postpartum meal trains, and, yes, my husband has cooked meals as well! However, as a homemaker, I do prepare and serve the majority of our family's meals. Over the years my cooking habits and skills have evolved and improved, as has my love for cooking in general. Am I always in the mood to cook? No. Are there days I want a break? Absolutely. But overall, I count it a privilege to be able to lovingly create nutritious meals for my beautiful family. In no way do I feel oppressed or enslaved in my occupation. On the contrary, I wholeheartedly believe that I am giving myself to one of the most worthwhile pursuits there is in life--raising up the next generation within my home. And a key component to this is the family table.<br />
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In our busy, digital age, fewer and fewer families take the time to sit down together and share a meal around the table on a regular basis. Meals are eaten on the go from a fast food drive thru as we race to the next activity or in front of a glowing screen, maybe even multiple glowing screens in different rooms. As a society, we have largely lost the value and significance of the family table and have settled instead for individual ease and convenience. But at what cost?<br />
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A number of years ago, The Washington Post ran an <a href="https://beta.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/12/the-most-important-thing-you-can-do-with-your-kids-eat-dinner-with-them/?outputType=amp">article</a> entitled <i>The most important thing you can do with your kids? Eat dinner with them. </i>It goes on to chronicle the profound, research-based benefits that a regular family mealtime around the table can have on children and adolescents. The benefits impact developmental/academic performance, emotional well-being, and physical health. According to this article, young children's cognitive development is enriched for "dinnertime conversation boost vocabulary even more than being read aloud to." For the school-age child, "regular mealtime is an even more powerful predictor of high achievement scores than time spent in school, doing homework, playing sports or doing art." </div>
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The benefits can be especially profound for the teenage years as the article reports "Adolescents who ate family meals five to seven times a week were twice as likely to get A's in school as those who ate dinner with their families fewer than two times a week." They are also less likely to be obese in adulthood and more likely to maintain healthy eating habits. In addition, regular family meals help to lower the chances of many high risk teen behaviors such as "smoking, binge drinking, marijuana use, violence, school problems, eating disorders and sexual activity."</div>
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Daily meals are not meant to only nourish our bodies, but to nourish our souls. All through history, celebrations, commemorative events, and traditional hospitality are most often centered around the sharing of food. In our modern day and age, holiday meals are an anchor for our family gatherings and celebrations. Many of us deeply cherish these times. If we so value this time, why not celebrate life together every day by gathering with those we love around the table as we nourish both body and soul?</div>
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Though not mentioned in this particular article, I believe family mealtimes are also crucial for the spiritual development of a child. Around the table the family can give thanks, pray together, discuss the things on their hearts, and even share a devotion time. In our own family, we have developed the habit of pulling a prayer topic out of our little "prayer box" at the end of the meal. We then take turns praying over the focus for the day. Only one of our four children is cognitively able to fully participate at this point, but we are setting a precedent for years to come. Even though mealtimes with young children can often feel a bit chaotic, we know we are investing in both the present and the future well-being of our family. We have come to really cherish these times! </div>
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The Bible is also filled with examples of the significance of sharing a meal with others. This was even demonstrated throughout the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. It was around the dinner table that the Son of God washed the feet of His disciples, demonstrating to them the loving, servant-hearted leadership He was calling them to. It was around a shared meal that He spoke to the disciples about the New Covenant that was about to be enacted by the shedding of His blood on the cross. It was around the dinner table that He shared the deepest things of His heart with His closest friends just before heading to the Garden of Gethsemane as He prepared to lay His life down for the salvation of the world. </div>
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If the benefits of the family table are so great, then why not consider it a noble privilege instead of draining drudgery for a wife and mother to prepare meals for those we love? Our families need to eat every day. Somebody somewhere will have to prepare the food. Why shouldn't it be us?</div>
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Now, I am not advocating for women to be treated as second class citizens, as though they are incapable of anything other than domestic work. I am not advocating for women to in any way be denied the freedoms that we enjoy and so often take for granted as Americans. However, I believe we make a grave error to explicitly link homemaking and motherhood with the oppression of women. Not only is this a false notion, it is a grace disservice to the countless women who <u>choose</u> to invest their time and energy as homemakers, raising children and serving their families as their full-time occupation. Instead of viewing the realm of homemaking with disdain, we should give it a place of honor and respect in our society. It is anything but second-rate!</div>
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Of course, a woman does not have to be a full-time homemaker for a family to experience the benefits of a shared mealtime. The main point is that families are <u>intentional</u> to gather around the table on a regular basis and enjoy fellowship together. The rewards will always outweigh the inconveniences. May your table be blessed today!</div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-73395706446643687302019-06-29T09:51:00.001-07:002019-06-29T09:51:53.064-07:00What You've Taught MeMy sweet son Benjamin,<br />
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I can hardly believe that an entire decade has passed since we welcomed you into the world, and you made me a mommy for the very first time! The school of parenthood is one of the most glorious, most difficult, and most complex classrooms of life, and you have been a profound teacher for me, even as it is my purpose to teach you. I have been reflecting today on some of the key lessons you have taught me over the years. A single blog post could never fully encapsulate the depths of this learning, but I hope to at least capture the essence.<br />
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<b><i>You have taught me...the beauty of unconditional love.</i></b><br />
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From the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test and the happy tears flowed, to your frightening delivery accompanied by torrential tears of fear and pain as I helplessly watched my baby fighting for life, to the tears of relief and joy at your eventual home-coming, I was overwhelmed by the depth of LOVE I felt for you! It was a love that knew no bounds, a love that completely consumed me, and a love that marked me in such a way that I would NEVER be the same again. You are my child. I love you, because I love you, because I love you. And as I have loved you, I have caught a greater glimpse of the unconditional love of our Heavenly Father--a love that knows no bounds, a love that is completely consuming, and a love that marks the very purpose of our existence.<br />
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<b><i>You have taught me...that life will give us many unexpected turns.</i></b><br />
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After nearly three years of longing to conceive our first child, your daddy and I were sure that we would be welcoming a baby who was completely healthy and whole. We prayed over you every day. I took so many precautions to ensure a healthy pregnancy. We daydreamed about what you would be like and what your future may hold. We were blindsided by the necessary preterm delivery, the life-threatening holes in your little heart, the confirmation of Down syndrome, and the doctor's continuous reminders that you were "a very sick little boy." How could this have happened? This was not how we envisioned your life to be! Yet, in the the midst of the upheaval we experienced, we discovered incredible joy in spite of our pain, and we have been on a continual journey of embracing the beauty of the unique path we have been given to walk. Life holds no guarantees. We can make our plans, but we must hold them open-handed. Whatever unexpected turn life may bring, though, I have learned that God is constant, and He is good, NO MATTER WHAT.<br />
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<b><i>You have taught me...the importance of trust.</i></b><br />
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As your mother, I have had to learn to trust on a whole new level. I have had to trust God for you in literal life or death scenarios. I have had to trust in God's provision, especially when I left the workforce after your birth to begin my full-time calling as a stay-at-home mom. I have had to trust God for each new milestone that we have worked so hard together for. I have had to trust God to sustain my heart when I have felt overwhelmed and unable to bear the weight of responsibility and care. I have had to trust God for the specific future He has in store for you, knowing that He is faithful, and you will be blessed. I have had to trust the help and support of others He has brought into our lives along the way, realizing with greater clarity the importance of community. I have also learned about trust by watching you. Benjamin, you have such an ability to trust with ease. You fully trust your daddy and me to care for you and provide for you. You don't worry and fret about the future or about how your provision will come. You are free to live in the moment, and I so love that about you!<br />
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<b><i>You have taught me...the power of perseverance.</i></b><br />
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As you fought for life in the NICU a good friend encouraged us to "Celebrate your son every day." We have come back to this exhortation time and time again over the years. We have persevered together for months and years to help you reach developmental milestones that many would take for granted. Yet the harder the struggle, the greater the celebration! I am so proud of the many hurdles you have faced and eventually crossed--the first time you sat up, the first time you crawled, the first step you took, the first time you held a cup or a spoon, the first time you said "Mama" at age eight, and a myriad of other "firsts." These milestones, both physical and mental, have resulted in great celebration in our home. You are a little over-comer, and I know that many more triumphs are in store!<br />
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<b><i>You have taught me...that my broken pieces can become food for others when offered Jesus.</i></b><br />
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As human beings, we naturally shy away from pain and suffering. We want to avoid it and often try to shield ourselves from a myriad of possible scenarios by insisting, "That could never happen to <i>me</i>." But the truth is that none of us are immune to pain, and all of us will experience suffering in our lives. These things will take on many different forms, but in some measure they will come to every life. How we choose to respond will either keep us bitter and broken or lead us to greater compassion and purpose. I have offered my pain to Jesus countless times over the years, knowing He is big enough to shoulder it and to bring healing in my heart. One specific way I have offered my pain to Him has been through the written word. When I first began composing bits and pieces of our story, it was simply a personal outlet to release my emotions and process the journey we were on. Soon, I was encouraged to begin this blog (something I had never considered myself) to share our story with others. I felt such a deep sense of satisfaction and purpose as the words continued to flow, and the blog posts were birthed. More time passed, and I realized that a book was in the making. With nervous vulnerability and bubbling excitement, my heart was placed into print form with the release of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a>. Through this blog and my book, I have been given the privilege of connecting with the hearts of people across the country and around the world. Many I will never hear from, but sometimes I'm given the gift of hearing how people have been touched and encouraged through my writing, and I thank God for the opportunity to serve others in this way! <br />
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<b><i>You have taught me...that our value is not measured by our performance.</i></b><br />
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This is a sentiment that I would have always insisted was true, but my internal reality was very different. Since childhood I wrestled with insecurity and the faulty belief that my worth was tied to how well I could perform in any given area. If I was doing well, I felt worthwhile. If I was doing poorly, I felt shame. I knew deep down that this was not true, but I was living in a bondage that was difficult to break free from. Over several years, God has worked healing in my heart in this area (and I'm still a work in progress!) One way He has done so is through your beautiful life. Benjamin, you are a good and precious gift just as you are! While I am always thrilled when you overcome another hurdle related to your disabilities, the love I have for you, and the value I place on you are in no way contingent on these things. You are valuable because you are <i>you</i>, a beautiful child created in God's image! There are many things you may never be able to do, but that's <b>okay.</b> Your life has purpose and value and meaning, regardless of how simple or complex it may be. This leads me to my last point...<br />
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<b><i>You have taught me...the simplicity of joy. </i></b><br />
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Son, you have a smile that can light up a room, and a laugh that brings delight to the heart. Of course you can and do experience and communicate a broad range of emotions, but joy has always marked your life. I love to watch your wonder and enthusiasm over the simple pleasures of life: a favorite song, a scrumptious meal, a walk in the sunshine, a kiss and a cuddle, and the list goes on and on. You have taught me to slow down and savor the moment. Life is full of little blessings and opportunities for joy in the midst of the common and the mundane, if only we have the eyes to see and a heart of gratitude to receive. Thank you for demonstrating to me day in and day out that there are always reasons to celebrate and smile! My sweet Benjamin, I celebrate you today, and I thank you for all that you have taught me over these past ten years. I look forward to how much more we will learn and grow together in the next ten years to come and beyond. Mommy loves you so much!<br />
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-83119591875062900882019-04-20T20:54:00.000-07:002019-04-20T20:54:45.272-07:00Regaining Perspective<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been intending to write again for quite awhile now. Really. It's been on my "to-do" list, always hovering around somewhere in the back of my mind. I could blame my two-and-a-half month lapse on extra activity. I could blame it on my nursing baby. I could blame it on many things. But...if I'm truly honest, the real reason is that I've simply lacked the inspiration. As a writer, when a fresh idea hits me, the words flood my mind and my soul, and I simply have to get them out! My loving and supportive husband always ensures that I find a way to do so, nursing baby and all. Yet lately, I have simply felt dry.<br />
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I have been writing about this life of raising a child with special needs for over eight years now. In those early days, I could hardly keep up, because there was SO MUCH I just had to get out. I rarely lacked a direction or inspiration for writing, as there was just so much story to be told. There were monumental challenges and monumental breakthroughs. There were new discoveries both internal and external all along the way. There was a sense of purpose and satisfaction that, by sharing our story, I could be a source of encouragement to others who may be walking a similar path. There was the exciting joy and the nervous vulnerability of the 2014 release of my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a>, which I dedicated to "everyone who has ever loved a child with special needs." Writing has always been a passion of mine, and life with Benjamin has given me a special outlet through which to channel it.<br />
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So, why the writer's block in this season? I'm sure it is a conglomeration of many factors, but the few things I can most readily pinpoint are the relative plateau I feel with my son's development combined with an underlying sadness that has been clouding my days as of late. Next month we will celebrate Benjamin's 10th birthday. It's hard to believe that we've had our sweet son with us for a decade now, but as my firstborn is about to enter into his double digits, I have had to come face to face with some new layers of grief. I have had to grapple with the fact that what I once envisioned for my son by this age is very different from the reality in which we live.<br />
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When Benjamin was little, I would draw so much strength and encouragement from peering into the lives of older children with Down syndrome, via books and articles, social media posts, and the local support group. As time went on though, my husband and I recognized that our son's development looked increasingly different from others in the Down syndrome community. Two years ago we received the fateful dual diagnosis that he has autism as well. You can read more about that <a href="http://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2017/04/he-is-still-my-son.html">here</a>. In many ways we are still learning about and adjusting to this unexpected twist in our journey with our son. It has not been an easy road.<br />
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Walking the dual diagnosis path can be a fairly lonely trek. We are blessed to have Benjamin enrolled in an exceptional private school that is specifically designed for children with autism, and he is doing very well there. However, we've also had to realize that our world with Down syndrome looks VERY different than those who do not have the additional challenge of autism. The same stories that used to bring me hope and encouragement often just leave me feeling more sorrowful and despairing as I longingly wonder what life would be like if Benjamin only had Down syndrome. Would he be talking now? Would he be potty-trained? Would he be interested in new activities? Would we be able to enjoy more family outings without the fear of meltdowns? Would he show affection to his three younger siblings? Would he actually interact with them? Would he be able to connect on a deeper level with his dad and me? Would he have friends he enjoyed spending time with? If I dwell on these thoughts and questions too long, the grief can begin to feel crushing.<br />
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When Benjamin was born, I had to grieve the loss of my expectation for a child who was healthy and whole. In time I knowingly or unknowingly created new expectations for what life with Down syndrome would look like for my son. Since receiving the autism diagnosis, I have had to grieve the loss of those expectations as well. The future now feels so uncertain, though it was obviously always uncertain to begin with. We are never guaranteed what tomorrow will hold.<br />
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I adore my son. I love him deeply. But lately, I have really been hurting inside. I've been trying to focus on enjoying him in our present reality while simultaneously grieving and longing for what could have been. At times I've wrestled with guilt for feeling the way that I do. Today, though, I realized that I didn't need some fresh inspiration to write. I simply needed to be honest about where I'm at--<b>right now</b>--instead of waiting for my emotions to get to where I wish they would be. Because just as the future is uncertain, so are my emotions. They will always ebb and flow, and they need to be taken in stride. I remembered that simply <i><b>getting my thoughts out</b></i> is often all I need to help me regain a fresh perspective. In the introduction to my book I wrote, <i>"In the Psalms of the Old Testament, King David poured out his heart before the Lord with unhindered abandon. He expressed every emotion known to man. In the midst of this all, though, he clung to the Shepherd of his soul. This has been my story; clinging to Jesus only to realize He is holding me securely in His hands while I do my best to trust Him with each new step." </i><br />
<i><br /></i>So, here's the true perspective I'm reminding myself of today...My hope cannot be in a certain circumstance or outcome or dreamed up future. <b>My hope must be in a Person--Jesus Christ.</b> Anything else is shifting sand. My expectations for what life would look like for Benjamin have had to shift and change many times. But Jesus never changes. His love, His goodness, and His nearness are constant no matter what difficulty may come my way. His eternal Word contains the truth to securely anchor my heart, no matter the storm.<br />
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When I feel weak and overwhelmed He tells me:<br />
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<i>"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." --2 Corinthians 12:9a</i><br />
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<i>"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." --Matthew 11:28</i><br />
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When I become fearful about my son's future He tells me:<br />
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<i>"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:34</i><br />
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<i>"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand." --Psalm 37:23-24</i><br />
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When I'm struggling to feel peace He tells me:<br />
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<i>"I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." --John 16:33</i><br />
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<i>"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." --Philippians 4:6-7</i><br />
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Ultimately, He reminds me of the temporary nature of this life and its struggles. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday when Christians around the world celebrate the Resurrection of our Savior. We remember that our hope is not to be placed in this life at all but in the eternal life to come. Eternity is what truly matters. Loving and trusting Jesus in the midst of this uncertain earthly is what truly matters. Loving others and pointing them to His grace and mercy is what truly matters. Finding purpose and contentment in Him is what truly matters. In the end, <b><u>it's all about Jesus</u></b>. It may even be that He allowed us to walk this unique journey of raising a child with special needs for the very purpose of knowing Him more and making Him known. Through this journey I have learned to love and trust Him at a deeper level. Through this journey I have seen His power on display in our lives. Through this journey I have discovered great joy in the midst of great pain. And through this journey I have had the opportunity to share the testimonies of His love and faithfulness in our lives with others I would never have connected with had we not been asked to walk this road. I think I'm regaining some much needed perspective!<br />
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<i><br /></i>Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-41333387280737074892019-02-09T20:48:00.002-08:002019-02-09T20:48:37.831-08:00Worth Living<i>Time has gotten away from me again, and too much has gone by since I last took time to blog. Today's reflections have been weighing heavy on my heart for the last few weeks...</i><br />
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Tears began to fill my eyes and run down my cheeks as my husband sat beside me on the love seat and we lifted our voices in prayer for our nation. The horror and brutality of New York's recent late-term abortion laws (which legislators cheered and celebrated) were heart-wrenching; the shocking and chilling callousness of Virginia Governor Northam's comments suggesting infanticide were staggering. My heart was aching within me as I pondered, <i>how have we come to this place?</i><br />
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Lest anyone is unfamiliar with what I'm referencing, Governor Northam's comments (for which he claims no regret) are as follows...<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #101010; font-family: "publico text" , "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>"When we talk about third-trimester abortions, these are done with the consent of obviously the mother, with the consent of the physicians, more than one physician, by the way," Northam said. "And it's done in cases where there may be severe deformities, there may be a fetus that's non-viable. So in this particular example, if a mother is in labor, I can tell you exactly what would happen. The infant would be delivered. The infant would be kept comfortable. The infant would be resuscitated if that's what the mother and the family desired, and then a discussion would ensue between the physicians and the mother. So I think this was really blown out of proportion." (cbsnews.com)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #101010; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Blown out of proportion! His language is suggesting a decision about whether or not to allow a newborn baby to live or to die! His jaw-dropping statements hit me especially hard because he could have been describing <b>my son</b>. You see, Benjamin had to be delivered at 35 weeks due to complications. Upon birth he was immediately placed on a ventilator that was doing most, if not all, of his breathing for him. Genetic testing was ordered right away, as the characteristics of Down syndrome were immediately evident. It was soon discovered that he had three holes in his heart that would require surgery <i>if</i> he survived, though we later learned that none of the medical staff expected him to. Medically, he was "non-viable" without immediate and drastic intervention. (Read more of Benjamin's birth story <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/02/unexpected-arrival.html">here</a> and <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/02/first-glimpse.html">here</a>). </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #101010; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">According to Governor Northam's rationale, Benjamin's life only had value if <i>we decided</i> it had value. According to him, if in a moment of emotional distress (and believe me, we were feeling distressed) we decided that we were too overwhelmed by the prospect of raising a child with special needs, it would be perfectly acceptable to allow nature to run its course and leave him to die, or possibly even facilitate his demise! According to this logic, it's as though a child is nothing more than a commodity that can be returned or discarded if the consumer has decided it is unsatisfactory and/or defective. What a dangerously slippery slope we have been sliding down since Roe vs. Wade where one imperfect human being gets to determine whether or not another innocent human being is deserving of life. How far we have fallen!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #101010; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Last Tuesday night President Trump delivered his second State of the Union address. Love him or hate him, his comments concerning abortion and the sanctity of human life were striking and rightly drew the thunderous applause of the pro-life community...</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;"><i>“There could be no greater contrast to the beautiful image of a mother holding her infant child than the chilling displays our Nation saw in recent days. Lawmakers in New York cheered with delight upon the passage of legislation that would allow a baby to be ripped from the mother's womb moments before birth. These are living, feeling, beautiful babies who will never get the chance to share their love and dreams with the world. And then, we had the case of the Governor of Virginia where he basically stated he would execute a baby after birth.”</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="background-color: white;">He went on to say...</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , "times" , serif;"><i>“To defend the dignity of every person, I am asking the Congress to pass legislation to prohibit the late-term abortion of children who can feel pain in the mother’s womb. Let us work together to build a culture that cherishes innocent life. And let us reaffirm a fundamental truth: all children – born and unborn – are made in the holy image of God.” (lifesitenews.com)</i></span><br />
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The contrast of our nation's divide was overwhelmingly apparent as he made this plea for the protection of innocent babies. As one side of the chamber rose to their feet with loud cheering and applause, the other side, including all the women, the very ones divinely designed to nurture and sustain life, sat and scowled in deafening silence. It was truly heart-breaking to watch.</div>
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Again, how have we come to this place as a nation? I believe much of the answer lies in our turning away from the profound truth that President Trump so clearly articulated: <i>"all children-born and unborn-are made in the holy image of God." </i>For several decades America has been steadily moving away from our identity as "One Nation Under God" into an increasingly secular and humanistic society. Self-importance and self-fulfillment reign supreme, while the belief that we evolved from some cosmic explosion long ago leaves little meaning to our existence. Without recognizing the fingerprint of God and the divine purpose and value placed upon each new life, human beings, especially those hidden in the womb, become expendable. If there is no God, then what is the basis for morality, and who or what gets to define it? In turn, we've shrouded the gruesome reality of abortion in emotional euphemisms and bought into the lie that the "moral" choice is giving a woman the "right" to <i>choose</i> what she does with "her body" without any interference or judgment, even if that means ridding herself of the "products of conception," (i.e. killing the very life she helped to create). With noble-sounding phrases such as "reproductive rights," "reproductive healthcare," and "reproductive freedom," we have sanitized and rationalized and even idolized the brutal murder of untold millions of innocent human beings, a staggering 61 million and counting. At the same time we applaud ourselves for the "progress" we've made in the name of women's rights and protecting women. How desperately we need to turn back to God!</div>
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As we've lost sight of our Creator, we've also seemed to lose sight of the beauty and significance of motherhood itself. With the rise of feminism, the mindset has become increasingly widespread that motherhood is burdensome and children an inconvenience. Success for a woman is defined by her career aspirations and accomplishments, while motherhood is seen as secondary and even inferior. In particular, women who choose the path of homemaking are often frowned upon or met with indifference, but surely not celebrated or given honor. This disparity was once again on display during Tuesday's SOTU. The same women who sat in stone-faced silence for the plight of the unborn, danced and cheered in celebration for their own accomplishments. </div>
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Now I am not accusing all these women of being hostile to motherhood. I am sure that many of them are mothers who dearly love their children. I am, however, trying to draw attention to the societal trends that have led us to the place that abortion, especially late-term abortion, is seen as a necessary and fundamental "right" for women. This would not be possible in a society that truly values and esteems motherhood as the sacred calling that it is intended to be. </div>
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Since I was a little child myself, I daydreamed about being a mother one day, and I have been passionately pro-life for my entire adult life. I could continue on and on about this issue that is so close to my heart, but I will turn the attention now back to my sweet son Benjamin. In the midst of the painful and shaky first few weeks of his life, a trusted family friend exhorted us to "celebrate your son every day." That which we celebrate most speaks of that which we value most. I value my little miracle boy, who beat the odds and is now a happy, healthy 9-year-old. He has taught his dad and me much about celebration. We have celebrated every new milestone that he has worked so hard to achieve and have learned that sometimes the seemingly smallest of things merit the greatest of celebration. We have celebrated the improvement of his health over the years and the gift it is that he is with us today. We have celebrated the simple joy and delight he finds in the day-to-day; indeed we have celebrated watching him celebrate with exuberance the little pleasures of life! We have even celebrated the pain and struggles we have walked through, for we have grown closer in our marriage, and we have grown closer to the heart of God. He has met us time and again in the midst of our pain and poured in His grace, His strength, and His joy. We have also celebrated the expansion of our family, which now includes four precious children, each one beautiful, each one unique, and each one made in the image of God.</div>
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<i>(Simple Reflections Photography)</i></div>
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Benjamin gave me a sweet gift last week when I picked him up from his classroom at Paths to Independence (an exceptional school he attends that is specifically designed for children with autism--more on his dual diagnosis <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2017/04/he-is-still-my-son.html">here</a>). When he heard me call his name, his face lit up with a huge smile as it does every day, but when he stood up, he smiled back at his teachers and happily declared, "Mama!" He wanted them to celebrate with him that Mommy had come to pick him up! It's only been a year since my mostly non-verbal little boy said my name for the first time, and he usually reserves it for when he's upset and wanting comfort. But this day he said my name in celebration, and my heart soared. Benjamin's life may be simple, but his life is happy, his life is beautiful, and his life is worth living! </div>
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<i>To read more of Benjamin's miraculous story, please check out my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a></i></div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-12721931715334956732018-11-24T10:28:00.001-08:002018-11-24T10:28:36.545-08:00What Would You Say?My sweet son, Benjamin,<br />
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At the time that I write this, you are 9.5 years old. You are my firstborn, one of the greatest treasures of my life. As your mommy, I know you possibly more than anyone else, yet there is so much more of you that I long to know. Last year, my heart burst with joy when you finally uttered the longed for word, "Mama." I had waited so long, and it was music to my ears. To this day you will only use this word when you are upset and in need of comfort, which I delight to give to you. I am still hopeful for the day you will say it with joy, just as I hope for the day that your language will be unlocked, and you will be able to give voice to the things on your mind and heart.<br />
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<i>(photo by <a href="http://www.facebook.com/yoursimplereflections">Simple Reflections photography</a>)</i></div>
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If you could speak, what would you have to say? You find little ways to communicate--sounds, gestures, expressions, some simple sign language, but how much do you wish to share that you are unable to? At times I can sense your frustration as I desperately try to interpret your wants and needs. Sometimes I am able to understand; other times I am at a loss. Two days ago we celebrated Thanksgiving, but it was a difficult day. As the morning wore on, you were showing increasing signs that you were not feeling well, but you couldn't tell us what was uncomfortable. You were acting lethargic, and then you refused to eat your lunch. We laid you down for a nap, only to check on you awhile later to find you covered in vomit. You couldn't tell us when it happened, and we could only hope that not much time had passed. Your daddy and I cleaned you up and tried to comfort you the best we could. You had little to no appetite the rest of that day or the next. At times you would break down crying, but you couldn't tell us what you were feeling. As your mother, I hurt when I see you hurting, and I wish I could make everything better again. I was relieved this morning when you eagerly ate your breakfast and seemed interested in playing again!<br />
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We missed the joyful demeanor you typically bring to a holiday meal. On a normal day, you leave the table as soon as you have finished eating, but holidays and birthdays are different. You know something special is going on when you see the table cloth laid out and the decorative centerpiece. You delight in the fact that extra friends and family have joined us. You are always the first one done, but on these special occasions you linger at the table, celebrating with gleeful sounds and expressions. Your exuberance blesses us all! What would you say to us in these moments of feasting and festivity? Maybe one day I will know.<br />
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Until then, I will choose to celebrate the ways you do communicate. On many a morning I will be sitting on the couch sipping my coffee, and you will approach me with a big grin on your face as you eagerly show me one of your beloved See-n-Say toys. These simple toys have mesmerized you since <br />
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your toddler days, and their songs and sounds have become the familiar background noise of our household. I love it when you show me your toys; you are intentionally finding a way to invite me into your world. Thank you! I will continue to cherish that happy smiles and hugs, and the simple signs and gestures you use when you want me to sing you your favorite songs. I will enjoy your animated dancing as you place your hands on my shoulders as I kneel in front of you, and you bounce up and down to the tune. I will appreciate your purposeful request for another toy from your closet shelf when you smile at me, grab my hand, and lead me into your bedroom. I will do my best to interpret your frustrations, when you express yourself through tears and grunts. When I can fulfill your desire I will do so with joy, and when it is necessary for me to say no, I will strive to communicate with loving firmness as I seek to teach you that there are boundaries and expectations in our family life. When you want to be held, I will happily cuddle with you, and when you are needing some space, I will respect your independence. In all things I will seek to demonstrate to you the depth of love in my heart that you may always feel cherished and secure.<br />
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My precious, Benjamin, your daddy and I love you so very much, and we will continue to pray for and believe that one day your language will burst forth, and you will be able to welcome us more deeply into your world. But even if our wish is not granted, we will diligently love you, care for you, and study you that we may better understand you. You are a little over-comer, and we look with expectation towards the future, not only in this life, but in the one to come. One day we will all leave this temporary life behind and enter into the eternal joy and presence of our Lord Jesus Christ. In that day you will be made completely whole, and I cannot wait to hear all that you will have to say!<br />
<i>(photo by <a href="http://www.facebook.com/yoursimplereflections">Simple Reflections Photography</a></i><br />
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All my love,<br />
Mommy<br />
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<i>If you enjoyed this blog and would like to know more about Benjamin's remarkable story, please check out my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a></i><br />
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-27332589323106278132018-10-27T20:26:00.000-07:002018-10-27T20:26:32.319-07:00Beautiful RepetitionWell, October is nearly over, and I'm just now getting around to writing a post in honor of National Down Syndrome Awareness Month. (Not that life with four children is busy or anything!) Honestly, I struggled at first with what to write. For nearly eight years now I've been writing about life with a child with Down syndrome. So many sentiments and stories have been shared over and over again. But then I realized...<i>repetition of that which is worthwhile is both</i> <i>necessary and beautiful.</i> Also, what is familiar to some may be a breathe of fresh air to others. With this in mind, I want to share five truths I've learned through this messy, beautiful, overwhelming, and extraordinary journey of raising a child with special needs.<br />
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1. <b><i>Life almost never goes as planned.</i></b><br />
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From my earliest memories, I dreamed of being a mother one day. I dreamed of a houseful of happy, healthy, talented children, who of course would be so well-behaved the majority of the time. I would thrive as a stay-home mom, drinking in the joys of motherhood with grace, patience, and fountains of creativity! (Insert laughter here). Then real life happened. After over two painful years of infertility I finally conceived life in my womb. Yet, I was so unprepared for what was to come...a preterm baby fighting for his life in the NICU, a diagnosis of Down syndrome that I couldn't begin to wrap my mind around, and the terror of a heart defect that would require surgery in the near future. In a moment's time my heart experienced a depth of love and a depth of pain that I had not known was possible. (You can read more about Benjamin's birth story <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/02/unexpected-arrival.html">here.</a>) I also wasn't prepared for all that motherhood truly entails. (But really, who is?) It is a glorious, beautiful, love-filled calling, but it is also HARD WORK! My idealistic daydreams have had to be laid down as I travel an unknown path that has stretched me further than I knew I could be stretched and has forged character in my heart that can only be achieved through a process of pressure and refining fire. This leads me to the second truth...<br />
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2. <b><i>Deep joy often springs from deep pain.</i></b><br />
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The pain of those early days and months after Benjamin's birth was dark and intense. My dreams had been shattered. I was anticipating a homecoming with a healthy, thriving baby. Instead, I was helplessly watching my precious son fighting for his life. There were days on end in which I was just longing to be allowed to hold him. Every day I was longing for him to be well enough to come home, free of frightening tubes, wires, and machines. Once he was home, there were still many medical hurdles to overcome as well as the many developmental delays and constant questions of what life would truly look like for Benjamin with his disability. There were days of anger, days of intense grief, and days of emotional numbness, all intensified by the depth of love I felt for this tiny little human in my care. Yet in that very valley of pain, Jesus met me, poured love, hope, and comfort into my heart, and allowed me to experience a nearness to Him that was deeper and sweeter than I had ever known up to that point. In that place of deepest pain He taught me that He is faithful and He can be trusted no matter what difficulties may come my way. During that first shaky year He showed me what a gift it is to worship Him in the midst of my pain, the One who endured so much pain and agony for my redemption. It is a gift that I can only offer to Him in this brief life on earth, because a day is coming when He will wipe away every tear and heartache forever! (If you would like to read about a particular time the Lord ministered to my heart early on, go <a href="https://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/09/sighting-day.html">here</a>).<br />
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3. <b><i>There is much beauty in simplicity.</i></b><br />
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This is a truth that my son Benjamin has been teaching me for nine years now. He is a simple boy. His interests are few. His communication is limited. Yet his love for life is contagious! Raising him has often forced me to slow down, especially as we work towards new milestones that can often feel few and far apart. We live in such a fast-paced culture, and we often expect things to happen quickly, allowing impatience to rob us of joy when things don't move at the speed we would like. Benjamin has taught me to celebrate and appreciate the little things. He has reminded me of the wonder that is present in our world if we would just take the time to slow down and notice it. He draws deep joy from simple activity, and he has no pretense about sharing his exuberance with others. He has brought smiles to countless faces over the years by simply being himself. He is my beautiful little boy!<br />
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4. <b><i>Unconditional Love</i></b><br />
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This reality has been three-fold. Until you have had a child, you cannot truly understand the intensity of love that floods your heart. I love Benjamin because I love him. I love him because he is mine. I love him regardless of what he can or cannot do. I LOVE him. Period. He is the one who ushered me into this amazing world of parenthood, and in the process I have been able to grasp at a deeper level the unconditional love of my Father in Heaven. I am a flawed human being, but if I can love my child this deeply, how much more does He love His children, including me--He Who is perfect love? Benjamin has also demonstrated unconditional love to me time and time again. Of course he can and does experience that whole gamut of emotions common to man, including anger and frustration. <i>But he never holds a grudge.</i> Just as quickly as his emotions turn sour, they can turn back to happy again, and he never withholds his affection. His love is simple, and it is <b><i>real</i></b>.<i> </i><br />
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5. <b><i>We are all "disabled."</i></b><br />
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Raising Benjamin has brought me face to face with my own weaknesses in ways perhaps nothing else would have. I have had to recognize my own selfishness, my own pride, my own entitlement, my own lack of faith and trust, my own helplessness, and the list goes on and on. In truth, the whole of humanity has been disabled...disabled by sin. Everywhere around us we see the evidence of a sin-sick world. People are hurting. People are suffering. We have all experienced rejection, hatred, and disappointment. We all carry wounds. And we are all guilty of sin. Just as Benjamin has needed purposeful intervention to develop and grow and thrive, we are in desperate need for One to intervene for us. Just as Benjamin has needed us to love him and help him through the process, we need One who loves us right where we're at but who's committed to walking us into healing and wholeness. Caring for my son has given me an even deeper gratefulness for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He loved me in my sin. He intervened for me in my sin through His death on the cross. And my Risen Lord has led me out of darkness and into His glorious light! He is committed to leading me into greater healing, greater freedom, and greater purpose in my life. He wants to form His very nature inside of me. Yet He is so gentle and tender toward me in my weakness, loving me and enjoying me every step of the process as I take His hand and allow Him to lead. When I fall down, He picks me up. When I cry and complain, He patiently waits and we try again. When I want to give up, He lovingly nudges me forward and encourages me along the way. He is so good! And while we all have stories to tell, they find there truest meaning and beauty in His story--a beautiful story to be repeated for all of eternity!<br />
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<i>If you enjoyed this blog and would like to read more about our journey with Benjamin, please check out my <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">book</a> <u>Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome.</u> As always, thanks for reading! </i>Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-53650010946941389602018-09-22T11:19:00.000-07:002018-09-22T11:19:01.404-07:00Loving MotherhoodI have officially been a stay-at-home mom for over nine years now. It has simultaneously been very fulfilling yet very draining, very lovely yet very messy, completely natural but at times completely overwhelming. In short, I affectionately refer to it as the beautiful chaos of my life! In fact, I am currently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, slowly typing with one finger as I try to nurse and comfort my fussy baby. My stomach is rumbling for the lunch in front of me that I hope to eat before it gets cold, and I am hoping she cooperates enough for me to craft the words that have been flowing through my heart and mind all morning. I sure do love this little lady!<br />
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As a full-time mommy, I am so keenly aware of a mother's need for encouragement. I am always on the look-out for that which will strengthen and inspire me in this most worthy calling. A few years ago I was blessed to stumble across an amazing ministry called <a href="https://aboverubies.org/">Above Rubies</a>, founded by Nancy Campbell, committed to "strengthening families around the world" by offering encouragement to women as wives, mothers, and homemakers. I truly discovered a treasure! Since then I have regularly read their articles, read (and re-read) several of Mrs. Campbell's books, and subscribed to their free magazine which comes out a handful of times each year. I have never felt so affirmed as a mother!</div>
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Recently I was given the privilege of sharing an article in the most recent edition of the Above Rubies magazine. My piece was entitled "They Could Never Guess" and is a condensed version of the chapter "God's Formula" from my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a>. What a gift and a joy it was to be able to add my voice to this beautiful ministry to women!</div>
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As I stated earlier, motherhood is both a rewarding and difficult occupation, but it is a high-calling deserving of the utmost respect. Each little child is an eternal soul entrusted to us to raise and nurture. Mother's are truly shaping the next generation. Sadly, we live in a culture that has progressively devalued the significance of motherhood. On several occasions, Mrs. Campbell has written about her observation that, while all mothers love their children, many mothers sadly do not love <i>motherhood.</i> The two are not completely synonymous. To truly love motherhood, we must have a deep sense of purpose and vision for the task before us, even in the midst of the repetitive and the mundane. Loving motherhood involves living with intention and dying to ourselves on a daily basis as we love, teach, and nurture with joy these vulnerable, little human beings given into our care. Loving motherhood means not viewing our children as an inconvenience but as the great purpose of our lives. Loving motherhood means recognizing that there is nothing more significant that we can be pouring our time and energy into during this season of life while our children are being raised in our homes. </div>
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I deeply love my four children Benjamin, Joelle, Josiah, and Ava. Over the last nine years I am learning more and more to truly love my motherhood, even those portions which cause me to grieve. Embracing motherhood takes on unique dynamics and struggles when raising a child with special needs. The demands are oftentimes greater. The progress is most definitely slower. By this I mean that the natural progression of childhood and maturity is much more drawn out and sometimes halted altogether. The "season" of childhood may in fact be a lifelong one as the child's physical body grows into adolescence and adulthood but the mind and emotions do not. The "empty nest" will most likely never come, and, when we're really honest with ourselves, the future can sometimes look bleak. "Will he ever be able to talk?" "Will we still be changing diapers when he's a teenager or an adult?" "Will I still be singing <i>The Wheels on the Bus</i> and <i>Patty-Cake </i>to make him smile another ten years from now?" "What will happen if we reach a point where we are no longer physically able to care for him?" The unknowns and fears can quickly creep in and suffocate us if these thoughts are not taken captive and given to the Lord. We do not know what the future path will look like, but Jesus does, and He can be trusted with every detail. </div>
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I have often been told the faulty sentiment, "God gave you a child with special needs because He knew you could handle it." No. I cannot handle it. I do not have the strength and patience within myself. <i>But Jesus does.</i> He offers me His sufficiency in the place of my insufficiency. He offers me His peace in the place of my fear. He offers me His strength in the place of my weakness. He offers me His victorious life in the place of my sinful state. <i>He is enough. </i>And I don't just need His grace and power to mother my sweet Benjamin; I need Him to mother all my children. I cannot be the mother He has called me to be on my own. </div>
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I truly believe that embracing motherhood first involves embracing a <i>Person--</i>Jesus Christ. He is the one who gives the eternal vision and purpose for raising children. It is not about us. It's not even about them. It's about <i>Him </i>and His kingdom that will never end. He is looking for those who love Him wholeheartedly and who will be faithful with however much or however little has been entrusted to them. </div>
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Last week my husband was asked to preach at our church's Wednesday night service. He talked about living for eternal rewards. This life is fleeting, but it is in this life that we prepare for eternity. We can invest our lives in that which will fade away, or we can invest our lives in that which will remain. This principle is the very core of true motherhood. Shawn shared the example during his message that God is looking for faithfulness to Himself and to the callings He's given to us, and He does not judge the way the world does. He said, "My wife is a homemaker, and many people may look down on her for that. But her calling is no less significant to God than Billy Graham's calling was to preach to the masses. It's about faithfulness."</div>
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If you are a mother reading this, I hope the reflections of my heart today have encouraged your heart. You may be feeling weary and forgotten in the trenches of motherhood, especially if you are raising a child with special needs, but take heart! You are doing a mighty work! Though often unseen and maybe unappreciated by the world, you are seen and known by the Lord of all creation. Your labor is not in vain! </div>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">"You're greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise." --Andy Stanley </span></b></i></div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-28211512088700216802018-08-25T11:58:00.000-07:002018-08-25T11:58:00.260-07:00Time FliesTime can certainly fly by at a rapid rate! When I posted my last blog, I was about to pop with baby number four, and summer vacation was just around the corner. I feel like I blinked, and now the school year is up and running, and my newborn just turned 3 months old! I can hardly believe this much time has lapsed since I last took the time to write, but better late than never. Let's start with some updates...<br />
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On May 24 we welcomed our beautiful Ava Rose into the world, weighing 7 lbs, 8.5 oz and perfect in every way! This particular pregnancy/birth experience was such a healing one for me. When my husband and I discovered (to our delight) that I was expecting again at age 35, my daily prayer was that this pregnancy would be completely complication free. I had yet to experience such a blessing. If you've followed this blog or read my <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">book</a>, you know that we had a terrifying start with Benjamin literally fighting for his life and facing huge medical hurdles. You may or may not know, however, that we had some scares with our next two children as well. When I was pregnant with our daughter Joelle, I suddenly began bleeding at 12 weeks. It lasted for over a month and was one of the most frightening months of my life. Thankfully the Lord sustained her in my womb, and she was born perfectly healthy. My pregnancy with Josiah was without incident, but his delivery was another matter. I was required to have a repeat C-section. The moment he was pulled from my womb he inhaled amniotic fluid into his lungs and began to drown. He was very critical for about 20 minutes until they were finally able to get his lungs mostly cleared. He was kept under an oxygen tent and supervision for a few hours and then had another breathing episode. He ended up being taken by ambulance to a hospital an hour away and placed in the NICU. Meanwhile I was confined to the local hospital for recovery. I did not get to see or hold my precious baby for three painful days. Needless to say, I was nervous entering into this fourth pregnancy!<br />
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However, early on the Lord's peace descended on my heart, and I went on to experience my easiest pregnancy yet! Every thing went smoothly from start to finish. As I was being stitched back up after my C-section, Ava was placed right up by my face so I would kiss her and talk to her right away. Once I was wheeled to my room after surgery, she was immediately placed on my chest. My heart overflowed with gratitude as I drank in the beautiful privilege of holding my healthy baby close to my heart where she belonged!<br />
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The blessing and wonder has continued as Ava has turned out to be the EASIEST baby we've ever had. She has a happy, mild personality, and she actually lets us SLEEP! It's been amazing to say the least. She loves watching her siblings, and they have all adjusted better than we expected to their new sister. Joelle absolutely adores her and is always eager to help. Josiah is getting used to not being the "baby" anymore. He doesn't pay her much attention, but he is gentle. Benjamin has been fantastic, and has appeared to be very accepting of another baby in the home. (He had a really hard time adjusting when Joelle was born and still struggled with Josiah...) Shawn and I are absolutely delighted with our lively little household and the amazing treasures that have been entrusted to our care! </div>
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After attending summer school part time over the vacation, Benjamin was extremely eager to begin full time again for his second year at Paths to Independence school for autism. We continue to be so grateful for this exceptional school that is playing such a key role in unlocking his potential. The staff genuinely love him, and he genuinely loves going! The summer school program ended a few weeks before the school year began, and the last week especially was a difficult one. Benjamin was so bored being home all day, and my time and attention was obviously divided with four children to care for, including nursing my baby full-time. As his frustration mounted, he acted out more, and I found myself feeling increasingly frazzled (just being real)! </div>
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One day I was slammed again with a wave of grief over the more recent diagnosis of autism. At times I feel that the autism is a greater hindrance to Benjamin that the Down syndrome. The older he's gotten the more sharp the contrasts have become between him and his peers who only have Down syndrome. Sometimes I feel so helpless to reach him, even though he is an affectionate little boy who knows he is loved. However, our communication continues to be so limited, and his interests are so few. On this particular day when my heart felt extremely heavy, I logged into my secondary e-mail account that I use primarily for writing purposes. I was so surprised and so encouraged to discover a message from a young mother who recently read my <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">book</a>. She had to request it through an inter-library loan and had a lengthy wait time to receive it. However, the Lord's timing was perfect. You see, she was approaching the one year anniversary of her own child's (successful) open heart surgery, and the memories brought a re-surfacing of the pain associated with that difficult experience. On that exact day, she ended up reading the chapter in my book about Benjamin's open heart surgery, and the Lord used it to bring such comfort to her heart. I was amazed, and my own pain began to take on its proper perspective. In a response email to her I wrote, "I discovered your message at the perfect time--a ray of sunshine in what's felt like a gloomy day! Thank you for reminding me that our trials are never wasted when offered to the Lover of our souls. He is so good!" How beautiful it is when God takes our broken pieces and weaves them into something beautiful that can be a blessing to others. </div>
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Within the first week of Benjamin returning to school, encouragement once more started to pour in. As I walked into the building one afternoon to pick him up, I saw one of the high school students, who also has the dual diagnosis of Down syndrome and autism, walking out with his mother. He was enthusiastically telling her about his day. His speech is not easy to understand, but he does talk, and his parents have told me before that it was around fourth grade when his language started to really emerge. Their story gives me so much hope! Any way, as I headed down the hall to my son's classroom, I whispered a prayer to the Lord that in time Benjamin will be able to speak as well. His teacher greeted me at the door with a glowing report. Apparently, the day before he had accidentally whacked his elbow, and she heard him say, "Ouch!" She was surprised and asked, "Did you just say, 'ouch'?" He then repeated it! Then, that afternoon during a snack time, he used sign language to form the simple but clear request, "More eat please." WOW!</div>
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I titled this blog post, "Time Flies." However, when you are raising a child with special needs, sometimes it can actually feel more like time is standing still. This handsome little man turned nine years old two days before the birth of his baby sister, but the developmental milestones have often felt few and far between. In many areas we will get stuck for years at a time. Yet when breakthroughs do happen, the celebration and joy runs deep. It is a very bitter-sweet process. Though I have been a parent for nine years, my five-year-old is by FAR my "oldest" developmentally, and this season of having little ones to care for has been all I have known. The day-in-day-out mundanes of life can make it feel as though it will stretch on forever, even though I know that's not true. This week I listened to a wonderful podcast about the seasons of motherhood. I am still in an early season, and with Benjamin, the seasons will inevitably take on a different course then they do with our other children. However, they are no less precious or valuable. Time truly does fly by. The Bible tells us...</div>
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Life is precious, and it is not guaranteed. Motherhood is an extraordinary gift, and it is not one I ever want to take for granted. I want to cherish this time of caring for my little children. I want to be intentional with this time of raising them up in a God-honoring way. I want to celebrate this time and all the precious memories to be made. I don't want to waste this time because once it is spent, it cannot be regained. I want to make the most of this gift of TIME, whatever the journey may look like and whatever the future may hold!</div>
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<br />Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-32600785503597039232018-05-12T11:05:00.000-07:002018-05-12T12:03:12.502-07:00The Gift of Motherhood<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tomorrow is a day I look forward to every year--Mother's Day! I didn't always feel this way, though. In fact, there was a season of time when this day was one marked with sadness and disappointment. Mother's Day of 2008 is one that I especially remember in this regard. Shawn and I had been trying unsuccessfully for a couple of years to conceive our first child. I LONGED to have a baby, and Mother's Day was a pointed reminder of my seemingly barren womb. We were currently employed at The Salvation Army, and the night before my husband received a call from his supervisor that they would be leaving first thing in the morning for disaster relief services in a tornado-ravaged town a few hours away. It was a sudden and unexpected departure with no time table for how long he would be away.<br />
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After an early morning goodbye, I got myself ready and headed to church on my own, feeling especially lonely and depressed. During the Mother's Day service, they had all of the mothers stand in recognition. My heart ached that I could not stand myself. As if on cue, a young girl in our small congregation blurted out, "Dana, you should stand up. You're Oreo and Gizmo's mom!" (We owned two little Shih tzus at the time). I can definitely laugh at her innocent comment now, but in the moment I was anything but amused!<br />
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However, by Mother's Day the next year, our prayers had been answered, and I was blooming with our first child. I received flowers from my husband and from the church, and I rejoiced in the reality that I carried little Benjamin Lee in my womb. We had no idea at that point that he would make an emergency arrival within the next few weeks, nor that our little warrior would be born with an extra chromosome, fighting for his life. Nonetheless, our miracle boy launched me into the wonderful and frightening world of motherhood. I can hardly believe we will be celebrating his 9th birthday in less than two weeks! <br />
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Since then, we have been blessed with our daughter Joelle Malise (2013), our son Josiah Gage (2015), and I am once again in full bloom with child. We will welcome our daughter Ava Rose on May 24 via repeat c-section (though I won't be at all surprised if she chooses to grace us with her presence sooner)! These little treasures light up my life every day, and I feel so privileged to be their Mommy!<br />
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Earlier this week I posted a picture on Facebook of my basketball (or perhaps watermelon?) size belly with the statement, "Growing a tiny human being is incredibly rewarding and extremely exhausting!" However, the truth of this statement is not limited to pregnancy alone; it's true of motherhood in general! Raising a child with special needs only amplifies this reality. The exhaustion can often run deeper, but I believe the rewards are less likely to be taken for granted. In many ways, having a firstborn with special needs has offered an amazing gift of perspective. We have learned to celebrate each little breakthrough because each one truly is a big deal! At the same time, I've been more in awe watching the natural development of my younger children. I so cherish each one!</div>
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This morning I was reading in a devotional book called <i>100 Days of Blessings: Devotions for Wives and Mothers </i>by Nancy Campbell. It seemed fitting that the title of today's reading was "The Nurturing Anointing." Mrs. Campbell writes,</div>
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<i>The "nurturing anointing" is not only relegated to mothers with children. It is God's intention for all women. If we were to ask who was the greatest mother of the last century, there would be a unanimous reply. Mother Theresa. Was she married? No. Did she bear her own children? No. But she was a great nurturer. She fed the poor. She loved the unlovely. She poured out her life to the needy. She sacrificed her own goals to bless others.</i></div>
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<i>The world waits to feel the anointing of God's nurturing heart. And it starts with us. It starts in our homes. It starts with pouring out our lives to nurture our own children and then flowing over to meet the needs of the needy around us.</i></div>
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Motherhood is an incredible gift and calling. I am so thankful that God fulfilled my desire to have children, and I do not want to take lightly the important job I've been giving of nurturing them and raising them physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. However, I am reminded today that motherhood is not limited to those who have borne natural children. There are many women who give of their hearts and their lives each and every day in loving and serving those around them who may have never had children of their own. They are just as deserving of honor and recognition. As we celebrate Mother's Day tomorrow may we rejoice in our own children and honor those "mothers" in our lives who have given of themselves, enriching our lives in the process!</div>
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<br />Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-78598213383694588682018-03-31T08:46:00.003-07:002018-03-31T08:46:47.804-07:00Immeasurable Value<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What is the value of a life? How is it determined? Success? Accomplishment? Quality of life? Relationships? I believe the true answer is not and never has been contingent on any of these things or any other elements of which the world may try to convince us. Sadly, we live in a culture that has often devalued life. From our heart-breaking history of slavery, to the devastating loss of over 60 million babies murdered in the womb since the passage of Roe vs. Wade, to the more recent rise of school shootings and violent crime, we see the lack of respect and value for human life. This sentiment has deep inroads in our entertainment industries as well where violence and loss of life are glorified on the big screen, the T.V. screen, and behind the video game controllers. If we consider the nations around the world we see darker and darker examples of terrorism, tyranny, and the world-wide atrocities of the sex slave trade. For children such as my precious Benjamin with an extra chromosome, the womb has become one of the most dangerous places to be. We even have nations celebrating the "eradication" of individuals with Down syndrome. Their lives are not valued but proudly "terminated." (Now, this post is not meant to be political, nor is it meant to be depressing. I am simply trying to paint the backdrop to magnify the truth and hope from which I write).<br />
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So how do we determine the value of a life? I believe that the answer is loudly and eternally proclaimed in the reality of the day countless millions will be celebrating tomorrow--Resurrection Sunday! The value of a life--of every life--is found in the passion of Jesus Christ. The perfect, sinless, all powerful Son of God left His glory and entered the world as human embryo in the womb of a poor Jewish girl. He lived a life of simplicity, compassion, and suffering as He proclaimed and demonstrated the heart of His Father in Heaven and destroyed the works of the devil. He willingly laid down His own life in unspeakable torture and agony on the cross, taking on the penalty of our sin, so that we could be forgiven and receive His righteousness. He was laid in a tomb and three days later defeated sin and death forever through His resurrection and his ascension back into glory. With unrelenting love and unspeakable value for human life, the Father willingly sacrificed His Son, and the Son willingly became the sacrifice.<br />
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He did this for you, and He did this for me. His love and mercy are beyond measure. The value of a life is not found in anything we can do or be. The value of a life is measured by the price that was paid for it, and the life of Jesus Christ is immeasurable in worth and value! We were worth it to Him!</div>
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God teaches me so much through my sweet, little Benjamin. He was born with a genetic imperfection. He has a disability which he is powerless in himself to overcome. Yet his chromosomal count, his weaknesses, and his inabilities have never caused my love for him to waver. He is my son, and I value him because he is <i><b>mine</b></i>. The truth is that we were all born with imperfection. We are all disabled by the curse of sin, and we are powerless in ourselves to overcome our weaknesses and failures. Yet God looks down on us with a heart of unconditional love and says, "I love you because you are <i style="font-weight: bold;">Mine.</i> Receive My love. Receive My forgiveness. Receive My very life within yourself. You are worth it all to Me." Our response is simply one of acceptance and surrender, but He will never force us to do so. We each have a choice on how we will respond to cross of Jesus Christ, and this response is the MOST IMPORTANT DECISION we will ever make. Our eternal destiny hinges on our "yes" or our "no."</div>
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My prayer is that this Resurrection Sunday, you will experience the power of God's love, grace, and forgiveness in the cross of Jesus Christ. Whether it is a deeper revelation of His heart or a first time surrender to His Lordship, He is calling, "Come, beloved one. You are valuable to Me!" </div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-81465629388220953602018-03-10T10:45:00.000-08:002018-03-10T10:45:57.102-08:00Unlocking PotentialOver the years since Benjamin's birth there are moments when he blows past my expectations (which admittedly are sometimes too limited), and he displays a new level of comprehension and understanding of which I was not aware. It was present all along, but he simply needed the right outlet to unlock the potential within. When these moments arrive I am reminded to not underestimate his ability, and I'm given renewed hope for future breakthroughs. This past week held one of these moments...<br />
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I arrived at Benjamin's school to pick him up in the afternoon and was greeted by his teacher with a glowing report from the day. They have been utilizing an iPad speech app with him that gives him simple word buttons to choose for various activities. While working with the speech therapist he had formed a COMPLETE SENTENCE all by himself! "I want more Wheels on the Bus." (This has been his all-time favorite song since he was a toddler). Now I would have anticipated him hitting the button, "Wheels on the Bus," but he blew my expectation when he showed the unprompted understanding a simple sentence structure!<br />
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As a reward for his hard work he earned some time with his beloved See-n-Say! I've expressed this is previous posts, but I am so very thankful that Benjamin has the opportunity to attend a school that is tailored to his needs. They are helping to unlock the potential he holds inside, and I am continually encouraged to keep on dreaming for his future. I am so proud of this boy!<br />
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<i>If you would like to learn more about Benjamin's remarkable, early journey, check out my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a></i><br />
<br />Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-25085377760087758502018-01-27T10:18:00.000-08:002018-01-27T10:18:58.822-08:00Some Days Are Harder Than OthersIt was a typical Monday morning. I was scurrying around, trying to get myself and three children ready and out the door in time to drop Benjamin off at school by 9:00. As is our routine, I popped in a short DVD for them while I focused on getting cleaned up myself. Their movie ended about 15 minutes before we needed to be out the door, and I did not see any point in giving them another one. There were shoes to put on, teeth to brush, and coats to round up. Benjamin, however, was of an entirely different opinion. When it became apparent to him that his movie-viewing time was indeed over, the meltdown ensued,...and IT DIDN'T STOP! For the next 15 minutes my indignant eight-year-old cried and wailed with all his might, smearing snot and tears all over himself as he very vocally let me know just how mad I had made him.<br />
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By the time we shuffled out the door, he was still at it. Getting all three rounded up and into the van always feels like herding cats anyway, and this morning my nerves were already raw. As I buckled everyone in as quickly as I could, my son's protests continued. <i>"Benjamin, that's enough!"</i> I snapped as I slid my tired, pregnant body into the driver's seat and started the engine. Of course, responding in anger NEVER improves the situation, and his cries continued for the next few minutes.<br />
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As I pulled out the driveway, I began to pray, as I always do on our way to school. This morning, however, burning tears were welling up and stinging my eyes as I was honest with the Lord about my weariness and frustration. Sometimes a simple incident like the morning's meltdown is all it takes for an unexpected layer of grief to be peeled back. My heart was aching over my son's delays. My heart was aching over the many barriers to communication. My emotions were raw and my body weary from the demands and challenges of raising three small children, one of whom operates as a 50 lb toddler. I was TIRED.<br />
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As I prayed, I was reminded of the simple strategy of speaking aloud what I know to be true in the midst of pain and disappointment. <i>"Benjamin, Mommy loves you so much. Benjamin, I'm happy you're my son. Benjamin, Mommy is proud of you." </i>As I spoke these words of affirmation over my child, his demeanor calmed, and he began to smile. As I listened to my own words, my heart calmed too, and the proper perspective returned. No matter how difficult certain days may be, these truths will never change.<br />
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I was reminded once more how desperately I need God's grace at work in my life to be the mother He has called me to be. My natural, human love and good intentions are not enough. I need His life flowing in me and through me to truly be able to nurture life in my children--in their spirits, souls, and bodies. I was reminded too that, just as I need grace, I must extend grace to these little ones, especially in the hard moments. My responses and behaviors towards them are teaching them, whether right or wrong, about the heart of God. Benjamin needs my grace as we navigate day-to-day life with his disabilities. He needs my patience and understanding, my affirmation and tangible demonstrations of love. Finally, I was reminded that I must also give myself grace. It's okay to admit when it's hard. It's okay admit when I'm hurting. It's okay for me to take time for myself to recharge and refresh. As I type this I am enjoying my weekly, Saturday morning, "mommy break." I swung by an estate sale, did some shopping at the mall, and now I'm sitting in my favorite coffee shop, taking the time to reflect and decompress from the daily demands of homemaking and motherhood. I am so incredibly thankful to my husband for insisting that I take this time on a regular basis. He knows how much I need it!<br />
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It's true that some days are harder than others, but it's also true that grace is always available to me in abundance. <i>"...My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness..." (2 Corinthians 12:9).</i> May every day be filled with grace!<br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-73453392306287927152017-12-16T10:49:00.000-08:002017-12-16T10:50:31.820-08:00Made to ExcelThis morning I sat in the living room with coffee in hand, enjoying the early morning quiet before the busyness of the day began. I opened up a devotional book I have been reading by Nancy Campbell entitled <u>100 Days of Blessing: Devotions for Wives and Mothers-Volume Two</u><i>. </i>One little nugget of wisdom from this morning's reading was as follows:<br />
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<i>"Raise your children to excel in the gift that God has given them. Of course they don't have to excel in everything. Go has made each one totally different. We must encourage them to be the very best in that which God has given them to do."</i></div>
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A little while later, after the breakfast dishes were cleared, and the kids were playing in the living room still clad in their PJ's, I happened upon a treasure in the hall closet. The large, black binder I uncovered is filled with things I wrote from 8th grade through high school. As I began to flip through the various folders, some pieces were familiar while others were completely forgotten. There were school essays, writing contest submissions, and old copies of Brio magazine from the late 90's when I was thrilled to place in the top 8 semi-finalists for their Brio Girl contest. There were short stories, small devotionals, and my graduation speech. As I flipped through the old folders, waves of nostalgia swept over me. A few of the pieces I read aloud to Shawn. As a special education language arts teacher, he really enjoyed hearing some of my writing history, especially from my early adolescence. </div>
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Soon after I made the comment to him, "I was one of the rare kids who loved to write. While other classmates moaned over writing assignments, I got excited and poured everything into them!" What was true in my youth is still true today, over twenty years later. As I compose this blog I am seated at my favorite local coffee shop for my weekly "mommy break." The process of crafting words and sentences to share a story refreshes and energizes me. That which may seem as drudgery to another provides nourishment for my soul. </div>
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As I shared with my husband this morning, I was reminded of the truth I had read in my devotional a few hours prior. While there are many things I do not excel in, writing is one thing that has always flowed naturally. I'm thankful that I've had opportunities and encouragement over the years to develop this gift. In the same way, I am praying that Shawn and I will have clear discernment to recognize the gifts and callings in each of our children while they are still young. I want to encourage them and give each one ample opportunity to excel in the things they love and are gifted in. I realize that their pursuits, passions, and gifts may vary greatly, and what motivates one may not motivate another. I am excited to see their unique personalities unfold! </div>
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In light of all of these things, I am also reminding myself that the definition of "excelling" in something is broad and vast and cannot be place in a box. Benjamin is called to excel in the gifts that God has given him just as much as his siblings who do not carry an extra chromosome, though the expression may look very different. <b><u>His disability in no way detracts from the truth that God has a plan and a purpose for his life that is beautiful in its simplicity and eternal in its significance</u>.</b> To quote from Nancy Campbell's book once more: </div>
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<i>"God has a destiny planned for each one of your children and whether this task is large or small, it is great in the eyes of God. God has given you the awesome task of preparing each child for this purpose."</i></div>
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I am deeply humbled and extraordinarily grateful for the high calling of motherhood. It is not a job for the faint of heart, but it is a job that carries rewards without measure and purpose that reaches into eternity. By God's grace I will excel in this mighty task as I teach my children to be all they were created to be! </div>
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<i>As one who loves to write, a life-long dream of mine since childhood was to write books. My dream stepped in reality in 2014 with the release of <u>Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</u>. You can find it in paperback or on Kindle <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1513449546&sr=8-1&keywords=dana+hemminger">here.</a></i></div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-33325677580991846622017-11-25T10:49:00.000-08:002017-11-25T10:58:10.554-08:00The Day Two Little Syllables Changed My LifeIt has been eight years of waiting, eight years of wanting, eight years of wondering if the longed for day would ever come. I was waiting for two little syllables that contain a world of meaning; two little syllables that reflect an incredible depth of love, nurture, security, and comfort; two little syllables that speak to such a privileged purpose that I call my own. What were these two little syllables you ask? They were none other than the beautiful simplicity of "Mama."<br />
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I remember when I was pregnant with our daughter. Benjamin was three years old, and I wondered if I would hear "Mama" from this baby growing inside before I would hear it from my son. The thought was surreal, but I knew it was a definite possibility. Sure enough, one beautiful day 8-month-old Joelle was sitting in her highchair at meal time. Suddenly she reached for me and distinctly cooed "Mama!" My heart felt as though it would burst! I scooped her into my arms and cuddled her with delight as my husband, my mom (who happened to be visiting at the time), and I celebrated. At this point I had been a parent for over four years. I was <i>finally</i> hearing "Mama" spoken to me for the first time!<br />
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Joelle ended up being our very early talker, and her language quickly took off. In fact, it is very rare that she is <i>not</i> talking! With her fifth birthday quickly approaching, she loves to give us a running commentary on life through her eyes. Sometimes she has me laughing to the point of tears with the things she comes up with! I'm so thankful that Benjamin is able to hear so much speech while he's at home, not just from Mom and Dad, but from siblings as well.<br />
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When Joelle was a talkative little toddler, we discovered that I was pregnant with Josiah. Once again the question surfaced in my heart. <i>Will I hear "Mama" first from this child as well? </i>Sure enough, it has happened. Josiah's language is developing much slower than his sister's, but he definitely has his own little vocabulary that includes "Mama." However, he finds it very amusing to call me "Daddy" instead! Did I mention he has an ornery streak?<br />
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While Benjamin remains mostly non-verbal at this point, he does have an array of sounds and syllables he likes to make, including "Ba-ba" and "Da-da." In fact, one of his favorite games is for me to look at him and say with exaggerated pronunciation "Ba-Ba Benjamin, Da-Da Daddy, Ma-Ma Mommy." He smiles with delight, studies my mouth from different angles, and sometimes puts his hand under my chin to feel the sounds. He wants to speak, but his language still needs to be unlocked somehow. </div>
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That brings me to November 16 of this year. Our family was sitting around the table at supper time as we do every day. My husband sits next to Benjamin and helps to monitor how fast he eats. Our son has a tendency to keep shoveling food in his mouth. Often, Shawn will take his spoon away and remind him to finish chewing before taking another bite. Once the food is down Shawn returns the spoon to Benjamin's hand to continue. It can feel rather tedious, but we're not sure how else to keep him from getting too much food in at a time. Benjamin does NOT appreciate this process at all. On this particular evening he was extra cranky about the whole thing. Suddenly in his frustration he blurted out "mama!" Shawn and I looked at each other, surprised and unsure what think. A moment later it happened again. At this point my husband was sure that he was referencing me, but I still wasn't so sure. Was he really, or was he just making a new sound? After hoping for so many years, I was skeptical that the wait was finally over. </div>
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The next afternoon when I picked up Benjamin from school his teacher told me that he said "mama" three times that day. Each time, though, it was when he was frustrated about something. I was becoming more hopeful, but I still wasn't convinced. However, that evening changed everything. My super sensitive boy had become very upset about something close to his bedtime. I was sitting on the couch in the living room at the time. He came to me sobbing and wrapped his arms around my neck wanting me to hold him. Through his tears he kept saying, "Mama! Mama!" I was in shock. <i>This was the real deal.</i> I held him for a few moments, soaking it all in as I comforted my son. I then asked, "Benjamin, would you like some milk?" Immediately his tears stopped and he led me to the kitchen. I poured his milk and stood behind him with my hands on his shoulders as he drank. Between sips he continued to say, "Mama." I thought my heart would burst! Shortly after getting him to bed I looked at my husband. Still in a state of shock, I kept repeating, "It really happened. He really called me 'Mama.' After all these years of waiting it actually happened!" That's when the tears of joy began to fall. </div>
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One thing I've learned ever since Benjamin's birth is to never take things for granted. Every little milestone is a cause for big celebration! I remember watching other children with awe when our son was still an only child. I was amazed at the ease with which they mastered gross and fine motor skills--skills that their parents often didn't think twice about. However, those same skills were ones that had taken months or years of therapy, intervention, hard work, and often tears for Benjamin to accomplish. Some were milestones still on a distant horizon. When Joelle was born we were fascinated watching her natural development progress at what seemed to us as a rapid speed. It was beautiful and painful all at the same time, but it was always full of wonder. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have waited 8 YEARS to hear my firstborn call me "Mama!" But I must say that I don't think those two little syllables have ever meant as much as they did on the day that the prayers were finally answered, and the wait was finally over. I have much to celebrate!</span></div>
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<i>If you want to read more about our amazing journey with Benjamin, check out my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a></i></div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-21234912687796109682017-11-11T10:08:00.000-08:002017-11-11T10:08:20.558-08:00A Quiver FullAs I was growing up, I often dreamed of becoming a mother someday. I was naturally drawn to babies and children. I loved to nurture, and the thought of having my own little ones in the future filled my heart with such joy. At the beginning of my senior year of college I met my best friend and future husband. Two years later we were married, and within the first year we were eager to begin our family. However, weeks, months, and then years began to slip by, and we were still waiting. The ache of desire during that season was nearly unbearable at times as we continued to pray for a baby. We had a sense all along that our first born would be a boy. Shawn had known he wanted to name his first son Benjamin ever since he was in high school. The night before I finally had a positive pregnancy test, the Lord clearly spoke to my heart, "Read Psalm 68." When I reached verse 27 the words jumped off the page, "There is little Benjamin their leader." Sure enough, the next morning my pregnancy was confirmed, and Benjamin was indeed growing inside my womb! You can read that story <a href="http://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/02/companys-coming.html">here</a>.<br />
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Overjoyed that we had begun our journey into parenthood, we never could have fathomed what was in store for us within the near future. We never could have imagined the challenges we would face upon the arrival of our sweet son. We had no idea we were about to land in <a href="http://reflectionsfromholland.blogspot.com/2011/02/welcome-to-my-blog-why-holland.html">"Holland."</a> Since that day in May of 2009, we have been on an incredible journey of learning and growth. We have experienced great heartache, we have been filled with overwhelming joy, we have faced daunting challenges, and we have witnessed genuine miracles. The first four years of this amazing journey is recorded in my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a>.<br />
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A few years after Benjamin was born, we felt ready to add to our family. Once again the wait was longer than anticipated. However, a few months before our son celebrated his fourth birthday, we welcomed our beautiful daughter Joelle into the world, and took our first trip to "Italy." Holding my healthy newborn against my chest on the day of her birth was an incredibly healing experience as I took in the wonder of her tiny features and drank in her sweet newborn scent. She has been an incredible source of joy in our lives. She is lively, inquisitive, full of imagination, and will be celebrating her fifth birthday in a matter of months.<br />
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The conception of our sweet son Josiah was a thrilling surprise. He made his debut on the same day Joelle turned exactly two-and-a-half years old. His arrival was filled with it's own scary challenges, though. I was required to have a repeat c-section, and in the process he inhaled amniotic fluid into his lungs and began to drown. For several scary minutes he was very critical, but God's hand of protection was upon him. After nearly twenty minutes the medical staff was able to suction his lungs and get him stabilized. Unfortunately, however, he was taken to a NICU an hour away. My husband went to stay with him while I recovered in the hospital and cried for my baby. My mom and family friends cared for our other two children during these shaky couple of days. Three days after Josiah's birth I was released from the hospital and eagerly went to see and hold my newborn for the first time. Those three days were painfully long, but not so long as the nine days I had waited to hold Benjamin. Thankfully, Josiah was discharged shortly after we arrived, and he is now a spunky two year old, who is very much a Mommy's boy!</div>
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This fall we were once again thrilled to learn that another little blessing is on the way! I am currently three months pregnant with number four, and we couldn't be happier! One thing that has really marked this pregnancy so far is the strong sense of peace that has covered my heart. After our experience with Benjamin, I really wrestled with fear when I conceived the second time. I had some placenta complications early on and had a few frightening months of bleeding with Joelle. The fear continued into my third pregnancy as a result, though it was not quite as intense. However, I can look back and see the Lord's hand of faithfulness over each pregnancy and each child's life. My due date this time is the same week as my 36th birthday--an age where many women have decided to stop bearing children. However, I have such a calmness in my soul, and I am so grateful! I am praying to be able to fully enjoy the entire process this time. I am praying for the gift of a complication free pregnancy and delivery, but ultimately I know that the baby and I are in the Lord's hands. He is faithful.<br />
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This week I had a sweet video come up on my Facebook memory feed back from the time Benjamin was an only child. I was holding him and kissing him as he belly-laughed with a face full of glee. I watched it over and over, enjoying the precious memories of the time he had me all to himself. Even though beginning parenthood with a child with special needs was very difficult, I am so thankful that he was our first born and he had the experience of our undivided attention for nearly four years. The Lord knew he needed that time, and we did too. I am equally grateful, though, that he is growing up with siblings who will love him, teach him, and ultimately be a vital part of his life. They are all a gift to each other.<br />
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Children are such an incredible blessing, and I am so thankful that God has entrusted these little treasures to us. Parenting is definitely hard work as well, but the rewards far outweigh the challenges. Psalm 127:3-5a reads...<br />
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<i>Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them...</i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our quiver is getting full!</span></div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-58187640900579538992017-10-21T08:35:00.000-07:002017-10-21T08:46:11.703-07:00BENJAMIN LEEAs many of you know, October is National Down Syndrome Awareness Month! A number of years ago I wrote an acrostic name poem in honor of this, and I felt like trying one again. This is for you, Benjamin!...<br />
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">B</b>EAUTIFUL BOY, BORN A BLESSING<br />
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<b style="font-size: xx-large; text-align: center;">E</b><span style="text-align: center;">NJOYS THE SIMPLE THINGS (INCLUDING ELMO!)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicEJw3-4S-mnCpTIhLoArX8cqnV-o2WfnZDPy29d_u30wXFPn4Cm9Sd2zAr5e2SkKvN5hefNFRTho0wqrVZKf6ZRj6h2ajQ41DQxbx_gk4dr5fTcYq_KvoAc3h-32oUMoggJjoa0AXS66G/s1600/Dad+and+B+face+to+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="790" data-original-width="960" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicEJw3-4S-mnCpTIhLoArX8cqnV-o2WfnZDPy29d_u30wXFPn4Cm9Sd2zAr5e2SkKvN5hefNFRTho0wqrVZKf6ZRj6h2ajQ41DQxbx_gk4dr5fTcYq_KvoAc3h-32oUMoggJjoa0AXS66G/s200/Dad+and+B+face+to+face.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">J</b>OY-FILLED<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvYO8KP1eforCktuwBGUAWgAUj9jLs8V9IE4Rp3LTb-XzLD2AzJKfa9h5suxky8ynXApLTJGjlZBn-4c_-4QmxRtKoK7HWv6m3mByXffuH1XGEilp6aHWSMb5lfmwIS1NkBQsshPxDJ8rB/s1600/B+boat+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvYO8KP1eforCktuwBGUAWgAUj9jLs8V9IE4Rp3LTb-XzLD2AzJKfa9h5suxky8ynXApLTJGjlZBn-4c_-4QmxRtKoK7HWv6m3mByXffuH1XGEilp6aHWSMb5lfmwIS1NkBQsshPxDJ8rB/s200/B+boat+5.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">A</b>LWAYS AFFECTIONATE<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqXEqqOEtOCLvRcGbHho_tgx8XjGbzaTdl0P-VsoOl_C2Ggiv6ly2rVpR_CSD1MixfVH5HPmGhAG98WyixbL0XTxqTqPns6_pGa4XJOBKiZxOySbmvbAMawMF_ED98OeKJAOVDvTCFHlS7/s1600/DSCN2401.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqXEqqOEtOCLvRcGbHho_tgx8XjGbzaTdl0P-VsoOl_C2Ggiv6ly2rVpR_CSD1MixfVH5HPmGhAG98WyixbL0XTxqTqPns6_pGa4XJOBKiZxOySbmvbAMawMF_ED98OeKJAOVDvTCFHlS7/s200/DSCN2401.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">M</b>USIC LOVER<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKuDKP1fSs-Krde-VplfaXop2HV5eOPyS1aJiIGTl0ACrR5S4a0qcYxhvqtXUTTGOBXG4YN8wnD37TlqKeo79o7S0KV7r4tFcN7myL3RLVmthANVU4Qhyphenhyphen18RWCAlxST3Rq2kI_xOy5MZxd/s1600/DSCN2181.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKuDKP1fSs-Krde-VplfaXop2HV5eOPyS1aJiIGTl0ACrR5S4a0qcYxhvqtXUTTGOBXG4YN8wnD37TlqKeo79o7S0KV7r4tFcN7myL3RLVmthANVU4Qhyphenhyphen18RWCAlxST3Rq2kI_xOy5MZxd/s200/DSCN2181.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">I</b>NSPIRING INDIVIDUAL<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-LlXgPqm-8lYn2o382F5Z4F6NvSRfONFhUz-6FD5TlooATyGVqNwyR2LuXSfSeQBcAb5NVGgFIfZ-cIPfJzfjwgO8aoeGaUUOeJNvGTDGC-D3WmHjSnEIhVKEzuP1qCWbdxRddsKvYTpM/s1600/BookCoverImage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="333" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-LlXgPqm-8lYn2o382F5Z4F6NvSRfONFhUz-6FD5TlooATyGVqNwyR2LuXSfSeQBcAb5NVGgFIfZ-cIPfJzfjwgO8aoeGaUUOeJNvGTDGC-D3WmHjSnEIhVKEzuP1qCWbdxRddsKvYTpM/s200/BookCoverImage.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">N</b>AME MEANS "SON OF MY RIGHT HAND"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_c5rzKbWgqXndQwJeNOjRWwh6QHfNeIM9WKQ7EZ1eDVUkGen4E7YCT8FXDyn3wmP_qxODIT-aRJFlL3GHC5NiVUDIaT_CWOoJY1BGn4GlxdGXjj-zTGgvAXZgxBJcxqF527ftSPSZ770y/s1600/Copy+of+DSCN1311.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_c5rzKbWgqXndQwJeNOjRWwh6QHfNeIM9WKQ7EZ1eDVUkGen4E7YCT8FXDyn3wmP_qxODIT-aRJFlL3GHC5NiVUDIaT_CWOoJY1BGn4GlxdGXjj-zTGgvAXZgxBJcxqF527ftSPSZ770y/s200/Copy+of+DSCN1311.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">L</b>OVES TO LAUGH<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7rJpD3_TjJn2odRYaEVIbduy3pCqMzdGjtsfm1YUzwNIdyZRTgbi7odXv4NJc7vofglDasJbJ0fzUJsffWlsnt4ZmUg133V3x_We51AJpHQuvDr9f8hqShiHELKeDWDP-buIX945NDP0R/s1600/DSCN2801.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7rJpD3_TjJn2odRYaEVIbduy3pCqMzdGjtsfm1YUzwNIdyZRTgbi7odXv4NJc7vofglDasJbJ0fzUJsffWlsnt4ZmUg133V3x_We51AJpHQuvDr9f8hqShiHELKeDWDP-buIX945NDP0R/s200/DSCN2801.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">E</b>XPENDS EFFORT TO LEARN AND GROW<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9iRIWekW_DHU73_8AI1tpdjF88FY59UVnkGkxf4u-3p9LN-Rh5ScEsJZsaulHFV1d3yxjFL-eAQvwLySwZUQf4hY6Xtacy0X4h-EoabJaGdQ1p-7DYgQcJdYqoGym0-uTTI5HmPgeIMlY/s1600/DSCF8293.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9iRIWekW_DHU73_8AI1tpdjF88FY59UVnkGkxf4u-3p9LN-Rh5ScEsJZsaulHFV1d3yxjFL-eAQvwLySwZUQf4hY6Xtacy0X4h-EoabJaGdQ1p-7DYgQcJdYqoGym0-uTTI5HmPgeIMlY/s200/DSCF8293.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">E</b>TERNAL DESTINY OF ENDLESS POSSIBILITY<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ13Zj3h5rbtm0RJC-JLT5-BQhm5xce9pzhNhxI0H_qBuz9t-BfpDS6czQmDTRTgh_2rMEesG09Rg0DcnwwY352hlPWoy3rasWqJQaYeZVrk_suooCm7-x40P81jJ6iZNzrjKngY5F_ibr/s1600/Benjamin+walking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ13Zj3h5rbtm0RJC-JLT5-BQhm5xce9pzhNhxI0H_qBuz9t-BfpDS6czQmDTRTgh_2rMEesG09Rg0DcnwwY352hlPWoy3rasWqJQaYeZVrk_suooCm7-x40P81jJ6iZNzrjKngY5F_ibr/s200/Benjamin+walking.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6RxfI_wHBNgsUm9XSwXxw5q6IaLIgvnEmyvUkMeCrqC4Br5VqKAuokeniR5zK1CMzU_FGwghtEL6uIfqNTIPVrG2dq5MdLbiJEE17Oty2W_KmSoV9VHWAAjc6SDqoptN4QAQlUUjV0yVK/s1600/DSCF8919.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6RxfI_wHBNgsUm9XSwXxw5q6IaLIgvnEmyvUkMeCrqC4Br5VqKAuokeniR5zK1CMzU_FGwghtEL6uIfqNTIPVrG2dq5MdLbiJEE17Oty2W_KmSoV9VHWAAjc6SDqoptN4QAQlUUjV0yVK/s1600/DSCF8919.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">WE LOVE YOU, BENJAMIN, AND WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!</span></div>
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If you would like to learn more about Benjamin's remarkable story, check out my book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Reflections-Holland-Mothers-Journey-Syndrome/dp/1500269182">Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome</a> </div>
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<br />Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-19775819096167374182017-09-09T11:01:00.001-07:002017-09-09T11:01:14.222-07:00My Little BoyThis morning a wave of nostalgia hit me. I started reminiscing about Benjamin's baby and toddler days. I remembered the chubby hands and cheeks, the high-pitched giggles and squeals, and the constant kisses and cuddles. I can't help but share a few of my favorite pictures from those early years...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH3pYo_DAO_2O_xxGAv_Wf5adg7AEfA1EXdkKJMgJGLVNovA4I9BfFqH0_i2Q7Lvdfqn_HgODt2XicBriNGEvZaLyaDRJP97o10VvW94ZeYnaN24JaFbR4lgd1lHp_-u9JkBaMWERWLquc/s1600/62120017.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1064" data-original-width="1600" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH3pYo_DAO_2O_xxGAv_Wf5adg7AEfA1EXdkKJMgJGLVNovA4I9BfFqH0_i2Q7Lvdfqn_HgODt2XicBriNGEvZaLyaDRJP97o10VvW94ZeYnaN24JaFbR4lgd1lHp_-u9JkBaMWERWLquc/s320/62120017.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijZOeZHST7iQuH-M4IySD4ucTwOMi3PCsNzCmuGsgPgAZctjE-i-nTQP0hge-7SE2l7b4nO3HNwvsOFuvhfhpwwYnNZCrcY8ba2pZ9y0RpmkL17fIIajtGu2hdO5coCQVicuIg_zbVHw_e/s1600/DSCN1837.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijZOeZHST7iQuH-M4IySD4ucTwOMi3PCsNzCmuGsgPgAZctjE-i-nTQP0hge-7SE2l7b4nO3HNwvsOFuvhfhpwwYnNZCrcY8ba2pZ9y0RpmkL17fIIajtGu2hdO5coCQVicuIg_zbVHw_e/s320/DSCN1837.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYe-ZIbcQHq4JPBjFQQIaQTzczEkP2AzPsaAV_3-kR8ProioftSZu9QSOoFOT9aKdDAfHIhMGYBDb9lfVpgZqkvz1VQl6DVH3-DLrbo9T8TDrLL8T04DWpxftODWU42rnNe5m67-MjEUR8/s1600/59462_428469411371_622111371_5537289_78192_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYe-ZIbcQHq4JPBjFQQIaQTzczEkP2AzPsaAV_3-kR8ProioftSZu9QSOoFOT9aKdDAfHIhMGYBDb9lfVpgZqkvz1VQl6DVH3-DLrbo9T8TDrLL8T04DWpxftODWU42rnNe5m67-MjEUR8/s320/59462_428469411371_622111371_5537289_78192_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnW9HWemTIx1sXvmaUkV-8Pmf2v8h9OJUw1oLmAwT9nSUfTpATcaS8UUgI7dDsnp2SgAMBuXFe-HmFQvqLqPk3eWetDVE0AtPaWaLwkLx5vBo0qt7oyoQP5AW-OSMZoX3oVbgNdUKndxyB/s1600/199087_1773671994920_1632916717_1704916_4406578_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnW9HWemTIx1sXvmaUkV-8Pmf2v8h9OJUw1oLmAwT9nSUfTpATcaS8UUgI7dDsnp2SgAMBuXFe-HmFQvqLqPk3eWetDVE0AtPaWaLwkLx5vBo0qt7oyoQP5AW-OSMZoX3oVbgNdUKndxyB/s320/199087_1773671994920_1632916717_1704916_4406578_n.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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Now, I may be a bit bias as his mother, but can you say CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!! How is it that my chubby baby is now a growing 8-year-old and big brother to a little sister and brother? If I had a <b>dollar</b> for every time I have heard someone say, "Enjoy them while they're young because they'll grow up so fast!"...<i>Well...</i></div>
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Honestly, I used to get so tired of hearing people say that, especially before our other children came along. When you have a child with developmental delays certain things feel like they are moving at a snail's pace. Sometimes I wondered just how long the "baby stage" was going to last...</div>
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<i>When will he be able to roll over?</i></div>
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<i>When will he be able to sit up?</i></div>
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<i>When will he crawl?</i></div>
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<i>When will he walk?</i></div>
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<i>When will he be able to eat and drink independently?</i></div>
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<i>When will he learn to speak?</i></div>
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<i>How long will he be in diapers?</i></div>
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In reality, there are some of these questions we are still asking, yet many of them are now distant memories. Though many days feel long, years are flying by, and sometimes I wish I could just hold on a little bit longer to certain seasons. Ironically, I often catch myself telling other young moms, "It goes by so fast!" Each stage holds its own challenges, but each stage is unique and precious, and I don't want to take any of them for granted. <i>(There are too many great pictures--I have to share just a few more!)</i></div>
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Earlier this week Benjamin had an eye check-up appointment. The waiting room was full of parents and children as we waited for our turn to be called back. My son was restless, but overall he handled himself extremely well. He sat in my lap or stood in front of me bobbing up and down as I sang him some of his favorite songs. He occupied himself with his unique little vocalizations and characteristic hand-flapping. He tried to wander off exploring a time or two. He hugged my neck like a small child wanting some comfort and reassurance. In short, Benjamin was simply being Benjamin--the little boy I love and cherish... </div>
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...However, the longer we waited, the more aware I became of the looks coming our way from other adults, as well as the unabashed stares from other children. <i>I get it.</i> My son's sounds and behaviors that are so familiar to me are out of the ordinary for others. Things that are different draw attention. No one said anything, and I don't want to presume what people were thinking. I was realizing, though, that we are in a new season. When my son was small, he drew lots of attention because people were simply smitten with his cuteness. He seemed to make friends everywhere we went. <i>(I even had a particularly bold stranger come up and plant a kiss on his cheek when he was a toddler!) </i>I still think he's an incredibly cute kiddo (more potential mommy bias!), but he's older, and things are changing. <b><i>And that's okay... </i></b></div>
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Benjamin is happy. He is content in who he is. He knows that he is loved. He is secure. He is oblivious to the stares of others. He only knows how to be himself--no pretense, no guile--just a beautiful simplicity...</div>
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">...And I am PROUD of my son! </i>By God's grace he has overcome incredible hurdles, and I know there is so much we've yet to see. My little boy is growing up, but I still get to enjoy an abundance of kisses and cuddles, just as when he was little. He still wants to crawl up in his mommy's lap. His face still lights up with glee when I pick him up from school each afternoon. I never want to take his sweet affection for granted. </div>
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On the evenings that I put Benjamin to bed (Shawn often does while I take care of the younger two), I am almost always sure to tell him "Benjamin, Mommy loves you so much. I'm proud of you. I'm so happy you're my son!" He smiles and laughs and hugs my neck. I pray over him, and then he giggles as I whisper the familiar words in his ear, "It's bedtime now. Mommy's going to turn on your music, turn off the light, and shut the door. I'll see you in the morning. I love you!" It's our little routine that we've had for years, and he loves it. </div>
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So much life has happened in the eight years since my son's birth. I look back with gratitude for the experiences we've had, and I look forward with expectation for what the future will hold. No matter how many years go by, though, Benjamin will always be my little boy!</div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6496336716238764756.post-78702949421226876282017-08-26T10:54:00.000-07:002017-08-26T10:54:25.434-07:00Paths to Independence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNJL3TSUmvEk8Dlwtvz4QpXCqRqA32lYtj64KaFwt_r6KAgXbbTNG870qLpfW07wKPyZ2Nfkp-75YD22-jipvTBz7PTmLRxMS_1FsUV_FWjB6fo6LAxQOII849yXg03doSWOSwubkFBHlU/s1600/PTI+logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNJL3TSUmvEk8Dlwtvz4QpXCqRqA32lYtj64KaFwt_r6KAgXbbTNG870qLpfW07wKPyZ2Nfkp-75YD22-jipvTBz7PTmLRxMS_1FsUV_FWjB6fo6LAxQOII849yXg03doSWOSwubkFBHlU/s320/PTI+logo.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
With his hands clasped in ours, Shawn and I led Benjamin through the double doors of the Paths to Independence (PTI) school for autistic students to attend their open house and view their new (to them) facility. Crossing the thresh hold represented so much for our family. It was the glowing reviews for this unique school that prompted us to pursue having our son tested for autism, which was confirmed in May. We are in a brand new season of learning about Benjamin's dual diagnosis and providing the best opportunities we can for his growth and development. His enrollment in PTI is a huge answer to prayer. The school is private and accredited, and employs a very large staff, ensuring the students have the vital one-on-one interaction they need to thrive. As a result, the price of tuition is high. Thankfully, most students are eligible to receive a large state scholarship, greatly reducing the cost. Benjamin was approved, but we still needed some additional assistance. Through fundraising efforts and the generosity of friends and family, we were able to cover nearly half of the remaining cost of his tuition. The leftover amount we owe is much friendlier for our one income family. We are beyond grateful that the way was made for our son's education this year! Back to the open house...<br />
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Since their recent founding in 2012, PTI was operating out of a former daycare facility, as well as renting some building space across the street. As the school has quickly grown it became necessary for them to find a larger facility. Thankfully, they are now able to rent a former elementary school building in the heart of our town! Benjamin was given the opportunity to attend a few free days during their summer program before they transitioned to the new building. I had been impressed at how efficiently they had used the space they had to work with prior, but it was thrilling to see the new opportunities available for the staff and students now that they are housed in an actual school building!<br />
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Our first stop was in Benjamin's classroom. It was spacious, bright, and inviting, and our little guy wasted no time in wandering around and checking it all out! His initial look of surprise as he processed where we were quickly changed into a smile of delight. There is no doubt that he loves school. He was especially excited about an open area of carpet and happily planted himself in a nice comfy spot as he rejoiced in the new, yet familiar surroundings!<br />
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Once we convinced him to relinquish his spot on the carpet, we headed across the hall to the large resource room designed for his class. It was full of sensory stations, as well as tables and chairs where the younger students can eat their lunch. This room is designed to compliment the main classroom, and it offers a place for the students to go if they need a separate space to calm down should they become over-stimulated (a common need for children with autism.) Once again Benjamin was happy to explore, and Shawn had a bit of fun himself...I'm sure he'll forgive me for posting the picture!!!<br />
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Next we headed to the gym, which offers a large trampoline, a ball pit, sensory swings, etc. Benjamin enjoyed wandering around, but his highlight was getting up on the trampoline. We are still working on his balance, so he prefers to lay on his stomach, but he enjoys gentle bouncing. When Daddy got in with him, his excitement hit an all time high! It was so much fun to watch him so clearly enjoying himself! (Not to mention Shawn...)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK3ZsLSoViWzUpnTGAkAyi2XnPPWJe91RwKNpjgFVtlFkCpMIdgTvfgTYXgSxnRqUmmemFzMzUlu7MxDvLlbYnzIi1NXwsxk48AuWI73dPV3ybdXMwbu9ciNn5RyGGzvn-9yAmwpZulJlG/s1600/B+and+dad+trampoline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK3ZsLSoViWzUpnTGAkAyi2XnPPWJe91RwKNpjgFVtlFkCpMIdgTvfgTYXgSxnRqUmmemFzMzUlu7MxDvLlbYnzIi1NXwsxk48AuWI73dPV3ybdXMwbu9ciNn5RyGGzvn-9yAmwpZulJlG/s200/B+and+dad+trampoline.jpg" width="200" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0KaWKaeGIerMJq-gsoGMJDkeogfus45ifnf7O_2hbJPfomFxpwUnTu5pmj3SG6UCKscqKnVOJnNiD_yAsNbMj1zJVa2osAmfb-pksYaAXQ5B1UW2VT62RKxKBu-3lmB5oSy1U2kJDDokz/s1600/Shawn+swing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0KaWKaeGIerMJq-gsoGMJDkeogfus45ifnf7O_2hbJPfomFxpwUnTu5pmj3SG6UCKscqKnVOJnNiD_yAsNbMj1zJVa2osAmfb-pksYaAXQ5B1UW2VT62RKxKBu-3lmB5oSy1U2kJDDokz/s200/Shawn+swing.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
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During our time there that evening we also viewed the two separate playgrounds and spent time visiting with teachers and staff. One thing that really warmed my heart was the multiple, first name greetings my son received from so many as we walked the halls and visited the rooms. As I mentioned earlier, Benjamin attended some free days over the summer, but it was clear that he was already known and loved by the staff. Paths to Independence is a small school, but it has experienced rapid growth. When it made it's initial launch five years ago, they had one student enrolled. By the end of the year they had four full-time students and several part-time students. They received their accreditation the following year, and they are beginning this school year with 46 students, spanning elementary to high school. In the school's own words:</div>
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<i>Paths to Independence was founded to offer a supportive school community for children with autism and their families. We believe all students can learn and focus on helping each child develop as much independence as possible in all aspects of his/her life. PTI believes all children will thrive in an appropriate environment, so we will exhaust all possible options to help a child succeed. Paths to Independence believes that a strong family is essential for a child's success. Part of our mission is to give families and students the tools they need to be a full part of their communities. Paths to Independence accepts all children with an autism spectrum disorder.</i></div>
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At the time of this writing, Benjamin has attended seven full days of school, and so far it's been a wonderful experience. He is thriving within the intentional structure of the days as he works on realistic goals physically, socially, and educationally. His classroom teacher is a gentle, grandmotherly woman with a big heart for the children and years of experience. He does very well with her. He is also quickly becoming a favorite among the aids! Each morning I drop him off in the big, circle drive where a few of them are waiting to escort students inside. My son gives me an affectionate goodbye and does his little happy dance of bobbing up and down, all geared up for another day of school. They love it! I pick him up in his classroom each afternoon and find him calmly working one-on-one with an aid. He is always delighted to see me and commences his happy dance once again! </div>
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We are already seeing some little signs of breakthrough in his attention and socialization. One day after school last week his teacher told me that Benjamin happily engaged in play with her using a sensory ball <i>for ten minutes!</i> This may not seem like much to some, but it has been a big deal for us if he will do something like this for even <i>two</i> minutes. The next day he even chose the sensory ball over a snack, and this kid NEVER turns down food!</div>
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The most touching moment for me thus far came yesterday when I dropped my son off for the last day of the week. His teacher was intentional to come out and stop me before I could take off. We had a meeting with her before the school year began, and I had mentioned that I wrote a book about our early journey with Benjamin. I told her I would be happy to bring her a copy, if she was interested, so she could have a better understanding of our son's history. She happily agreed, and I gave her a copy at the end of last week. Yesterday she told me that she had already finished reading it and had passed it along to some of the aids. She found it touching and inspiring, and with tears in her eyes she told me that it brought back some personal memories as she began to unfold her own story...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiac7iDkOtiV-Nt93yzRfAC024isCBXAQjXlsmCjTKfjOiNiqoZ2WtYue-Qxq6Fhs2SscDtLd_JwSlbQqoFv7TBCDTIXswANRlyPfaLbvH2E7OoX92iLT5iUDDfZl1FR3bJnsbL0HgOEVqe/s1600/BookCoverImage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="333" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiac7iDkOtiV-Nt93yzRfAC024isCBXAQjXlsmCjTKfjOiNiqoZ2WtYue-Qxq6Fhs2SscDtLd_JwSlbQqoFv7TBCDTIXswANRlyPfaLbvH2E7OoX92iLT5iUDDfZl1FR3bJnsbL0HgOEVqe/s320/BookCoverImage.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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She told me that one of her children, a daughter, was born with a congenital heart defect (as was Benjamin). At first my heart sank, thinking I knew where her story was going, but I was wrong! Her daughter had open heart surgery while she was in the third grade, and was one of only three children in the USA to survive this particular surgery up to that point in time! She said that my book brought back so many memories--things she had not thought about for years. It was then that she revealed to me the most stunning part of her story. Her daughter is the founder and director of Paths to Independence! I never even knew they were related! She said to me, "The Lord knew she had important things to accomplish." WOW!</div>
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I thanked her for sharing her story and told her how very thrilled we are to have Benjamin attending PTI. She re-emphasized how well he's doing and how happy they are to have him. He is their first student with the dual diagnosis of Down syndrome and autism, though she and her daughter have both worked with children with Down syndrome in the past. I mentioned that I am learning that this is a good dual diagnosis to have because the Down syndrome often helps as a buffer for some of the struggles associated with autism, especially in areas such as socialization, affection, and overall temperament. (Now I realize that there are many other factors that come into play with this as well, such as home environment, personality, cognitive ability, etc...). She affirmed this observation and said that her daughter has always been excited to have children with Down syndrome present with children with autism because they often become good role models for behavior. They feel they are already seeing this at work with Benjamin. </div>
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As we said our goodbyes, and I drove away, my heart was overflowing with gratitude to the Lord. Each morning as I drive my son to school, one of the things I pray is that he will be blessed AND be a blessing. In such a sweet and unexpected way, He was showing me that my prayers are already being answered. It's going to be a great year! </div>
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Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16120325119208679054noreply@blogger.com0