Raising a child with Down syndrome does
hold many joys, but it also holds many challenges. There are no easy
answers for anything. Intervention is essential for Benjamin to
progress in his abilities, and this means extra work, extra
frustrations, and extra tears from all parties involved. My little
boy does not like change, and he fights hard against anything new.
Since he is not yet verbal, it is often difficult to discern what his
level of comprehension is in any given area. It's been easy to make
excuses. It's been easier to play the “Elmo's World” movie than
to deal with a temper tantrum. It's been easier to give him more
assistance than necessary when he's eating than to clean up the mess
he creates on his own. It's been easier to give him the soft spout
sippy cup that he chews on than to fight with him to drink from an
open cup. It's been easier to let him play with the familiar toys
than to deal with the screams and cries when we introduce something
new. The list goes on. Now, we don't always take the easy way out,
and there have been countless times that we have worked hard with him
over extended periods to develop new skills. However, we've realized
that with the extra responsibility of a second child we've been more
and more prone to let things slide. What's easier in the moment,
though, does not serve Benjamin in the long run. No more excuses!
A few years ago a ministry team prayed
over Benjamin while we were visiting the International House of
Prayer in Kansas City. One person shared with us, “Others will say
that he can't do (fill in the blank), but God says he can!” At the
time I envisioned the “He can't...” coming from people on the
outside. I pictured battles with school officials or kids from his
peer group. However, the morning Shawn and I had our talk, I came to
the sobering realization that I have been the guilty party in this!
Even if I haven't actually said that Benjamin can't do something,
it's been communicated by my own attitude and actions. I asked the
Lord to forgive me and to give me greater vision for my son's life.
As I tearfully shared this with Shawn, my sweet son threw his arms
around my legs laughing and grinning from ear to ear. He looked up at
me with delight in his little face as if to say, “It's OK, Mommy. I
love you!”
As I said, there are no easy answers
with Benjamin, but we know the One who holds all the answers. We may
feel so inadequate in ourselves to face the challenges of raising a
child with special needs, but the same God who knit Benjamin together
in my womb lives inside of us, and He will supply all the grace we
need to raise our son well. When I feel overwhelmed I must ask
myself, “Am I accessing that grace?” In those moments it's good
to remember what the Lord spoke to my heart during my son's first
year:
I have chosen Benjamin
for Myself, and I will release My glory through him.
His condition is not a
tragedy but an opportunity for Me to show Myself strong.
Do not grow weary and
do not lose heart for I have chosen your family
for such a time as
this. I will yet wipe every tear from your eye and
restore joy where there
has been sorrow. I AM God and I will do this,
so look to Me. Always
look to Me.
No more excuses!