The Dream

The dream was so vivid. It had been less than a month since we found out I was pregnant (November 23, 2008 to be exact) when it came to me during the night…

I was lying on a hospital bed getting ready to have an ultrasound with Shawn by my side. I looked expectantly up at the screen, eager to catch a glimpse of my baby. Instead the blank screen suddenly took the form of ancient parchment paper, and I witnessed the hand of God begin to write things concerning my unborn son. He began by saying “This is Benjamin.” I couldn’t remember what specific things He wrote about Benjamin’s life, but the message was clear. “He will be ok, and I have good plans for him.” Shawn and I were thrilled! Just as suddenly as the parchment appeared on the screen, it vanished, and a small boy who we did not know appeared in the room and began to taunt us by saying of our son “His name is Saul! His name is Saul!” A righteous indignation rose within me, and I looked at him square in the eye. With authority in my voice I addressed the boy, “His name is Benjamin, and you will call him Benjamin!” The boy fell silent and I looked back at to the ultrasound screen where my baby now came into view. I saw an almost full-term infant, writhing inside my womb in obvious distress. Before I had time to respond I awoke.

Not knowing what to make of this dream, I jotted it down in my journal with the brief comment “We wonder if God is preparing our hearts that there may be complications, but everything will turn out all right.” Such a simple statement, but little did I know the weight of truth it held! This dream gave us such comfort through so many days of uncertainty after Benjamin was born, as we sat next to his bed in the NICU, looking on helplessly at his little sedated body hooked up to so many tubes and wires. It gave us hope when things became apparent that our son had Down syndrome. It gave us hope when we were told our son had three holes in his heart and would require surgery down the road. It gave us hope during the open heart surgery that came all too quickly when Benjamin was only two months old. It has given us hope to fight against every discouraging and accusing thought that Satan brings our way in regards to our son and his life. It has given us hope through the many ups and downs we have experienced in our journey thus far. For what God has said of Benjamin will ultimately prevail. He knows our son; He formed him in my womb, and He will bring about His good plans in Benjamin’s life. Everything will be ok…