Paths to Independence

With his hands clasped in ours, Shawn and I led Benjamin through the double doors of the Paths to Independence (PTI) school for autistic students to attend their open house and view their new (to them) facility. Crossing the thresh hold represented so much for our family. It was the glowing reviews for this unique school that prompted us to pursue having our son tested for autism, which was confirmed in May. We are in a brand new season of learning about Benjamin's dual diagnosis and providing the best opportunities we can for his growth and development. His enrollment in PTI is a huge answer to prayer. The school is private and accredited, and employs a very large staff, ensuring the students have the vital one-on-one interaction they need to thrive. As a result, the price of tuition is high. Thankfully, most students are eligible to receive a large state scholarship, greatly reducing the cost. Benjamin was approved, but we still needed some additional assistance. Through fundraising efforts and the generosity of friends and family, we were able to cover nearly half of the remaining cost of his tuition. The leftover amount we owe is much friendlier for our one income family. We are beyond grateful that the way was made for our son's education this year! Back to the open house...

Since their recent founding in 2012, PTI was operating out of a former daycare facility, as well as renting some building space across the street. As the school has quickly grown it became necessary for them to find a larger facility. Thankfully, they are now able to rent a former elementary school building in the heart of our town! Benjamin was given the opportunity to attend a few free days during their summer program before they transitioned to the new building. I had been impressed at how efficiently they had used the space they had to work with prior, but it was thrilling to see the new opportunities available for the staff and students now that they are housed in an actual school building!

Our first stop was in Benjamin's classroom. It was spacious, bright, and inviting, and our little guy wasted no time in wandering around and checking it all out! His initial look of surprise as he processed where we were quickly changed into a smile of delight. There is no doubt that he loves school. He was especially excited about an open area of carpet and happily planted himself in a nice comfy spot as he rejoiced in the new, yet familiar surroundings!

 

 

Once we convinced him to relinquish his spot on the carpet, we headed across the hall to the large resource room designed for his class. It was full of sensory stations, as well as tables and chairs where the younger students can eat their lunch. This room is designed to compliment the main classroom, and it offers a place for the students to go if they need a separate space to calm down should they become over-stimulated (a common need for children with autism.) Once again Benjamin was happy to explore, and Shawn had a bit of fun himself...I'm sure he'll forgive me for posting the picture!!!

  

  

  

Next we headed to the gym, which offers a large trampoline, a ball pit, sensory swings, etc. Benjamin enjoyed wandering around, but his highlight was getting up on the trampoline. We are still working on his balance, so he prefers to lay on his stomach, but he enjoys gentle bouncing. When Daddy got in with him, his excitement hit an all time high! It was so much fun to watch him so clearly enjoying himself! (Not to mention Shawn...)

 

During our time there that evening we also viewed the two separate playgrounds and spent time visiting with teachers and staff. One thing that really warmed my heart was the multiple, first name greetings my son received from so many as we walked the halls and visited the rooms. As I mentioned earlier, Benjamin attended some free days over the summer, but it was clear that he was already known and loved by the staff. Paths to Independence is a small school, but it has experienced rapid growth. When it made it's initial launch five years ago, they had one student enrolled. By the end of the year they had four full-time students and several part-time students. They received their accreditation the following year, and they are beginning this school year with 46 students, spanning elementary to high school. In the school's own words:

Paths to Independence was founded to offer a supportive school community for children with autism and their families. We believe all students can learn and focus on helping each child develop as much independence as possible in all aspects of his/her life. PTI believes all children will thrive in an appropriate environment, so we will exhaust all possible options to help a child succeed. Paths to Independence believes that a strong family is essential for a child's success. Part of our mission is to give families and students the tools they need to be a full part of their communities. Paths to Independence accepts all children with an autism spectrum disorder.

  

At the time of this writing, Benjamin has attended seven full days of school, and so far it's been a wonderful experience. He is thriving within the intentional structure of the days as he works on realistic goals physically, socially, and educationally. His classroom teacher is a gentle, grandmotherly woman with a big heart for the children and years of experience. He does very well with her. He is also quickly becoming a favorite among the aids! Each morning I drop him off in the big, circle drive where a few of them are waiting to escort students inside. My son gives me an affectionate goodbye and does his little happy dance of bobbing up and down, all geared up for another day of school. They love it! I pick him up in his classroom each afternoon and find him calmly working one-on-one with an aid. He is always delighted to see me and commences his happy dance once again! 

We are already seeing some little signs of breakthrough in his attention and socialization. One day after school last week his teacher told me that Benjamin happily engaged in play with her using a sensory ball for ten minutes! This may not seem like much to some, but it has been a big deal for us if he will do something like this for even two minutes. The next day he even chose the sensory ball over a snack, and this kid NEVER turns down food!

The most touching moment for me thus far came yesterday when I dropped my son off for the last day of the week. His teacher was intentional to come out and stop me before I could take off. We had a meeting with her before the school year began, and I had mentioned that I wrote a book about our early journey with Benjamin. I told her I would be happy to bring her a copy, if she was interested, so she could have a better understanding of our son's history. She happily agreed, and I gave her a copy at the end of last week. Yesterday she told me that she had already finished reading it and had passed it along to some of the aids. She found it touching and inspiring, and with tears in her eyes she told me that it brought back some personal memories as she began to unfold her own story...

She told me that one of her children, a daughter, was born with a congenital heart defect (as was Benjamin). At first my heart sank, thinking I knew where her story was going, but I was wrong! Her daughter had open heart surgery while she was in the third grade, and was one of only three children in the USA to survive this particular surgery up to that point in time! She said that my book brought back so many memories--things she had not thought about for years. It was then that she revealed to me the most stunning part of her story. Her daughter is the founder and director of Paths to Independence! I never even knew they were related! She said to me, "The Lord knew she had important things to accomplish." WOW!

I thanked her for sharing her story and told her how very thrilled we are to have Benjamin attending PTI. She re-emphasized how well he's doing and how happy they are to have him. He is their first student with the dual diagnosis of Down syndrome and autism, though she and her daughter have both worked with children with Down syndrome in the past. I mentioned that I am learning that this is a good dual diagnosis to have because the Down syndrome often helps as a buffer for some of the struggles associated with autism, especially in areas such as socialization, affection, and overall temperament. (Now I realize that there are many other factors that come into play with this as well, such as home environment, personality, cognitive ability, etc...). She affirmed this observation and said that her daughter has always been excited to have children with Down syndrome present with children with autism because they often become good role models for behavior. They feel they are already seeing this at work with Benjamin. 

As we said our goodbyes, and I drove away, my heart was overflowing with gratitude to the Lord. Each morning as I drive my son to school, one of the things I pray is that he will be blessed AND be a blessing. In such a sweet and unexpected way, He was showing me that my prayers are already being answered. It's going to be a great year! 

The Nature of Trials

I really enjoy the memory app on Facebook. You know--the one that shows you what you posted on that day in previous years. It brings a smile to my face to look back on memories, some of which I may have forgotten. Sometimes it's a sweet picture of the kids, sometimes it's a funny memory of something said or done, sometimes it's a word of encouragement from a dear friend, and sometimes it's a reminder of the Lord's amazing faithfulness. It's good to remember our history. It reminds us of mistakes made, lessons learned, and victories won. It reminds us that seasons come and seasons go. It reminds us of what is truly important in life and often brings fresh perspective.

Recently some of the memories showing up on my Facebook have been bittersweet. There was a picture recently of Benjamin as a newborn in the NICU, hooked up to oxygen as I touched his tiny hand.
 

There was also a post about me passing long hours in his hospital room following open heart surgery and my longing to hold my baby in my arms again and bring him back home.

On the day the heart surgery memory came up, I was in need of some fresh perspective. Summer's are difficult for Benjamin. Though he has been able to attend an Extended School Year (ESY) program through the school system, it is only for half a day, and it does not last the duration of the vacation time. He doesn't do well with the change in routine from the school year. He gets bored and frustrated at home, leading to extra whining and sometimes more aggressive behaviors. Many days are just plain hard, and I can feel my frustration mounting. However, when I was reminded of the difficulties of my son's first shaky months, my perspective began to shift, and I was filled with gratitude for my beautiful, miracle boy, and the privilege it is to have him with me. In that moment I dropped whatever I was doing, found my son, and just loved on him for awhile.

In the midst of these memories, I've been considering the nature of trials. No person is immune from seasons of hardship, some great and some small. Ultimately, though, that's what they are--seasons. It's hard to keep this in mind when we're in the middle of the turmoil. It's hard to see anything beyond our own present pain. It's fresh, it's raw, and it's real. It often feels all-consuming. In the latter half of Psalm 30:5 we read, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning," (NKJV).

When Benjamin was fighting for his life as a newborn in the NICU and shortly after when his little body was fighting to recover from open heart surgery, it was difficult for me to see anything beyond the hardship and pain. I didn't have the awareness of what the future would hold. I didn't know that in eight years time my overwhelming trial would be a memory on my Facebook feed, reminding me to pause and give some extra cuddles to my healthy, growing son. I couldn't see the beautiful chaos of my life today with three happy, loud, energetic, and beautiful children I am privileged to call my own. 

However, there was one thing I did have even on the darkest of days--HOPE. I had hope because Jesus is King. I had hope because Jesus is Savior and Healer. I had hope because Jesus is the eternal Lover of my soul. I had hope knowing that He is always with me, and I never have to walk anything alone. I had hope because my God is good, even when my trials would try to scream otherwise. I had hope knowing that whatever the length of season, my trials are ultimately temporary because I am of the company of those redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus with the promise that one day, "...God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away," (Revelation 21:5).

It is true that trials come and trials go. Seasons shift and change, often completely out of our control. This present season will also one day become a distant memory. The future will undoubtedly hold both joy and pain. In every season, though, whether full of difficulty or delight, I want to maintain the proper perspective. In every season, I want to live with the constant reality of my deep need for Jesus. This whole life is temporary, but God is eternal. And because Jesus lives, I can have hope at all times!

Downright Delight!

As a mother, one of my greatest joys comes from seeing the delight in the faces of my children when they experience something new and enjoyable. This has been especially true with Benjamin. He may not be able to verbalize his happiness and excitement, but he clearly communicates these emotions through facial expression, body language, and sound. Whatever emotion he feels, he expresses fully with nothing held back.

We recently took a vacation up north to visit my husband's family. It was a long, 12 hour drive that we opted to make during the night while our children slept. All three of them did remarkably well with the changes in schedule, location, and normal diet during the week we were away. The entire visit was an enjoyable one, but the definite highlight came on our last full day when we drove to a nearby lake with Shawn's dad and grandparents. His dad owns a small motor boat, and our kids were about to enjoy their very first voyage on the water!

We took Benjamin for the first ride while the younger two played on the beach playground with their great grandparents. From the moment the wind hit his face, he was hooked!

He grinned ear to ear the whole time, watching the beautiful scenery speed by as the boat cut through the water. He made his happy sounds and bobbed up and down with delight. He smiled at me and at his daddy as if to say, "This is amazing! Why haven't we done this before!" As we witnessed the thrill on his face, we were wondering the same thing.

 

After Benjamin finished his ride it was time to take the other two out. Meanwhile, Benjamin kept his great grandparents hopping as he happily wandered around the park and picnic area. Joelle and Josiah weren't quite as enthusiastic as their big brother. Joelle is my cautious child, so she was already nervous to begin with. I got a smile out of her when we first sat down in the boat, but once the loud engine started, she placed her fingers firmly in her ears and kept her head down for most of the ride. Oh well...

Josiah wasn't sure what to think either. He wasn't a fan of the bulky life jacket, and he didn't much appreciate being held in my lap when we would rather be moving. He had been immensely enjoying his swing ride on the playground prior, and he was getting pretty sleepy. In other year or so we will probably get a more enthusiastic response from him.

Before calling it a day later on, we decided to take Benjamin out for one more joy ride. And by joy ride, I mean JOY ride! The water had gotten a bit choppier as the wind picked up, and we got splashed a time or two. He wasn't sure what to think of the cold spray, so his grandpa pulled him onto his lap where the wind shield offered a bit more protection. (I didn't fair so well in the back seat...) The choppy water made for a bumpier ride, and Benjamin thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it! They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and the pictures I captured during that last ride say it all. I honestly can't remember that last time I witnessed this level of pure excitement and joy in my sweet son!

As I said at the beginning, witnessing delight in my child's face is one of my greatest joys. This simple boat ride created a cherished memory for our family that we will enjoy for years to come. Thanks for letting me share our little outing with you today, and I hope I made you smile!

He is Still My Son

For months—if not years—I tried to ignore the signs. It was easier to make excuses. It was easier to brush them off. It was easier to assume that the behavior patterns I was seeing in my son were all related to Down syndrome or simply personality. But no matter how hard I tried, my suspicions grew…

As a two-year-old, one of Benjamin’s favorite pass times was to sit and twirl his little high-lighter yellow, stuffed gorilla in his chubby, little hands. He would study it from every angle, entirely absorbed and fascinated. It was pretty darn cute, though we always tried to encourage more interactive play. As a seven-year-old he still continuously seeks out plush toys (monkeys and Elmo are his personal favorites, but anything with limbs will do) so that he can obsessively twirl them or chew on their limbs. It is no longer cute but concerning. 

As a three-year-old, his fascination with light-up, musical, baby toys and the spinning of his See-n-Say, seemed age appropriate for his current level of play. He loved the repetitive patterns of the sounds and lights. As a seven-year-old, his interest in toys has not progressed, and he his favorite toys remain the same. They have become the common background noise in our home.

When Benjamin was only a few years old I would attend play dates with him so he would have the opportunity to be around other children. He showed little to no interest in them, but I chalked it up as his young age and current developmental level. After years of opportunity for peer interaction at school, and now the presence of younger siblings at home, he still displays little to no interest in playing with other children (unless they can sing him “Wheels on the Bus” with the hand motions)! So much of the time he seems to be off in his own little world. 

For so long I have been aching to hear my son say “Mama,” or any purposeful word for that matter. As the years slip by, his non-verbal state becomes more heart-breaking, but I continue to hold onto hope that one day he will speak.

When the repetitive hand-flapping surfaced a year or so ago, my suspicions grew even more. As a member of various Down syndrome support groups on social media, I was also becoming increasingly aware that our life with Down syndrome looks VERY different from others. But still, I struggled to admit my concerns. I was afraid that giving voice to them would solidify them, and was I ready to face that reality?

Finally, I realized that I was being selfish. I wanted to resist what I was sensing because I didn’t want to deal with the pain that may result. Benjamin is my son whom I love with all my heart. Nothing will ever change that, and understanding what is truly going on with him will make it easier to give him the help he needs. So, with a deep breath and a new resolve I told my husband, “I think we should have Benjamin tested for autism.”

There... I said it…I can’t take it back again. Shawn was surprised and resistant at first. He had been making the same excuses. He feared facing a dual diagnosis as well. I explained to him my reasoning, and before long he relented and even supported the new quest.

Where to begin? I began by contacting the pediatrician’s office, requesting a referral for testing. I was shocked by the response I received. “There is no reason to test Benjamin for autism since he already has Down syndrome. It wouldn’t change anything.” EXCUSE ME!!! At best this response was outdated ignorance. Not to be deterred I reached out to the local support group. I was referred to a child psychologist who would not require a doctor’s referral and whose services would be covered by Benjamin’s insurance. Thus, began a several month process--largely due to scheduling gaps caused by his full caseload.

There was the initial consultation with my husband and me, there were mountains of paperwork and questionnaires to be filled out, there was a one-on-one observation session with Benjamin and the psychologist, there was a joint observation session in which my husband was present and able to answer questions, and finally, there was the ending consultation that I attended while the psychologist reviewed the official results with me. This last session was less than a week ago at the time of this writing. Going in, I expected him to tell me that Benjamin is indeed on the spectrum, but I was hopeful that it would be a mild case. It was both surprising and disheartening to hear him say that my son has autism spectrum disorder level 3—the highest level. He did assure me that this can change as our son grows and develops and as we continue intervention services with him. But still…my baby boy is faced with another daunting hurdle after having been through so much since he was born.

That evening after Benjamin was asleep I snuck into his room and lay down beside him. I held him, and kissed him, and prayed over him. I told him how very much I love him. He is still first and foremost my son. A new diagnosis does not change that and never will…

This is the same little boy who opened my womb, giving me my first positive pregnancy test after over two years of trying and countless tears of longing to conceive, finally making me a mother…

This is the same little boy who flooded my heart with an intensity of love and a pain I never knew was possible when he entered the world fighting for his life…

This is the same little boy who defied the odds and was nurtured at my breast for over two years…

This is the same resilient little boy who has overcome challenges  both medical and developmental, all the while teaching me that what others may perceive as little things are cause for big celebration!...

This is the same little boy whose favorite things are his See-n-Say, “Wheels on the Bus,” Elmo, and stuffed monkeys, (not to mention food!)…

This is the same little boy who has always loved to have Mommy sing to him as he holds onto my neck and bobs up and down, dancing with delight…

This is the same little boy who has flooded my heart with joy every day with his sweet smile, contagious laughter, and affectionate hugs…

This is the same little boy who re-ignited my passion for writing and became the inspiration for my first book Reflections from Holland: A New Mother's Journey with Down Syndrome…

This is the same little boy who has given my husband and me the opportunity to connect with a beautiful community of people over the years who we may have never met otherwise…

When Benjamin was a newborn fighting for his life in the NICU, we knew very little about Down syndrome. So, what did we do? We began to educate ourselves. We allowed ourselves to grieve. We reached out for support. We prayed. And above all—we LOVED our son. We took to heart the wise advice from a dear friend to “Celebrate your son every day.”

We are now at a new crossroads with Benjamin’s new diagnosis. Presently, we still know very little about autism. So, what will we do? We will begin to educate ourselves. We will allow ourselves to grieve. We will reach out for support. We will pray. And, most importantly, we will continue to LOVE our son. We will choose to celebrate him every day, through good times and bad. After all, at the end of the day, Benjamin is still our son, and he is enough!

   

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

"Don't sweat the small stuff," a wise woman recently spoke over me as I was receiving prayer at a small group gathering. Her simple words resonated deeply on the inside, and through them I felt the gentle exhortation of my Savior.

It's so easy to allow the trivial circumstances and common frustrations of life to rob us of our peace and joy. It's so easy to make mountains out of molehills and become so caught up in the temporal that we have no time to consider the eternal. How quickly I can fall into this trap and find myself spinning in my mind and my emotions!

I'm behind on the laundry!...

We didn't get the dishes done, and now I have to prepare dinner in a messy kitchen so we're not late for our meeting tonight!...

Benjamin had a dirty diaper blow-out, and he's a mess, along with his clothes and his the sheets on his bed! Where do I start?...

I need to get all three kids out the door in the next five minutes so we're not late for Benjamin's therapy appointment. My four-year-old doesn't want to put on her shoes, my toddler keeps pulling off his shoes, and Benjamin is crying by the door because he's anxious to go!...

My toddler is trying to eat things out of the trash can!...

My four-year-old made a complete mess of her bedroom when she was supposed to be taking a nap!...

I have ten things on my to-do list, and I can't seem to complete even one without constant interruptions!...

These are some simple previews from my day-to-day life. Your list of triggers may be completely different, but you get the idea! There are constant opportunities in this journey called life to allow the tyranny of the urgent to take center stage in our hearts and minds. Before we know it we're caught up in simply trying to manage and maintain instead of living with purpose and vision.

We have a few chalk boards in our kitchen on which I like to write down scripture verses and inspiring quotes that I can read as I go throughout the day. Last week during my early morning devotional time, a phrase ran through my mind, and I quickly jotted it down as a constant reminder:

Steward the temporal. Cherish the eternal.

Isaiah 26:3 holds a wonderful promise...

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (NLT)

When I focus my mind on Jesus, I am able to see the circumstances around me from the proper perspective. I don't have to allow the trivial things of life to control me. I want to be a good steward of the mundane realities that come with caring for a home and raising small children, but I desire to approach these tasks with a heart of worship and an eternal vision. This will only happen as I take me thoughts captive and focus them on Jesus.

I've been considering this advice as it relates to the hearts of my children as well. Small stuff can appear VERY BIG to a young child's perspective. Simple inconveniences and frustrations can be perceived as a major crisis...

I can't get my toy to turn on! (Benjamin)

The Elmo DVD hasn't started yet! (Benjamin)

My shoe is on the wrong foot, and I have to switch it! (Joelle)

My little brother got into my toy box! (Joelle)

Mommy went into the bathroom and shut the door on me! (Josiah)

I want to pull things out of the cupboards and drawers, and Mommy stopped me! (Josiah)

I'm hungry and supper isn't ready yet!!! (All three)

From my vantage point, I can easily recognize how trivial the triggers for their meltdowns really are. (Father God could say the same about me!) However, in the midst of my children lamenting over the temporal, I have an opportunity to invest in the eternal. Let me explain...

In another hour (or even five minutes) they probably won't remember the mishap or frustration that currently feels so monumental to their little hearts. What they will remember, though, is my response to them in the midst of it. They will remember if I distractedly brushed them aside so that I could complete my "supremely important" task of chopping the vegetables for dinner or sorting the dirty laundry. They will remember if I reacted to their frustration with frustration of my own. They will remember if I disregard their very real feelings because I see the situation as so very trivial.

I don't want these to be their memories.

I want them to remember Mommy being free to stop whatever she's doing to hug them and wipe away their tears.

I want them to remember Mommy coming alongside and helping them remedy the situation.

I want them to remember Mommy taking the opportunity to teach them that their emotions are not wrong, but they have a choice in how they respond.

I want them to remember Mommy praying with them and asking Jesus for His peace and His help in any given situation, teaching them to turn to the Lord in all things.

I want them to remember watching me make good choices in my responses because the actions I model to them will teach them more than my words ever could.

I want them to remember Mommy humbling herself and asking for forgiveness in the times that I let my emotions get the better of me and I don't respond well.

I want them to feel and know that Mommy is a safe place to run when they are hurting or upset so that they will keep coming as the years go by and the nature of their struggles and frustrations take on a new face.

Ultimately, I want them to see in me the One who is truly the safest place they can run, so that they will learn to make the Lord their refuge at all times.

Don't sweat the small stuff...REDEEM IT!

The truth of the matter is, the "small stuff" creates the building blocks for the "big stuff"--things like character development, communication, security, identity, relationship, priorities...and the list goes on and on.

Steward the temporal. Cherish the eternal. 

I want to faithfully steward the "small stuff" of the temporary in order to build on that with is eternal in my life and the in the lives of my precious children. And that, my friends, is BIG!

Gifts and Rewards

This verse is a favorite of mine because it so clearly speaks of God's heart and His value system. If the Lord of all creation has a gift He desires to give to me, I want to receive it gladly! If He has a reward with which He wants to bless me, I want to embrace it fully! How beautiful the thought that each and every child is a gift and a reward. How can anyone feel insignificant in the light of this reality? Each and every child conceived is a gift and a reward from the very heart of God. 

Notice that this passage does not hold any exclusions. It does not say, "Children who were specifically planned for...," or "children who are perfectly healthy...," or "children who we can afford...," or "children who were born under the right set of circumstances...," or "children in manageable numbers..." No. It simply says "Children are a gift from the Lord."

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that often perceives children as an inconvenience, a burden, or even a "mistake." We have been so deluded that we even deny the humanity of a child in the womb if that child is not wanted. These sentiments are often even stronger if a child has special needs and/or medical complications. But the Word of God says that "Children are a gift from the Lord..." This means ALL children, regardless of any external circumstances. 

My sweet son Benjamin, with his extra chromosome and the resulting challenges that he faces, is a gift from the Lord. He is a reward. It is our joy and delight to embrace him as such--to love, nurture, and care for him and to learn more about the beautiful heart of Father God along the way. He is a blessing, and he always will be!

If we read on in Psalm 127 it tells us, "Children born to a young many are like arrows in a warrior's hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!" (vs 4-5; underline mine). We also live in a culture that often discourages and even criticizes large families. So many couples want to limit their families to one or two children. We are given so many reasons for this--money, education, manageability, career pursuits, etc... However, God's value system is so different from our own. He clearly tells us that children are a gift and a reward, and that multiple children bring joy. Each child is created in the image of God, full of potential and destiny that no one else can carry in the same way. 

Shortly before I conceived Joelle, our second child, I attended a women's gathering called The Esther Call. It was a day of fasting and prayer for the ending of abortion in our nation. During the event we had amazing times of worship and prayer, along with powerful testimonies of women who's lives had been impacted by abortion. Some were post-abortive mothers who grieved for the children they lost, some were siblings of aborted children, who wished they had the opportunity to know their brothers and sisters, and some were abortion survivors, whose mothers chose life for them even at the last minute. As one voice, the hundreds of us who were gathered declared Psalm 127:3, and thanked the Lord for the blessing of children. At this time I was longing to have more children, and in His goodness the Lord rewarded me a few months later. We now have three precious gifts, and we are willing to receive more "arrows" from the Lord if He wills it for us. 

                

The truth is, so much of what the world perceives as gifts and rewards are material in nature. They are fleeting, soon to pass away. However, the gifts and rewards of God are eternal. Each new child is an eternal soul, one birthed from the heart of God, and one who Jesus shed His precious blood to redeem. As parents, we have the monumental calling of teaching and preparing our children to know the Lord, to walk in His ways, and fulfill the call of God on their lives. He did not promise that this calling would be easy or trouble-free, but He did promise that it will be filled with joy!